to think that if young children are having full on tantrums outside, they should be taken indoors?

[toonoisie]

My next door neighbours have a couple of toddlers who play a lot in their garden. I’m not expecting silence and normal playing, laughing, even the odd cry doesn’t bother me.

But what’s starting to really grate is that when the tantrums kick off, they just leave them outside. These aren’t quick little moments either, it’s full screaming, crying, shouting, going on and on. Sometimes the parents are out there but just let it carry on, other times they actually go back inside and leave the kids out there still in the middle of it.

Even when they’re just “playing” it’s very loud, lots of screaming rather than normal chatter, but I’ve tried to ignore that because kids are kids. It’s the tantrums being left to play out in the garden that I’m struggling with.

It feels a bit unfair that everyone else has to listen to prolonged screaming when it could just be taken inside and dealt with there. I wouldn’t mind nearly as much if they at least brought them in once it escalates.

I also don’t feel like I can just have a quiet word with them as we’ve had issues over parking in the past, so it’s not exactly a comfortable or friendly situation.

Should the OP enjoy hearing some kid kicking off then?

Apparently that is the way to be fun - to love listening to a barrage of screaming, crying and shouting.

Who is asking you to “love it”?

Ah the atypical neighbour who expects an office environment in a residential setting…

Ah the selfish neighbour who thinks their kid having a tantrum should be shared with the neighbourhood.

Some parents don’t have the emotional intelligence or coping strategies to deal with tantrums to be honest…so it could be a bit of that.

Gosh you would have hated us- we’d put our children in time out outside in the garden (weather permitting). It was safe and they could exhaust themselves for a few minutes!
Be honest, it suited you not to gave to deal with ut indoors and just font give a shit how unpleasant it is for neighbours.

Entitled and selfish, typical of new generation parenting.

That isn’t what the poster you’re replying to is saying in the slightest.

Victorian times?

I was matching that poster’s comment.

YABU

Ignoring them is the quickest way to stop the tantrum.

Giving them attention or trying to move them indoors is going to cause a bigger and longer tantrum than just leaving them to it.

Ha ha my kids are pretty much all grown up so hardly.

when children are having full on tantrums they can behave very irrationally. My DS used to try and break free and run into roads (from the age of 2- he was super strong)

the best thing to do was to put them somewhere safe and could have space and fresh air to calm down away from us so they wouldn’t lash out. Putting them in a room with furniture was the worst place for them. None of the neighbours complained and they seem to like our kids so no harm done

it was rare occurrence but worked for us. Our current neighbour has a child who we hear screaming a lot. He apologised to all the neighbours about it but honestly it will pass. He has my sympathies rather than judging them. We all are just doing our best.

I don’t think that poster was calling you unpleasant OP, I think she was talking to the weirdo who thinks you should find tantrums “fun” 😅

this was my grans answer in 1955. And my mothers in 1980. Hardly new.

Only other people’s children should be taken inside to tantrum. If it’s your own children then share the pain.
😉😁😁.

Loving all the people justifying passively making the neighbours endure the hideous sound of a tantrum.

Almost as bad is the screaming - we were taught that screaming was an emergency thing but apparently now it’s just part of general play.

Of course nobody is going to assume a child is in trouble just because it is screaming, so I would think that could be problematic.

Okay but why is it okay to inflict that on the neighbourhood? I get that it’s difficult but it’s very annoying (and in some cases for ND people actually painful)

I find it so sad that the only way some parents can manage a toddler's tantrum is to leave them alone in the garden.

As for the selfishness of imposing the unpleasantness to neighbours, well, sadly, many people just don't t care one but about their neighbours, as long as their life is easier.

It is not something I have really considered before but we have very thin walls and neighbour spends most of her time inside so I would imagine the tantrum would be more disruptive if the toddler was inside here.

because that is life when you live close to neighbours. Some of our neighbours like to play music in the summer evenings, other like to have friends around and chat loudly so we can hear them in our garden. We all have to put up with each other and occasionally listen to noise we’d rather not. My next door neighbour had the mower out earlier and that was really loud and annoying while I was trying to work but that’s life. Like I said my neighbour has a screaming kid and if it helps them to out him outside occasionally then so be it.

Silence is golden, unnecessary noise is not nice.

My point was that if they are inconsiderate in their parking it's not surprising if they are inconsiderate in other ways.

I didn't get that from what you posted:

Yes we used to bring ours in in meltdown for the neighbours' sake. But I've never fallen out with neighbours over parking either.

I disagree - people have many views on how they'd parent their own children before they become a parent themselves... "my children will sleep from 7-7" "i would never allow my children to watch tv" "I would never allow my children to go on a device in a restaurant" ... And so leads to "I would never allow my children to tantrum like that in public" 🙄 I think it's relevant as it can be easy to judge without knowing what they're going through.

The only inconsiderate people around where I live are parents. Although I find it easier to tune out the sounds of machinery and music than the physical pain I get from a screaming child whose parent can’t be arsed to deal with it