to think that if young children are having full on tantrums outside, they should be taken indoors?

[toonoisie]

My next door neighbours have a couple of toddlers who play a lot in their garden. I’m not expecting silence and normal playing, laughing, even the odd cry doesn’t bother me.

But what’s starting to really grate is that when the tantrums kick off, they just leave them outside. These aren’t quick little moments either, it’s full screaming, crying, shouting, going on and on. Sometimes the parents are out there but just let it carry on, other times they actually go back inside and leave the kids out there still in the middle of it.

Even when they’re just “playing” it’s very loud, lots of screaming rather than normal chatter, but I’ve tried to ignore that because kids are kids. It’s the tantrums being left to play out in the garden that I’m struggling with.

It feels a bit unfair that everyone else has to listen to prolonged screaming when it could just be taken inside and dealt with there. I wouldn’t mind nearly as much if they at least brought them in once it escalates.

I also don’t feel like I can just have a quiet word with them as we’ve had issues over parking in the past, so it’s not exactly a comfortable or friendly situation.

What is the parking issue?

That’s irrelevant though. Anyone who thinks it’s reasonable to disturb the whole neighbourhood while their kid works through its ‘big feelings’ it selfish

Use your outside voice..
Oh for goodness sake Jemima please shut up.

Do people have cellars anymore? My mum used to lock either me, or more usually my brother, in our cellar if we were being too noisy.

I think it's a bit unreasonable of the parents, but also I can see why a parent would do it. Parenting is a learning curve and OPs neighbours sound like they've hit the terrible 2s / threenager stage, which can be really hard for some parents. I just don't think it's okay to judge when you don't know what someone is walking through.

I'm with you OP.

If your kid is screeching like a banshee and other people are out trying to enjoy their garden then you are an inconsiderate twat to leave them out screaming.

Take them in.
It's your kid.
You put up with the din.
I don't want to hear it.

Someone may find it hard with their child but that’s not the responsibility of everyone else. When my head is pounding and I am in sensory mode overdrive, I may be less than sympathetic.

Well that’s you. Having a kid cry for 2 minutes outside whilst they calm down in a safe environment is hardly worse than a neighbour getting their leaf blower out for 30 mins.

Not relevant. You can be a parent with young children and still find that other people's shrieking feral brats can irritate the shit out of you.

Iv always hated screaming and shrieking. Its the one behaviour I actively discouraged.

Where’s the suggestion that it’s two minutes?

And it depends - I wouldn’t notice a leaf blower but when I’m in pain from the screeching, I am less than understanding

me, I was being criticised for putting my child outside deliberately whilst they calmed down from a tantrum. Usually took about 2-3 mins.

Why are dc having so many tantrums?! I find this a new phenomenon. My DDs probably had 2. Each. Just a very rare occurrence. Neither did they scream during play and no child they played with screamed rather. So why do parents put up with this. I sometimes stare out DC I don’t know who are bellowing. It’s amazing how they stop but the parent has done nothing. Just lets them annoy everyone. It’s unbelievably lazy. I think a sharp “be quiet” can make a child stop. Be annoyed with them and show it. I’d definitely remove a screaming child from the garden if neighbours were out too. Children really do need to learn how to play and co exist with each other.

That is long enough.It is hideous. Bad enough if the child is already outside but to put it outside deliberately is awful.’

Children are just noisier today it seems. I do not know what the reason is. Maybe exposure to screens?

Putting your child outside in a safe environment when they are behaving irrationally is the best thing. Nothing for them to hurt themselves on. They can be observed calmly through the doors and allows them some fresh air. Worked well for us. Neighbours don’t mind and love the kids as they have grown up.

like I said, I am kind to my neighbours going through something similar and we have told them it will pass. We live in London, we have to put up with each other as we live practically on top of each other. I have another neighbour who plays the drums from time to time and a neighbour across the road plays the piano which I hear as I leave for work most days. Just day to day noises and so the odd kid crying isn’t going to bother me. I’d be more likely to ask them if they need a hand and a bottle of wine than to criticise them.

Are they noisier or are you older and more intolerant? 😜

But that makes it everyone else’s problem, which I find a bit strange, tbh.

i do my best to mitigate my condition as I understand that sadly I can’t avoid screaming children. But it would be nice if others were as thoughtful.

YANBU. I always brought screamers in. It teaches them to behave reasonably and consider others.

I don't think they are noisier... We just live in closer proximity to one another and they play out in the street less!

Two toddlers playing unattended is a problem. Having two toddler aged at the same time is another.

Only 2 tantrums each in their entire childhood? Move over Dr Spock!

Yeah i call bullshit

Tbf back in the day parents were stricter and rightly or wrongly children were punished for kicking off in public so learnt very early on not to do it.

Not saying that’s a great approach but that was how it was