To wonder how much of the 'penis portion' complaint is due to women on average needing less calories?

[Carla786]

The competitive undereating thread on here recently got me thinking: I haven't come across this 'penis portion' (men being served more than women) issue in my life, so I may be misunderstanding..

I can see it being sexist if the woman is being served a huge amount less, the man gets the nicest bits etc. But if it's more that both get a full serving but the man gets slightly more, maybe it's partly due to the host thinking (correctly) that the average woman might need slightly less?

Assuming the host is hosting grown adults, s/he doesn’t get to dictate whether a woman should eat fewer calories than a man

Absolutely zero.

I don’t make assumptions about the calorific or nutritional requirements of people I’ve invited to dinner. Do you?

When you use a recipe, how does the creator indicate to you the portion size? When it says serves four does that mean four men? Four women? Or six women but two men? Or one runner but eleven sedentary people?

Guests to my home help themselves to food.
If it’s something that requires plating, they receive a serve each and then people are free to have seconds or not, or adjust the size of the sides they select. I recognise that I know nothing of their requirements, that it’s not my business in any event, and that eating is for both nutrition AND pleasure. My guests are also free to regulate their eating for the rest of the day/week/year as they see fit.

It’s certainly not always true that men eat more than women - unless you’ve been told specifically that X eats a lot and Y prefers a smaller portion, I would expect all guests to be offered the same.

I have never got less than any male that I remember seeing, sure I will be told I have done because it appears women need other women to do their thinking for them

I mean, I give my husband more food on his plate because I know he will eat it. I don't do it to guests though and if we had people over for dinner then I would give everyone an equal amount, including DH.

When I serve myself and my husband I give him a larger portion of the main meal but a smaller portion of the pudding. I’m not joking. 😆

I agree with this.

I suppose I was thinking that in some cases, it might not be due to sexism so much as assuming women generally will want/need a bit less. I agree though that whatever the motive, it's overstepping to decide how much guests should eat.

My grandmother (who lived with me & my DM as a child and cooked for us for quite a long time) was the opposite of this : everyone was given lavish portions, while my grandfather was slender and had a small appetite. I know a lot of women of her generation (1930s) had a very different attitude to food though.

🤣

That's how it should be : people get given more or less if you know that's what they want, not otherwise.

On average though men need about 20% more. Individuals of course vary a lot, and the history shouldn't be overbearing.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/feb/23/is-it-true-that-men-need-to-consume-more-calories-than-women

I let guests serve themselves as does everyone else I know. Even if someone generally has a bigger appetite than others, how am I to know if they are more or less hungry on a particular day. One person may have had an huge lunch, another may have skipped lunch that day due to other activities etc, etc.

I haven't encountered this issue either - like you I more often encounter people serving everyone lavish portions. But generally the women will eat a bit less and are more likely to leave some on their plate, while the men might even want seconds.

I don't really think that giving women slightly smaller meal portions is a massive issue. Women do need fewer calories. But then of course a person's height and degree of activity play a role too, with a 5'2 woman likely needing less than a 5'8 woman, so in the end, it's easier to just give everyone the same amount.

When I host, I serve in a way that people serve themselves. I always cook more than I think is needed so there’s no awkwardness! The only time this has failed me was when a teenaged boy ate half a very large potato bake on his own.

I only tend to serve food for immediate family... and know their likes and dislikes. So DH will probably need more overall (but happy with extra potatoes), DD1 will want extra vegetables, DD2 isnt keen on some vegetables... and I need to lose weight! Then theres the variations like whose had sport that day, or ehose being curled up reading etc...

DH probably eats the most but needs it. Followed by DD2. (13yo).

"Penis Portions" to me js serving a msn whose done nothing more than a eoman whose run a marathom, just because, not taking into account known appetite variations.

I've never thought about this before. I always thought that men got more because they're usually many inches taller and many stone heavier. I'm very overweight these days, but when I was 8-9 stone (at five four) there's no way I would have expected to be served the same as a six-foot, 14-stone man. I couldn't have eaten it and it would have been a waste of food. (I'm talking about in people's homes. Restaurants obvs serve the same anount whoever orders.)

Even now, being hugely overweight, I'm still only five four and I don't think I could eat the same portion as a six-foot, 14-stone man. I'm overweight through grazing on the wrong thing, not because I can manage the same portions as the average man in one sitting.

Seems like pure biology and differing calorific needs to me. Not everything is about sexism.

I know I need fewer calories over a day than my husband or son, but I tend to eat one or two meals a day where they eat three and snack in between, so I don't necessarily need fewer calories at a meal. And I might not eat before a meal I've been invited to because I don't want to cause offense by struggling to eat what's been made. I hope people aren't judging me when they invite me over for being hungry, if what they give me is my first and last meal of the day!

I always though “penis portions” revered to men who thought they were entitled to more of the meat etc on a meal, ie the “good”’bits - it’s never the veg they expect more of. And they use the fact they need more calories as justification.

But they’d be better filling their plate with more potatoes or veg. And women who are still of an age to be menstruating actually need more (red) meat than the men so shouldn’t be having a smaller portion of it.

Sadly there are many men who think just because they have a penis they are entitled to the biggest and best looking portions of meat.

I let my guests serve themselves and that way they get what they want. And there are always leftover if they want more.

My husband is not from the uk and was puzzled by someone else deciding how much they would get on their plate.
We live in his country now and everybody decides how much they want and helps themselves.

I need more calories than my DH. I'm 6ft tall, very active, 7 months pregnant, and also still breastfeeding a toddler. Still get served teeny tiny portions at my MILs, whilst my DH gets has his plate piled high >:(

All of the men in my family out-eat the women by far. They are human dustbins and I do serve them bigger portions when I’m hosting.. as does all the other women in my family 🤣

I don’t really think it’s a sexist thing. I think it’s just a biological thing. Men do often require more calories.. it should mean women are under fed though.. and as a grown woman you should be able to say “please may I have a bit more?” 🤣

When do people experience “penis portions”? I don’t serve for guests and I don’t know anyone that does.
I think serving for guests, and then there being an expectation that if they don’t eat everything on their plate they’re being rude, is weird. “I’ll decide how much you want to eat, and if I’m wrong, you’re the rude one for not eating it all anyway”.

Over 60% of adults in the UK are overweight. More men than women are overweight, so if they are getting bigger portions it isn't doing them any favours.

Holding all other things constant, men need more calories than women. Therefore, it's not that surprising that people, either consciously or subconsciously, give men more food.

MIL does serve FIL and DH more than me and her, however she gives them massive portions, huge. She gives us normal sized generous portions. I have never gone hungry (and I have a good appetite) but would not be able to finish what she puts on the men’s plates…they do. She doesn’t give them the best bits or anything, just piles the plates high.