To wonder how much of the 'penis portion' complaint is due to women on average needing less calories?

[Carla786]

The competitive undereating thread on here recently got me thinking: I haven't come across this 'penis portion' (men being served more than women) issue in my life, so I may be misunderstanding..

I can see it being sexist if the woman is being served a huge amount less, the man gets the nicest bits etc. But if it's more that both get a full serving but the man gets slightly more, maybe it's partly due to the host thinking (correctly) that the average woman might need slightly less?

It is a hosting issue. When you are hosting, you serve the same portion to everybody..

God no that is rude. When you are hosting you put out a variety of dishes and everyone serves themselves whatever they want in whatever quantities they want.

No, it means the person doing the portioning deciding that by default, the women get less because they're women, and never taking into account anything else (although thanks, because I called it earlier on someone doing a "competitive athlete/exceptionally physical job" to try to justify it).

You deciding that you want less isn't penis portioning. Your husband trying to give you the same amount isn't penis portioning.

No that’s not what penis portioning means. You’re re-writing the historical origins and the reasons for it with an over lay of modernist propaganda.

The issue is more related to extended family and friends or restaurants who make judgements on how much they should serve someone purely based on sex.

Yes, and to explain this issue they have appropriated the term ´penis portioning’ which was never meant to describe this issue or for this circumstance.

I always thought it was more about this - giving the men more of the “best bits”, which is usually the meat, fish or other protein part of the meal.

Which is obviously wrong - as this poster says, woman and children actually need more iron (so red meat usually) than men.

I think it’s best to serve in a way that means everyone gets equal “best bits”, recognising that food is for pleasure as well as basic nutrition, and then can serve themselves things like potatoes and veg according to appetite and preference.

I find this comment so unintentionally hilarious that I'm just going to let it stand in its glory. Thank you, I needed that.

You should serve everyone roughly the same unless you know them well enough to know they eat much less or much more than usual. You certainly shouldn't take it that all the women want smaller portions than all the men. That assumption does seem sexist.

The ones that eat more can always conspire with the ones who eat less and swap plates. But the host should take everyone equally when it comes to the initial portions.

Unless you go round each person saying 'small, medium or large?' or something similar.

Penis portioning is part of working class history. Enjoy your blissful ignorance.

Keep going and I'll enjoy it far more. This is fantastic.

I might do that if I was surrounded by normal people, but there are far too many competitive and performative undereaters in both sides of my family to make this workable. I've shared some of the stories elsewhere. I can only imagine the scenes among some of them if we tried this...

Gawd they sound insufferable. Nobody is like that in my family. I'm the smallest eater but never make a fuss and if I can't finish my plate I shift up to someone who's finished and I know is a bigger eater and ask them if they fancy helping me.

I can't stand people talking about how little they eat. I'm in recovery for anorexia and even when I was really sick I'd never talk about that in front of others while eating.

My mum does sometimes shame me for eating though. I was helping myself to a little of each of a tray of dips the other week and she scolded 'make sure you leave some for portly male friend' like I was going to take a whole tray of dips meant for four people?!

I'm sorry you're going through that. Your mother can't be making your recovery easier.

OP - I just question whether the average host's decision to serve a female guest a smaller portion than a male guest often genuinely arises from considering (as you suggest) what the female guest wants rather than the host's own (possibly incorrect) judgement of the calorie intake she needs, or their (socially influenced) opinion on what size of portion a woman should eat.

Thank you. Yeah she doesn't mean it but she doesn't really understand the illness well. I'm much better now though thankfully x

It's Mumsnet, everything is a tool of the patriarchy here 😂

On a serious note, I'd just give up, some of these posters have come over from the original thread about competitive undereating and penis portions where they have been arguing that the patriarchy is keeping women thin and denying them food for two days already. This poster hasn't got any less rude, and as more than half of women in the UK are overweight, the patriarchy clearly isn't doing a very good job but they can't accept that.

One nutter was trying to prove, with zero actual proof of course, that the patriarchy was making women anaemic because they're too cowed to take equal portions of meat to men despite most women in the UK eating less meat than men by choice. You honestly couldn't make it up! It's like the oppression Olympics here most days.

Well that is by far my preference also, but 1) various meals are better plated, and 2) there's no overall issue with a simple difference of plated Vs self serve - the principles of provide enough for individuals to take seconds remains.

I haven't said anything about patriarchy, here or there. I've just been noting how rude, sexist and miserable it is to serve female guests less by default (while not considering any other variables like height or activity as you police your guests' calories), and sharing stories about my performative undereating relatives starting kitchen fires, cutting up dry Weetabix and orgasming over the time I was a size 16.

I can't think about patriarchy too, I'm too hungry.

Poor love. Just get some food then, it's not difficult.

It's incredible that people still can't understand that women eat smaller portions than men, not because their calorie intakes are being policed but because they are smaller and therefore have smaller stomachs.

having to eat the same size portions as my partner, who's a foot taller than me, did me no favours in terms of weight gain over many years. But it's surprisingly hard to get people to accept that it's perfectly OK for me to have a smaller portion of food as a smaller person (as my own choice).
Maybe people who find it sexist could direct their complaint to the NHS and experts who have decided that women's required calorie intake is less than mens' (or just find something else to be offended about).

It's far less incredible than the people who followed both that thread and this one and still don't understand that the point isn't about women overall generally requiring fewer calories, or people who prefer to eat less.

"while not considering any other variables like height or activity as you police your guests' calories" they did say this.

I'm taller than the average man and very active. I don't need less food than the average man, just because I'm female. I need the same or more, in some cases!

If a take away everything just gets put out as it comes and everyone helps themselves.

If i'm doing the cooking I always serve food to my guests using the "say when" way.

I hope you don't apply the same rules to guests.

I disagree.
Penis portioning is someone (host/restauranteur) deciding to serve a smaller portion to women.

Good grief, I'm glad I'm not your guest as it sounds like you'd make the decision on how much I'm allowed to eat and it would be less than my DH. Just for the record, I always eat more than him and I still weigh less than him.