To wonder how much of the 'penis portion' complaint is due to women on average needing less calories?

[Carla786]

The competitive undereating thread on here recently got me thinking: I haven't come across this 'penis portion' (men being served more than women) issue in my life, so I may be misunderstanding..

I can see it being sexist if the woman is being served a huge amount less, the man gets the nicest bits etc. But if it's more that both get a full serving but the man gets slightly more, maybe it's partly due to the host thinking (correctly) that the average woman might need slightly less?

My son always had a much bigger portion than me, as he needs more calories a day than me. I wouldn’t serve women less without asking or being requested. When my son’s gf comes for dinner, they serve themselves, but yes she eats a lot less than he does.

It is true that, on average, men need more calories than women. Nevertheless, I think that if I go out to a restaurant I should be served exactly the same amount as a man, given that I would be paying the same price.

At home things are rather different. I tend to serve everyone the same and then invite them to help themselves to seconds.

It is no surprise that my daughter’s boyfriend, who is 6’4”, always avails himself of that opportunity, especially when roast potatoes are concerned.

I eat less calories than my spouse over the course of the day , but a similar sized dinner. I don’t eat until midday but he eats yoghurt, nuts, seeds and fruit for breakfast - probably 500 calories worth.

He also eats a snack at night whereas I rarely do.

So dinner is often a similar size and if I’ve only had a small lunch I may even eat more at dinner. But if I ate what he ate over the day I’d be overweight. He isn’t overweight with a BMI of 20.

I don't know why people are repeating the average calorie requirements for men and women. That has nothing to do with the questions.

In another context, if you had two couples coming for dinner. One larger fatter couple, one smaller, thin couple. Would you serve the fatter couple less because the obviously 'need to cut down' and the thinner couple more because they 'need feeding up'?

Penis portions are about presumptions. You are 'presumed' to want need less because you are a women and this continues whether the woman is pregnant, underweight, breastfeeding etc or the man is overweight etc.

Also 20% difference is not massive on a plate. If it was only a 20% difference in portion size I think it wouldn't very noticeable or would be natural variation for serving. Penis portions are a substantial difference. 50% or so and usually the best part.

Does this mean that you would serve a 3 year old the same portion as a person who was 6ft 6 @Clonakilla ?

Shorter or more sedentary people require fewer calories but nobody serves short or lazy men less.

It's just sexism and shit hosting to serve your female guests less food because they're female. Yes you get a pass for people you know very well who prefer smaller portions but that's never actually what these people are arguing about even when they suddenly wheel out their convenient 7 foot rugby playing husbands and delicate 4 foot grandmothers to justify their shit and sexist hosting.

I just let people serve themselves. Most people seem to take around the same amount . It’s usually mostly the men who take seconds at Sunday roast types of meals, although I usually sneak an extra Yorkshire.

I guess in the days when there were more physically demanding jobs that were mostly done by men, there may have been a need to prioritise their calorific intake. If they were the main or sole earner, it was probably seen as a necessity to give them the most food. Perhaps this is where it stems from?

My mother is infamous for penis portions! My brother in law and my teenage nephews are always served first and always the largest by some way - think 2 pieces of steak vs 1 for the women …. It’s so obvious it’s laughable …. I called her out on it at a recent Sunday lunch and said I wasn’t aware the men in the room had had a long day working down the mine or fields to justify the added calorie requirement and she got quite uppity about it 🤣

I saw penis portion in another thread the other day, and I thought it meant really small portions that you have when you’re on a diet and you’re telling yourself they’re actually bigger than they are 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That is brilliant.

We put food in serving dishes on the table and guests serve themselves. As a guest, I’d hate to have my meal ‘plated up’. I have a small appetite and a large portion of food just would not get eaten. My husband eats twice as much as I do. But he’s taller and heavier than I am with a higher muscle mass and BMR.

When it comes to serving them puddings, it’s very likely my female friends will say things like ‘just a tiny slice/portion’ whatever, because they are full and yes, they eat less than the men.

I don’t think ive come across this personally

but as you say its very individual, I've been counting calories to lose weight and dh and i are only about 50 calories apart with how many calories we should be eating

At home, I'm not served less, but I serve my partner more as he's a 6ft4 lump who eats more than I do.
If we go round either of our parents he gets a bigger plateful because he'll eat more.
It's never something I'd be upset about at home. In a restaurant, yes if our portion sizes differed because we're paying the same amount. But he just generally orders more food anyway 😂

I think it’s one of those things that is really hard to imagine /visualise if you haven’t been regularly exposed to it.

For example , when doing a roast chicken , the man/men/boys always get the breast , the girls/women get the legs and wings. Breast only if there’s enough left.Men/boys also get served first. When we’re talking portion sizes (especially if the quantity is limited) we are talking plateful vs being able to count all the items on the plate on one hand.

It’s an incredibly hard habit to get out of , if you’ve been raised like that .

I’ve definitely come from a ‘men have a bigger portion’ line of women, I give DP a bit more because he has a physical job and tends not to eat lunch and my 15 will eat his meal and half an hour later be smashing through 2 bowls of cereal.

If I was hosting I’d generally give everyone the same with seconds available if they want it. At the same time, I have never in my real life come across a woman complaining she is served less than a man! This seems to be another one of those MN things people get riled up about.

When I was a kid, in my family, the men usually had hard physical roles and the women were generally sahm. So of course the men required more food. Although I do have one male relative who even when he retired from the physical role, carried on eating huge amounts and is now obese! But he was slim all his life until then.

I have always eaten less than my male partners. Therefore I wouldn’t ever be offended if they were served more than me. In fact I don’t want to be given a humongous portion as it overwhelms me. And I am not a competitive under eater. I’m actually overweight. I think there’s more important issues that need addressing than portion sizes!

I think it is probably based in the idea that men need more calories and some men will have done very physical jobs.

But the reality is that across a whole day 500 extra calories isnt much. He might already have had a bigger breakfast and lunch and a snack.

The bit that annoys me most is when the man gets the best and biggest bit of meat. Give him his fair share and fill him uo on potatoes if he is still hungry. I need all the iron for my periods.

That's really unfair. Is there any way you could raise it with her?

If I’m cooking a meal that is pre-served, I serve myself, my SIL and MIL smaller portions than my husband, brother and FIL because we are smaller and eat less.
I don’t cook for anyone else very often but I tend to just cook a meal where it’s all on the table to serve themselves.

I've seen it a lot on some threads here and I was curious, especially as I've not come across it myself.
I do think there's links between food & sexism (Gloria Steinem has a good essay from the early 1980s about various cultural taboos on women eating stuff like meat & milk and less extreme ones) in some cases but I'm not convinced how often this is the case with 'penis portions'.

I've never heard of this before, but I eat much less than he does. My boys eat a lot, and I'm not sure where all the food ends up.
Thats just a difference. So what

MIL serves penis portions. Including when I was breast feeding.

But then they also sat at a dinner table that faced a TV on the wall, and the men also sat there being served by MIL without so much as a please or thank you.(She brought FIL pudding, and all he said was "I need a spoon"...)

We always had self serve in my house, but it also went along with basic manners. I've never found penis portions not accompanied by other sexist behaviours.

Whenever we go to my ILs for lunch, I come away starving yet DH will have eaten loads. I’m always desperate to get home and get the dinner on, and DH will say “You’re not cooking are you? After that massive lunch we had at Mum’s? I couldn’t possibly eat again today!”

Well I could, after my thin slice of ham and garnish.

If you've not come across it, perhaps take the accounts of people who have.

YANBU. On average a man needs more calories than a women. But obviously you can’t assume. For example, exDP weighed significantly more than me (taller and big build) but he was incredibly sedentary whereas I was the opposite so I ate more than him. I was slim. He was certainly overweight and probably obese.