To wonder how much of the 'penis portion' complaint is due to women on average needing less calories?

[Carla786]

The competitive undereating thread on here recently got me thinking: I haven't come across this 'penis portion' (men being served more than women) issue in my life, so I may be misunderstanding..

I can see it being sexist if the woman is being served a huge amount less, the man gets the nicest bits etc. But if it's more that both get a full serving but the man gets slightly more, maybe it's partly due to the host thinking (correctly) that the average woman might need slightly less?

The only time I became fat was when I started eating same portions as my husband who is over a foot taller than me.

I know my guests well enough that I serve them how much they will eat plus a bit extra.

I don’t serve up when we have visitors- it all goes in serving dishes and people help themselves. I wouldn’t presume to know how much anyone wants, also some won’t eat certain items. I have been served a tiny portion in the past, while the DHs had plates piled up. I was silently aghast, this was by a friend the same age.

It would only work if you were serving ' the average man' and ' the average woman' for a meal. Since they are averages and don't actually exist, people should, as previously pointed out, offer people equal shares or what they know they'd prefer.

What someone will eat at an individual meal depends on a lot of factors, not limited to their size, activity level, hunger, physical condition, time they previously ate, etc.

The thing about a penis portion is it is given purely on the basis of sex, not taking into account individual needs.

The thing about women needing less than men on average is that this difference is at the overall population level and shouldn't be automatically applied at the individual level. On average women are smaller than men and on average have lower metabolic calorie requirements but around a family gathering there is likely to be at least one woman with higher calorie requirements - perhaps she is taller than average, perhaps she has strong muscles - and there are likely to be at least one male present with lower than average requirements.

If anyone present is overweight and the "protien" element of the meal is plentiful enough, the overweight people male or female should have a more generous serving of the protien as that is the "filling" element that will enable them to not need the carbs and fat they may be trying to avoid and that shouldn't be doled out differently on the basis of sex.

Reqlly the whole thing about penis portions is mainly about how nasty and controlling it is for anyone to be deciding how much food anyone else (adult and capable of rational choices) is "allowed" except in a situation where money is tight and food is scarce. It is totally fine for Aunty May to say "just one slice of chicken for me, I can't manage as much as Uncle Bob" but it is not fine for the person doing the serving to assume by default that cousin June should therefore get the same mini-serving just because she is female without reference to her specific needs.

Yes, I think this must be the basis of the ‘penis portion’. The average woman needs fewer calories than the average man. ‘Average’.

When we’ve got ‘guests’ (including our adult daughters and their other halves) then everyone gets served the same.

If it’s just my husband and me then I give him 60% of whatever I’ve made and I have the remaining 40%. Or I’ll give him
the larger of the two chicken breasts or whatever. He’s 6ft tall and over 14 stone. I’m 5’4 and 9st12. If I ate what he eats I’d put on weight.

The title of your thread is insulting and sexist. We wouldn't use the word vulva to talk disparagingly about women so let's not do it about men,

And if women are eating the same portions as men it explains why most are overweight

Another thought. Does it come from a time when the man was the breadwinner, doing hard manual labour (eg in the fields/ down the mines/ whatever). The family needed him well-fed enough to be able to graft - otherwise the whole family would starve.

My husband generally gives me a slightly fuller plate as I eat a bit more and am overall larger, even though he demonstrably has a bigger penis.

When my nephew was 10, my mum served me up a tiny dinner and him a normal sized adult dinner on the basis that he's male.

It's not surprising that a 15 stone man eats more than an 8 stone woman. I give my DH bigger portions, but he's much taller and heavier than me. For guests I let them serve themselves making sure there is plenty to go around.

If you are talking about restaurants if they give smaller portions to women it should be a cheaper price otherwise portions should be the same.

What a peculiar thing to waste your time thinking about. Who cares?

And @daisychain01 is right.

I don’t like being given the same size portion as others as have a smaller appetite. Women need fewer calories is a fact. However I’d usually serve a smaller portion so people can have seconds.

According to the NHS website, women usually need less calories than men.

The recommended daily calorie intake for the average person is:

• 2,500kcal for men
• 2,000kcal for women

But, everyone has their own preferences. 🤷‍♀️

I suppose I was thinking that in some cases, it might not be due to sexism so much as assuming women generally will want/need a bit less. Making assumptions about women (or men) is sexism.

I do it with family because I know how much they all tend to eat but I wouldn't do it with guests.

The food thing that winds me up is when people try to give DS2 a giant portion and then seem surprised he doesn't finish it...he's 6 he's not going to eat that much!

I've had it happen over the years (in my 60s) and politely point out that I have same appetite as my husband. My MIL was notorious for given me tiny portions like she had. And then she'd watch me eat every mouthful. Very strange relationship with food.

Not if it's based in biology, necessarily.

There are many assumptions we may make (that women require feminine hygiene products, or a bin in the bathroom to dispose of them), or that men have more upper body strength, which aren't sexist. They're not always correct for individuals, but it's not sexist to assume them - it's a natural conclusion one may come to based on the average.

In this case, women do require on average 20% fewer calories, so it's not a sexist assumption - but it is potentially a wrong one on an individual level, as they may require more, or simply want more.

I think a pp hit the nail on the head when they said that penis portions are probably more about men getting the best cuts of meat, and largest portions of it, despite women requiring red meat more than men do.

I serve my husband and son bigger portions (usually, unless it’s something like a chicken Kyiv where they’re individual portions of the same size). They’re both tall and muscular, me and my daughter are both short and don’t really exercise. They need more food than we do 🤷🏼‍♀️

I put food on plates on an everyday basis, DH and DS get more than DD and me as I know us all well and the amount we want to eat, if we have guests I use the serving dishes.
The term penis portion seems to mainly have been used in the past when some poor women has been served a tiny bit of turkey and one potato while her DH has a plate piled with food at a family dinner. it's about enforced food restriction, not about the average women needing less calories than the average man.

Again I think this is cultural. My friend at school, if you went to her house for dinner, you'd get 2 fish fingers and a handful of chips. The boys and men would get a portion of cod.

All the men in my family are at least 6.2. Yes I will be assuming they are eating more. But at big family meals, they are usually self serve.

When just us at home, I always serve my husband the biggest portion. My 11 year old boy also gets more than me and my daughter, but that’s just because we know he will eat it.

But as with so many things there’s as much variation within the sexes than between them as the article makes clear - it’s so individual that almost anything based on sex based averages is meaningless. Maybe there’s some cases for looking at it when we need ‘a standard’ but in many things we’d be far better off looking at a population average instead.

While the 'average man' might need more than the 'average woman' it is not right to give a woman less than a man. I have higher calorie requirements than my husband as I am breastfeeding and have a far more active job (he is only about 2 inches taller). I am trying to gain weight and he is trying to lose it, so I eat far more than him but most people would guess it is the other way around.
Also it is not just about nutritional requirements! Sometimes you're more hungry than others or you really like that particular meal. Can you imagine how infuriating it would be to be left hungry when men at the table have more food than you. Better to let other people manage their own weight. It's not Ike you're going to keep women slim by serving them a bit less at your house, you'll just annoy them!

I'm a big fan of putting everything in the middle of the table and letting people help themselves to food. Feels a much more communal way of eating anyway and people just take what they want.