To wonder how much of the 'penis portion' complaint is due to women on average needing less calories?

[Carla786]

The competitive undereating thread on here recently got me thinking: I haven't come across this 'penis portion' (men being served more than women) issue in my life, so I may be misunderstanding..

I can see it being sexist if the woman is being served a huge amount less, the man gets the nicest bits etc. But if it's more that both get a full serving but the man gets slightly more, maybe it's partly due to the host thinking (correctly) that the average woman might need slightly less?

Then why wouldn't you just give everyone the same amount based on what you think the women would eat and the men can help themselves to more if needed as well? How do you know if the man had a large meal at lunch and the woman skipped lunch and went for a swim before they came. I'd be annoyed if a host gave me less food than men just based on size.

It seems to me that this is about women being given SMALL portions, not smaller portions than the men. Most average-sized women I know do eat less than the average-sized men, but if hosting I would give him a very-generous plate and her a generous plate, making it clear that there is plenty more and seconds are encouraged. I wouldn't give anyone short rations because they are female. THAT would be enraging!

Yes, that would work very well. I never host, so I hadn't really thought it all the way through!

Posted my comment above, at 22.49, before seeing yours that I'm replying to here.

Though I won't be wasting food by giving the women, who don't finish what they're given anyway, even MORE FOOD to match the men's portions, who do finish their meals, just so they can throw it in the bin while declaring me the Uber feminist.

It's incredible that people still can't understand that women eat smaller portions than men, not because their calorie intakes are being policed but because they are smaller and therefore have smaller stomachs.

Some people consider it rude to clear their plate completely and may leave the same small amount of food if you give them even more? Not all women are smaller, or have smaller stomachs. The only reason I’d eat a smaller portion than a man is if I’d been given a smaller portion than a man.

I’m a 5”1 47 yr old women size 8 , husband 6”1 . I eat the same portions as him always have . I’m very active as is he and we rarely snack. We eat twice a day and fast from 7pm to mid day. I have always eaten a large evening meal and it really annoys me to see my husband served more.

This is the thing. It’s only one possible variable - the size of the person/ whether they’re male or female etc

The correct course is of course to make it clear there’s choice and to please have seconds if wanted! But yes I’d start by giving everyone what I thought was a generous portion for a woman, and then let anyone who wants more reserve themselves - with encouragement!

Penis portions are more extreme than this - in my experience when visiting DH's family home he would get a big full plate and I would get a tiny bit of everything, like a child's portion. I never experienced it anywhere else - it was really strange!

Your place sounds very stressful to me if you're going to dish up less food for me than my husband based on your incorrect assumption that he needs more calories than I do.

Maybe for you. But I'm the healthy near 10 stone near 60 woman who needs more calories than my husband. Yet again - don't make unfounded assumptions. Just dish up the same for all and have some extra for those that are still hungry or, much much better, let everyone serve themselves which is what I have done - including for children from the age of about 5.

Another good reason for letting people serve themselves. Some women eat less, some are competitive undereaters, some women eat more, some haven't had breakfast or even lunch, some have. You just don't know so let them serve themselves.

The dishes you use to serve can often be the dishes you use to cook. And when they're not there is so little washing up required that it's really no hardship.

Perhaps some people are leaving food on their plates because they don't like it! However, given your comment around self-serving - "oh I don't want to be greedy am I taking too much!?" - it sounds like you have some competitive undereaters at your table.

It was actually me who first mentioned "penis portions" on the other thread and it was literally just shorthand for this - a particular type of person (almost always the mum or Mil of one half of a couple) who is watching their own weight/competitively undereats and assumes that the other women will be doing the same. So they serve a small portion to the women (not a large portion for the women and an XL for the men).

It was a thing when I was growing up in Germany and my dad was usually served more meat. But I haven’t come across it in my adult life, thank god.

I had to re-read three times to discover what a ‘penis portion’ was. I definitely couldn’t compute you were talking about food sizes.

Think it’s time for bed, clearly tired.

I think it is a mixture.

Dm used to insist dbro needed more calories. I had no problems with him being given more chip, an extra sausage, more sandwiches etc

What I did object to was when treat foods were shared out to give him more. For example if she bought cherries. This was a once a year treat, and always carefully counted out so we all had the same. Then she started dividing so it would be 5 each except he would get 10, and then she'd give him her portion as well, so he'd get three times what I got.
Ot a packet of 5 donuts, rather than being one each and one spare to be divided equally between us would be one for me, then he would get three - his, hers and the spare. When I objected and said didn’t we share the spare got told off for being selfish for being mean as he needed more calories.

I remember the time I was asked to serve a portion of something. I arranged the plates in front of me and was carefully going round to put one on each plate in turn to divide it equally. He took one look and stormed off shouting "Margaret's serving it unfairly". Dm appeared and was rather bemused, so she turned to him and asked what was wrong. "She's being totally unfair," he shouted. "She's giving us all the same!"

That's when it gets unfair.

Sorry but, by 'penis portion', I thought you meant food portions of a certain 'size' (in inches LOL)

My MIL does this and it takes the fucking piss tbh

Haha me too 🤣 but there is method behind this…he has a bigger appetite than me but I have a bigger sweet tooth

If I host people I let people serve themselves and make sure there is plenty. When cooking for just my family I give my husband more than me as he needs more calories he exercises more than me and gets hungrier, he is 9 inches taller than me as well. I would just put on so much weight if we ate the same I have to watch what I eat always have done.

At home I would naturally serve everyone including teenagers much larger portions than me because I have a small appetite and I know how much I want, but out for meals, everyone should get the same amount that they have paid for!!

It’s not something I’ve noticed, but I wouldn’t be offended, I never eat the same as my husband, nor indeed my teenage sons. They need a lot more calories than me. DH is a good few stone heavier than me (healthy still!) and while one son is smaller I remember googling the calories they need while growing, it’s a lot!!! Just basic science surely.

Many of us in the U.K., including me, let guests help themselves. I really dislike anyone ‘plating up’ for me, especially a SiL who once gave me a huge plateful of one of her national dishes that included a lot of very fatty meat. I felt 🤮 just at the look of far too much, far too fatty, while knowing that she’d be offended if I didn’t eat nearly all of it.

Worst for me was school lunch on the day we went swimming. I was always starving afterwards, and it was fish and chips, best lunch of the week. But the teacher doling it out always gave far more chips to the boys! 🤬