AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

[Dontbeconspicuous]

On a train home from work. Girl came and sat next to me (looked around 18-22) started scrolling TikTok at mid-volume. I politely asked “excuse me do you have any headphones?” She said she didn’t so I asked if she would turn the volume down so we didn’t all have to listen.

That lasted around 30 seconds before she started again. After another 5-10 minutes I asked again, “excuse me could you turn the volume down so we don’t all have to hear it”, she just looked at me blankly, made a quick phone call then carried on scrolling at an even louder volume. Loads of other people in the carriage but no one said anything. I didn’t bother again as it was now clear what the outcome would be.

How have we got to the point where someone can have their antisocial behaviour pointed out to them twice, but just carry on regardless? When did people become so brazen?

PS I don’t want to hear “just bring your own headphones” because that doesn’t address the complete lack of respect for other people.

I do what your DH does! If they say anything I just say their behaviour invited it as clearly wasn’t private or just for them 😊

This is good but brave. Curious to know what response you get?!

It varies, @Dontbeconspicuous, some
people turn the sound down, some get arsey. I don’t get antagonistic though, I am a short, grey haired, middle aged woman, and tbh tend these days to play on that. I’m INCREDIBLY nice about it, all “now I know you won’t have realised how loud it is” and “ooh it’s so nice to have a chance to chat to people isn’t it?” and unrelentingly cheery, and act all confused on those occasions when they do get annoyed. So many people seem to think middle aged women are thick, fine, I will act like I don’t know what they are talking about! It’s entirely a ploy to get them to behave better, like talking to teenagers about the best way to get marks off clothes when asking them to not put their feet in the seats and getting ‘excited’ at them about talking laundry techniques. One day I am sure someone will get properly unpleasant, but so far I’ve managed to judge it ok, and I do avoid the people who genuinely seem unstable. I think the fact that I actually am someone who will happily chat with complete strangers (and often do) might help!

Because they in turn were brought up by inconsiderate twats they see it as fine

window open
mobile out

I don't think the use for of shameless here was to denigrate a young woman. It would apply equally to a boy or man who behaved in this way. It's behaviour which doesn't fall within the acceptable norms. It's not about making her feel ashamed. TBH, I agree with the poster. It's an all too frequent example of how some people have no idea how to behave in a public setting.

Thought of this thread today

Sitting in a courtyard of a bistro (chain bistro) in a city in the south east, woman sits down, youngish (although everyone is young compared to me) nicely turned out, proceeded to have loud fairly long phone calls detailing how you can get diazepam and other medications very easily, cheap flight to Albania, private doctor very cheap, pharmacies very easy to buy from, trailing up and down a stretch of roads somewhere, presumably still Albania, because they dont have an electronic system like the UK so you can buy some in every one or something, asking about the other persons current coke habits, saying she cant care for herself very well but can be a carer for someone else.

Nice.

I had someone loudly whistling out of tune in waitrose today. It was very irritating and made me think of this thread.

Yeah that's exactly the same

No they aren’t?!

I’ve had apple phones pretty much since they first came out….. never ever owned a set of apple ear phones!

I didn't say it was the same. Are you usually so sneery?

As you usually so gaslighting?

Lol - that’s a bit of a leap