AIBU to be astounded at people’s shamelessness?

[Dontbeconspicuous]

On a train home from work. Girl came and sat next to me (looked around 18-22) started scrolling TikTok at mid-volume. I politely asked “excuse me do you have any headphones?” She said she didn’t so I asked if she would turn the volume down so we didn’t all have to listen.

That lasted around 30 seconds before she started again. After another 5-10 minutes I asked again, “excuse me could you turn the volume down so we don’t all have to hear it”, she just looked at me blankly, made a quick phone call then carried on scrolling at an even louder volume. Loads of other people in the carriage but no one said anything. I didn’t bother again as it was now clear what the outcome would be.

How have we got to the point where someone can have their antisocial behaviour pointed out to them twice, but just carry on regardless? When did people become so brazen?

PS I don’t want to hear “just bring your own headphones” because that doesn’t address the complete lack of respect for other people.

I didnt commute in the 80s (too young) but i did go on buses or trains fairly regularly and people with stereos or ghetto blasters were not regular occurences. And certainly not multiples of them , in one train carriage.
whereas now its not unusual to be able to hear multiple people's media - it could be 3 people with "leaky" headphones, 1 person without headphones, 2 people on speakerphone etc...all in a confined space!

That'll be me looking for whatever I need to press/tap/swipe to turn the f***g thing off. 😉

This isn’t a new behaviour but it does drive me nuts. DH and I having been calling it ‘being a bus chav’ for years (yes I know mn hates the word chav).

If either of us briefly put the sound on our phones at home on the sofa or in bed, we get told off by the other for being a bus chav.

I actually don’t know how people watch as much TikTok as they do, how is there that much time in the day when it’s suitable to have the sound on your phone!

@HotRootsAndNaughtyToots I've seen plenty of older people having conversations on speaker phone with the volume high. Very irritating indeed.

Yeah it's definitely not just young people. Some of the worst behaviour I've encountered has been in the 50+ age group. Like the woman who told me to move out of the way in Seville cathedral, because apparently I'd been standing in one place for too long and she wanted to take a photo.

(I replied in my best Mongolian that I didn't understand her, rude bastard.)

YANBU. When I see this behaviour I usually say something if I think it's safe to do so. A few years ago that would've worked the vast majority of the time. Nowadays either a full mouthful or 'complies for a couple of mins then decides to be a PITA again' seems to be far more common.

Remember the good old days when youths played music on ghetto blasters on the bus?

It’s annoying but so are old people who punch endless text messages and their phone makes a click or beep sound for every letter they type

drives me mad

It’s bloody human rights - everyone has the right to be as twatty as they like.
And CCTV works against normal people - if you threatened anyone nowadays you’d be in court being fined.

Bus Chav is brilliant😂

Was on a train from Bedford to London last week and there were a couple of lads doing this and it was bloody annoying. Fairly elderly lady asked them politely to turn it down. The response was ‘oh fuck off grandma’ while smirking at each other

her response was quite something. She leapt up with a ‘what did you fucking say to me you little shit? You want to fucking make something of this?’ With a full on gangster style, wide eyed lunatic look. Right up to them and in their faces. They went absolutely white and silent and left the carriage. Was brilliant!

not an approach I’d have the nerve for but pretty awesome.

Perhaps it will stop when eventually "everyone" is doing this and the cacophony will be such that even the CF's will be forced to wear headphones to hear anything, lol.

Bravo that woman!

It’s not a strange description in any way. Most normal people, when having their poor behaviour pointed out would feel ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to experience shame. Shame is a societal tool for keeping life’s selfish dickheads from inflicting their inconsiderate behaviour on others.

I can’t believe you tried to turn it into a feminist issue. This is a case of an arrogant “main character” twat who was being inconsiderate to those around her. Or do you think that women (and yes, even young women 😂) aren’t accountable for their own behaviour?
Actually I take it back, I CAN believe it having read some of the shite some people on this site come out with …but it’s still ridiculous.

Yes, this. It’s a real shame because I bet that it was annoying for a lot of other people too and OP had already taken the bravest step by being the first to speak up. All they had to do was agree and back her up a little.

The more these selfish irritants realise that they’re in the minority, the more hesitant they’ll be to inflict themselves on everyone in the future.

I don’t think it’s just young adults who’ve been raised with technology. I’ve noticed older people doing this.
I feel like there are just selfish twats in all walks of life, and as soon as they got a whiff that they could get away with their inconsiderate behaviour in public they took advantage of the opportunity.

I think it was always thus but the difference now is people won't call it out. If everyone nearby had backed you up OP she would have stopped. No one is brazen enough to stand up to an angry mob. We are all afraid these days and our fear empowers entitled arseholes.

We have a designated ‘quiet room’ for breaks at work, I go in and read my book in a comfy chair. The amount of people who ignore the sign to watch TikTok, have phone calls or loudly eat crisps is astounding.

Due to a heady mix of frustration and wine I once asked someone if their phone came in other volumes.

You were a bit unreasonable to tackle her about TikTok. Was it really affecting you so much that you needed to do that? Would you have done the same to a young man or would you have found some way to endure the trip, perhaps gnashing your teeth in silent fury?

i drove my van to the top
of a hill today, always been a quiet spot for the last 40 years I’ve been going.
chair out, kettle on and relax in the sun. 2 cars pull up, 8 people get out shouting and screaming. Put the music on fill
blast and dance around the car park.
Man gets out from his van in the corner, asks them to turn it down, then starts waving a knife around. 2 cars leave, man continues cooking. I am shocked,WTAF

😆

Its time to reintroduce the stocks for bus and train chavs

Stocks/pillory for people who do this is a superb idea. I politely ask people to please use headphones, the only people who've reacted badly to me asking are the older ones!

Does anyone ever say anything to them? Or at least complain to HR?