To think every woman should have at least £20,000 in savings she can access independently?

[AmusedPlumMember]

I’m going to be quite direct here.

I personally think every woman should aim to have at least £20,000 in savings that she can access independently, whether that’s in an ISA or another account. For me, it’s about having a level of financial security and not being completely reliant on anyone else, even in a committed relationship. I know that won’t be achievable for everyone at all times but as a principle it feels important.

AIBU to think that’s just sensible or am I being unrealistic?

Completely out of touch. I’m a low income woman with student debt. I don’t even have 5% if that in my savings

I had an 8k bonus from work last month. I put it into my pension…my dc have no idea about it. Why should I have spent it on them? They are fine

At almost 40 I have just got to the point where I can put away £100pm so might have £20k by 55 if nothing crops up before then.

My money would always go first to benefit DC’s but then I have always had access to all family money, savings and investments so no need to squirrel away money.

Hmm. Money means nothing if you’re wanting to private rent and no landlord will accept you. If you have a mortgage and have 20k in the bank that’s very different and you have a good amount for emergencies.

Many women could never squirrel away that much.

You're not allowed to have savings over 16k on universal credit (that's never been increased in line with inflation for 13yrs which is another problem brewing). Any savings over 6k mean your universal credit is reduced, how would a woman explain that to her partner?

You left out the bit about a pink unicorn being a must-have essential for every woman, OP.

If your DC’s needed the money for a special school trip, driving lessons or additional money for Uni, would you still put it in your pension?

This.

In an ideal world, I agree with you, but it's wildly out of touch.

20k does not = financial independence… especially not in the current climate

lol

YANBU but sadly we don’t live in la la land

I agree the UC thresholds make things much more complicated. I don’t think it’s something that would be possible or even appropriate in situations like that. I was thinking more generally about the principle of having some level of independent financial security where circumstances allow, rather than something that applies in every situation.

@AmusedPlumMember i have always had my own savings, as does my dh. We also have joint savings. But I’m very aware we are in a privileged position. I bought a new car last month, my friend said to me “how did you get your dh to come round to that idea?” I had to politely tell her it wasn’t decision with my own money, she couldn’t quite get her head around that. A lot of families pool everything.

The best way to financial independence is a job.

If we were that broke and it was a decision between boosting my pension or paying for a trip we can’t afford. I would boost my pension yes.

How do you think women on low income/UC or financially abused women will feel reading your post, knowing that 20k in savings would be beyond their wildest dreams?

I can't decide if you're just out of touch or if you're being deliberately goady.

Do parents really have to be sacrificing everything to their children until the bitter end? Even at the expense of their own future security?

I’m financially dependent on my dp.
All of my money comes from him.
We have a great relationship and he has supported me through 25 years of disability.
Should I be asking him for money specifically to put into savings in case I ever need to leave him? Or doing it in secret, hiding it from him?

I don’t think £20k would be enough to start over anyway, seems like you just plucked that figure out the sky. As others have said, even that is unattainable for a lot of people.

There’s nothing more amusing than watching a clueless OP try and back pedal so much 🤣

I don’t think you have a clue about the real lives of most women OP so perhaps keep your stealth boasts/personal suggestions to yourself.

Wonderful in principle. Impossible and wildly unrealistic in practise. And not just women - everyone.

More important (and achievable) however is that nobody gives up their financial independence; having a job and the ability to earn future money is far more important to stop becoming trapped in a partnership or left in all sorts of financial trouble if the relationship breaks down.

I don't think you understand how insulting this concept is to the husband in the sort of relationship I've described.

Everyone thinks about finances differently and couples manage finances differently. You can't just say all women should have individual financial security, when they operate in a couple who has joint financial security. This effectively means that resources are being withheld from the husband. All animals are equal. Except the pigs.

Finances are often a finite resource. £20k ring fenced does prevent making shared decisions such as I described. Since in the real world we have to prioritise how much we save and how much we spend and how that money gets spent eventually. "Sorry love, we both saved for 5 years, but that money is mine because that's what I decided. We'll save for the next five years for 'our' money and we'll decide how to spend that together"

It makes very little sense since their assets are legally joint due to their marriage. Unless they are jointly financially planning for the husband to become financially abusive in the future? "Yes love we've been married for 30 years and supported each other through births, deaths, illness, stress, but you never know. One day you might turn on me"

It's a good idea in principle to be financially independent. But £20k is a lot, and plenty of people won't have that.
If you have kids you have to justify holding that for yourself instead of spending it on, or saving it for, them.
If you're married and your husband has less or you're roughly equal you'd need double as half would be his when you divorce.

I think the principle is sound, but actually what you're saying is everyone should have the means to escape from a difficult situation or a safety net in case of redundancy/death of partner/sudden disability etc. This shouldn't be income dependent where only the rich can free themselves from suffering. Instead we should support the social funding that is there to catch people. Rather than stigmatize it and make it as hard as possible to claim we should be proud to build a safety net around ourselves.

You can be as direct as you like. Although ideal, for many women, this is completely unachievable. Think women in MW jobs? Women fleeing DA where access to funds has been cut off?

There are so many other situations where having access to a 20K buffer isn’t possible.