To think every woman should have at least £20,000 in savings she can access independently?

[AmusedPlumMember]

I’m going to be quite direct here.

I personally think every woman should aim to have at least £20,000 in savings that she can access independently, whether that’s in an ISA or another account. For me, it’s about having a level of financial security and not being completely reliant on anyone else, even in a committed relationship. I know that won’t be achievable for everyone at all times but as a principle it feels important.

AIBU to think that’s just sensible or am I being unrealistic?

The problem is the mobile phone and iPads etc ps4 all came along and now addiction to scrolling and gaming has overtaken a generation. Doing useful things like sewing a button or clearing a gutter or in some cases even cooking a basic meal is too much like having to concentrate- goldfish brains and angry addicted kids - agh. Ok not ALL kids but so many. It’s hard for parents to stand against a system that’s now become so entrenched in our children’s lives .

I don’t think it’s unachievable for most women, it depends one whether you choose to spend or save. What’s not good is today’s view that it’s ok to get into huge debt to have what you want - holidays/ insta-home/piles of toys/latest fashions/ expensive car/wedding - rather than saving for it

Yes there’s financial pressure when you’re starting out in life, but stop buying stuff you don’t need!

I’m not saying that some people aren’t struggling but the benefit system does help protect them. But in my circles I don’t see people who couldn’t save something each month to get a decent safety net

i would argue that it is achievable for most women. I have been a single parent for 15+ years and I have it, but I have limited holidays and an old car and always save rather than get into debt

Plenty of people have nothing left when the bills and other essentials are paid for. That is far from unusual these days.

I hear a lot of people moaning about the cost of living crisis but I honestly don’t see it in my circles. The people around me that moan have fresh tattoos, nails and beauty done, go to multiple festivals, have pets. I think a lot of people like moaning.

Yes I know there are vulnerable people in society that are struggling but there are lots of people that moan just out of habit and don’t make good financial decisions

When you are starting out, especially with kids in nursery, you can’t have it all straight away, it takes years to become comfortable

I think women should understand finance, ensure they understand their financial rights in divorce and so on. I also think we need more awareness around the implications of giving up work to bring up children on career, money, pensions. In addition be educated, have a reasonable set of skills to earn well and be financially independent. Running away money is not always achievable and not as useful without the above.

£20,000 is ridiculously high for that sort of buffer. For the average person it’s a year’s take home pay, more or less. You don’t need that if everything goes tits up. A couple of grand to get you out of an emergency and give you space to find a new place/job etc, would really help most people and be a lot more realistic. I wouldn’t know what to do with £20k!

I can fully appreciate the way we are brought up in our family can greatly influence the mindset about these things. But we do separate from family eventually. Whilst I had the ambition or motivation, I didn’t know where to go anymore than the average person. I was state educated so no privilege there and my family were pretty useless with money. They taught me zero. I knew I wanted to have a career because I was bright and told I should go to university. But I think it was when I came across an advert about a PEP in a magazine at work and thought that sounds like a good idea so I signed up. Inspired by that, I read newspapers and books to look up the fund values and understood more and more over time. Those things were available to everyone. The internet arrival and digital investment platforms were game changers and now social media and free resources makes it a lot easier. I don’t think I’m being flippant. I’m just saying what my experience is. I appreciate it might be the circles that people move in. But I wasn’t working in finance - I worked in a software house! So I don’t think my circumstances were that conducive to knowing where to look.
I guess I just have the drive and motivation to find out and I notice opportunities. I research them and then I take them I’ve also tried a financial advisor for a pension at one point and lost so much money it made me even more determined to do it myself. So I empathise there. I’ve also made quite a few mistakes and had lots of learning on the way but I figure it out. I’m no expert and with the things I know niw I wish I’d invested ALOT more. I think people have a personal responsibility to a large extent to generate their own income and wealth. It’s a mindset though and some people will always think it’s an area they are not capable of understanding.

I remember at my lowest point financially with no money at all left I found a £10 on the ground near the local petrol station. There was no one obviously looking for it so it seemed like a gift from the gods. I felt like I'd won the lottery. I don't think people can understand really hard up unless they've been there.

It sounds like you are surrounded by people who don't quite know just how fortunate they are in that case.

In my circles, we go to the community pantry every week to stretch out our money as much as possible and would feel incredibly lucky to have even as little as £10 a month to save and know all too well that we will never be comfortable, just surviving.

I’m sorry for people who are genuinely struggling. But there are those who say there’s nothing left that should honestly ask themselves whether it’s sensible to prioritise spend on frivolities before they have a safety net.

Prices are going up again - build up a safety net before the crisis to help you weather the crisis.

I’m genuinely sorry for people who are struggling but as a taxpayer who has struggled as a single parent in the past, I’m not willing to bail people out to pay for their bad financial choices. Often people who have more “stuff” than me.

Is it something people should aim towards? Yes of course.

Is it something that the majority of people can only dream of? Yes of course

I would be willing to guess that the majority of people in the UK are living pay cheque to pay cheque or at least very close to it.
Savings figures are skewed by the relatively small number of people who are able to save thousands and thus skew the average figures.

Places like Mumsnet are also generally inhabited by those at the higher end and people tend to be friends with those of a similar wealth group so a lot of peoples view on wealth is tainted by that.

For example "Very few people can be living like that, everyone I know has good savings and most of the people I talk to online are doing well so I don't believe it"

So in short yes, great idea but wildly unrealistic and actually for most families just having savings of any kind is an achievement. having family savings as well as personal savings is so far away from reality that its almost insulting to think it could happen.

For women that can accrue it, this is a good idea. Also for men. The idea of sharing everything only works in the most perfect marriage which most aren't. But any smaller amount is valuable.

The principle stands, educating girls/ young women to recognise their own importance, that keeping and increasing their own money is normal.

It’s click bait! Next she’ll be telling us her mother in law is a multimillionaire but hoards it all… or sister in law is sleeping with her husband… or her next door neighbour is driving over her garden. Mumsnet is a haven for the unhinged!

99% of people who treat it as a lottery win and splurge it instantly. Then moan to the govt they need more support. It’s this chronic dependency addiction encouraged by Labour.