AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

[Beautifulsiro56]

Males working in my cbildrends nursery- makes me feel so uncomfortable
Why would a male want to work in a nursery? Most nursery abuse cases are men.
Men shouldn't be allowed to work in nurseries? AIBU

Most of the men caught sexually abusing children in nurseries recently were working in places with CCTV. It doesn't prevent it.

My issue is with the lax safeguarding in settings and unsafe staff ratios. Until we fix that , awful incidents will keep happening. I didn’t mention anything about it being odd that men are in caregiving roles. I DID say that a male worker increases risk statistically, but that can be managed by a setting with clear and robust safeguarding policies.

The lax safeguarding procedures likely lead to more incidents along the line of the womsn who was hitting kids than the men sexually abusing children.

Fsr easier to give a kid a sly pinch than the other.

Have we gone back in time? Is it the 70s again,? Can only men be firefighters or doctors now? Or is that unreasonable? Abuse happens, man or woman. Why should a man be refused a job when he us the best candidate? If it was about a woman there would be an out cry

Oh wow, a quick google suggests I am mistaken. I’ll need to read a bit more to work out who I was thinking of…that drew attention to how cautions or being spoken to by police, needed to show up on checks. Thanks for clarifying.

I think in order to safeguard all children no nursery staff should ever be alone in a room with a child. For nappy changes, two staff members present. It would protect all children and staff.
There's been horrible cases in the news recently, with men carrying out sexual abuse but also female staff actually killing children in nursery, one child suffocated into a bean bag. I didn't send mine until he was 3 and could walk and talk, and was just about potty trained. But I understand that not all parents have that luxury. Babies are so vulnerable.

Sexism does.

But it doesn’t happen equally, man or woman. Sexual abuse against under 3s is vastly more commonly perpetrated by men. And rates have not improved. So it’s a valid question to ask, are the risks worth the gains.

This again. There is a post on this at least once a week. Bottom line is if you don't feel comfortable with your child's nursery for whatever reason move them. Simple as that

My child's nursery has a man and he's so good with children.
My child is happy to go in the morning when he's around and a lot less happy with other staff. Some men are just very good at this job, just like some women.

Yes, I understood that but general Surgery is where they go to practice, start on mole Removal and work their way up.

It’s quite a telling statement that gynaecologists and obstetricians just get to practice as they go along cause it’s only women’s genitals they could potentially make a mess of

We don’t do good men any favours by pretending that women and men sexually abuse children in equal numbers. They don’t. And, frankly, men need to be doing something about it. And women saying “Oh, men are wonderful!!” Isn’t helping!

There’s a young man who works in my daughter’s nursery and he is wonderful! When we first looked around the place whilst I was pregnant we saw him with the preschoolers having a whale of a time in the garden. The kids were clearly having great fun with him and we thought wow this place looks perfect! Since we got to know the staff better it’s obvious he’s a lovely guy and the kids love him.

My daughter’s nursery massively benefits from this member of staff.

I wouldn’t deal with it. I’d look at changing nurseries and vote with my feet. You shouldn’t put your children in a situation that you are uncomfortable with

School teachers don't provide intimate care, and importantly many toddlers and babies could not describe something that happened to them even if they can talk.

Mostly because a lot of women Peados haven’t been caught as women are seen as more trustworthy

We have a male worker who covers for holidays at our nursery and they have to put up a message in the app to say he’s in…… I feel so sorry for him that they have to announce his presence!

My only experience is a good friends daughter who was abused by a female nursery worker which was horrific but I can’t tarnish all nursery workers with the same brush!

We are seeing more instances of "capture" so to speak, its getting harder and harder to avoid being caught now. Roksana Lecka is an example, and also Lucy Letby.

The main perpetrators are overwhelmingly men, however, to the point where if I had a child of nursery age and a man was working in one, it would be a hard no.

Those of you who say you wouldn’t put your child in a nursery with a man on the staff - would you actually move your child if they were settled and happy there, and a new staff member was male?

For me that would be a really difficult scenario - I’d be going in for a conversation and speaking to the nursery about what are their procedures for intimate care - I’d not want that done by a man and would expect them to be able to cater for that. If they wouldn’t I would consider moving them.

I read an article this morning about a nine month old baby who died because she was restrained face down by a female worker and another worker in the same nursery got three years for assaulting kids

Yes. Same as I wouldn't choose a childminder with a dog, and if they got a dog I would move.

Those ‘jumping’ on DBS citing - it was as an etc not the be all and end all. Similar could be said about a MOT as they only provide a snapshot of the cars state at that particular time and date. No checking system is 100% guaranteed.

Male babysitter - probably not as a nursery setting is lower risk than having a babysitter 1:1 in our own home. Some staff at our nursery offer babysitting services and if we were in the position and didn’t have a family member who could help we would go with someone known to us / our DD than someone unknown. PS Colin (obv name changed for privacy) in our nursery doesn’t offer babysitting services!

Yes.

I suspect all these “wonderful””the best!” male child care workers are benefitting from the “Oh he’s such a good dad!” privilege. All they have to do is 10 minutes of basic parenting. Like changing a nappy, or pushing a swing.