AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

[Beautifulsiro56]

Males working in my cbildrends nursery- makes me feel so uncomfortable
Why would a male want to work in a nursery? Most nursery abuse cases are men.
Men shouldn't be allowed to work in nurseries? AIBU

But I did share the facts - these:

• Men are 32 times more likely to sexually abuse children
• 4% of males aren't just opportunistic abusers, but are specifically attracted to under‐10s.
• Men are nearly 3x more likely to work with children if they're sexually attracted to them
• Despite consistently being only around 3% of nursery workers, studies show that as far back as the 70s, men have committed the vast majority of sex abuses in nurseries, and the most extreme sex crimes.
• Currently the UK is not keeping data on the number of male (or female) nursery workers who are committing sexual abuse, or what their crimes are, so it's impossible to tell the scope of the issue in the UK at the current time."

And you responded with something about legality - I have no clue why.

There is no safeguarding that will eliminate risk, and males will always pose a far, far higher risk than females. So what was your point in stating the obvious? I genuinely don't know.

Knowing the statistics, however, parents may choose to seek out nurseries without male workers, or decide one of them will be a stay at home parent until their children are school age.

Also, people may push the relevant authorities for more data collection on nurseries specifically, which would be very useful in assessing the situation.

ETA: I don't have an issue with posters giving their opinions! I have an issue with posters entirely ignoring all the facts and stats, and only responding with opinion.

im an early years teacher and have had several men work with me as TAs.. I worked in a deprived area and having a male influence was great! In saying that we had strict safeguarding policies and neither were comfortable changing nappies/helping change children who had accidents which was absolutely not an issue. My youngest son had a fab male nursery teacher who he still talks about! He was 3 and loved chatting about him!

i think we need to always be cautious but men in early years are a positive influence, however predators will prey on the most vulnerable so sadly I do understand your point.

The male role models angle is interesting.
It's exactly the sort of thing that appeals to the woman who's working in a 'man' s world' as it affirms her choice that this man is also doing the reverse of what he should do, too!
How marvelous! (sarcasm).
Yep you can see why they're rated more highly than that young girl.

Of course the idea that a child needs role models at nursery is bullshit.
That comes later, surely?

Also, laws can obviously be changed at any time.
If more of these cases come to light the government will change the law. It's easy and as more cases come to the fore it really will be popular with the majority to ban them. Myself included.

(No offence but does anybody really think that banning male nursery workers is going to cause major public outrage and marching on the streets?)

You'd have to be pretty tone deaf to employ a male nursery worker in the first place.
Maybe this strange anamoly will die out without intervention.

This is why they just shouldn’t be in their role because they can’t win
They aren’t comfortable doing a part of the job that they are paid to do that women are expected to do and they can literally just opt out of it
That’s not fair either
So they just can’t be in their role

Do you all feel the same about Male paediatricians, cub leaders ?
Just a question.

Trying to recall when a male pediatrician or cub leader was alone with my non-verbal child/ baby.
Never.

You are ill informed. Men aren't banned from having mammograms and do have them when a risk of breast cancer is detected. Because men can get breast cancer too.

Sorry! Misread the post. You mean carry them out, not have them!

Erm, you seem to have misread me.

ETA: Whoops, cross-post! And no worries, it happens 😅

Because whatever they do they’re the best.
if there’s a medal they deserve it and despite all the evidence you should absolutely trust your vulnerable little children to ‘not all men.’
And before anyone jumps I agree ‘it’s not all men. ‘

But I wouldn’t leave a child with a male nursery worker - absolutely not.

I only wish someone had felt uneasy leaving me with my male relatives - that means they really care!

YABU

Picking on someone personally like this is low.
You should apologise and try and learn to discuss and disagree without getting personal.

Given the amount of convictions that are coming out of the woodwork we ought to

There should never be a situation where a paediatrician or cub leader is alone with a child, undressing a child or touching a child's genitals.
Having been a cub leader I can promise there was never a situation where I was in toilets with children or alone with sleeping children, or alone at all, or had any involvement with dressing or undressing children.
Having worked in private and school nurseries, both as permanent and agency staff, I was daily alone with children, dressing and undressing children and cleaning genitals, putting children to bed etc.
The level of risk is nowhere near the same even before you take into account the different vulnerability of a toddler vs and 8 year old.

Why does your DH feel uncomfortable speaking about his daughter to a woman? Why does he prefer to speak to a man?

"Of course the idea that a child needs role models at nursery is bullshit.
That comes later, surely?"

Talk with children in a pre-school room. They'll tell you that men are doctors, women are nurses, girls have long hair, and what colours go with who. Apparently,
Boys: Green, blue and black.
Girls: Pink, purple and yellow.

And these ideas remain fixed for life?

When I was at nursery I wanted to BE a boy, insisted on a short hair cut and a boy’s name. 35 years later I’m a happily married heterosexual feminine woman. Turns out my beliefs at 3 didn’t define me for the rest of my life. Shocker.