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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I reeeeeeally don't want to go to India

472 replies

Harshreality · 06/04/2026 06:09

Husband and DC (12) want to go. I do not. Holidays for me are not a break, it's just my same stressful life somewhere else. I can envisage India being stress on steroids. The constant worrying about safety, getting ill, the noise, the hygiene, the hustle bustle, potential harassment...etc. Nothing about it appeals remotely but I'll almost certainly be forced to go with nagging. Our breaks are always nonstop activities because dh is so driven but I have been saying no to India for almost 25 years .Is it unreasonable to not want to go?

OP posts:

snowymarbles · 06/04/2026 06:10

Let them go and take yourself somewhere else

pepperminticecream · 06/04/2026 06:11

Just stay in a nice hotel and you’ll be fine. I spent a week in India and my husband has been many times and we both enjoyed it.

I did not get sick in India and felt great the whole time. I just made sure to only eat cooked food (the food was amazing) and drank bottled water (even brushed my teeth with it which was overkill). It was totally fine!

ColinOfficeTrolley · 06/04/2026 06:12

snowymarbles · 06/04/2026 06:10

Let them go and take yourself somewhere else

Totally agree. I would be quite happy to do this. I agree it would be stressful and I would not be using my annual leave to be going somewhere that isn't relaxing.

JoshLymanSwagger · 06/04/2026 06:13

As above, let them go together, and you book a destination for a more restful break for yourself.

DefiantRabbit9 · 06/04/2026 06:14

Is it unreasonable to not want to go to the rape capital of the world? Hell no. Can't you just let them go on their own?

GCAcademic · 06/04/2026 06:16

If you stay in 4 or 5 star hotels, India is extremely luxurious with much better food and service than you get in the UK.

bumblingbovine49 · 06/04/2026 06:17

Well I went and liked it much more than I thought I would but we did a private tour so that we didn't really deal with much stress at all
Everything was laid on , we were taken everywhere, and in absolutely stunning hotels. I wouldn't say it was an authentic experience, my niece who loves India has those and has been 3 times but I was clear I did it want one of those, I wanted to avoid too much hassle.

But I though the sunrise over the Taj Mahal was wonderful and surprisingly uncrowded. I loved the tiger safari and even quite liked the guided walk around Jaipur as I loved the Marigold hotel film

We basically had a tour guide for every activity and a driver

You will get some hassle when out sightseeing with the guide but really not as much as you'd think and I did not get ill at all. I did avoid all fruit, salad and ice upside the hotels but are hot food where the guides said it was good
We went for 10 days which was enough to do the bare minimum of Delhi. Agra, Jaipur and a couple of days on tiger safari, or you could do Varanassi and the river ganges instead maybe

ALittleBitofWensleydale · 06/04/2026 06:17

Many years ago I split up with a boyfriend when he said he wanted to go to India. It was the place I least wanted to visit! Clearly we weren't compatible.
dont go, let them go without them and enjoy the peace.

ExtraOnions · 06/04/2026 06:21

Which part do they want to go to? What sort of holiday? 2 weeks in Kerela is very different to 2 weeks in Mumbai.

I’ve been several times, and my DSis goes every year. She’s much more adventurous and goes touring round seeing Tigers, and temples and allsorts of places.

Hygiene wise, hotels etc are fine … no hotel or restaurant wants to make anyone ill, it’s bad for business. I’ve never had food poisoning at any point. I’ve never been harrassed ( had more harrasment in Manchester). Yes you have to leave some of your Western sensibilities at the door … and like most countries, you keep your wits about you in the city. Get a great guide ish advice,

if you don’t want to go, don’t go .,

user593 · 06/04/2026 06:22

I think it’s unreasonable not to go if you wouldn’t be happy for them to go on their own. I have been to India a lot, luxuries are relatively cheap which should make the trip less stressful.

WalkDontWalk · 06/04/2026 06:22

You may be holiday incompatible. A marriage where one wants to go and see the castle and the waterfall and some author's birthplace and try ziplining and swimming with dolphins. And the other wants to find a nice place for breakfast, go there every day and then while away the hours reading a book on the veranda or just watching the sky.

"But...but...you can read a book at home! Why have we come all this way and spent all this money when all you want to do is read a book?"

"To be fair, that's what I've been saying since you booked the flights."

Nofeckingway · 06/04/2026 06:35

I hate feeling pressured like this . I would be quite happy to let them go without you . But I find in similar situations that often people want you to go too and you are to pretend to enjoy it. Luckily I have stood my ground and my DH and DD are off the end of this month on holiday. It's not the place I don't want to go to but the people I don't want to be around.

WhatNoRaisins · 06/04/2026 06:35

I'd say no. At age 12 it's not like your DH will.be looking after a toddler alone. Let them go and do something else.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 06/04/2026 06:36

I would love to go, I'd build in a yoga retreat.

Yes, India can be extremely hectic but also wonderful. It's massive! People writing a whole country off are coming across as a bit thick.

CaffeineAndChords · 06/04/2026 06:37

It’d be a firm no form me too. I know someone who went and has got lifelong stomach issues from having severe food poisoning there.

HoraceCope · 06/04/2026 06:38

try the himalayas also
ride on a tuk tuk
the tours recommended above sound perfect

user593 · 06/04/2026 06:39

user593 · 06/04/2026 06:22

I think it’s unreasonable not to go if you wouldn’t be happy for them to go on their own. I have been to India a lot, luxuries are relatively cheap which should make the trip less stressful.

Edited

Also I’d just add different parts of India are very different. My DP and I both like different parts of India unfortunately. So if you do decide to go, perhaps research going to a part of India which is more likely to appeal to you?

UglyJumper · 06/04/2026 06:47

Could there be a compromise? A country that feels far away and exotic enough but also clean, safe and more comfortable, like Japan maybe?

JoshLymanSwagger · 06/04/2026 06:50

Ah, hang on...

It's not India.

It's going on holiday with them.

India is an excuse.

Send them off on there own - take them to the airport (to make sure they go).
Enjoy the peace while they're away. 🌸

ScarlettSunset · 06/04/2026 06:52

Keep saying no to ANYWHERE you don't want to go.

Explain that you're happy for them to go without you.

You've tried repeating this over and over already so I think it's time to say the discussion is closed. That you hope they have a nice time when they go, but you won't be going with them. End of.

You don't want to go so you shouldn't have to..it doesn't matter if they don't agree with your reasons, they're YOUR reasons.. Keep sticking to it, as long as you're not stopping them, you're not being unreasonable.

I hope you have a lovely relaxing time while they're away!

TheMauveBeaker · 06/04/2026 06:54

Nothing would induce me to go to India for all the reasons you’ve cited, OP. My DH would like to go so I’ve told him if he wants to do it, he’ll have to go with a friend as there’s zero chance of me ever changing my mind. YANBU.

JMSA · 06/04/2026 06:54

I’ve never fancied India, so YANBU for not wanting to go.
However your anxious and negative approach to holidays seems off the scale. You clearly just haven’t found the right one. Why not open your mind and try?

Seabreeze18 · 06/04/2026 06:55

I think u are being out of order if your husband has always wanted to go and u deny him! Life is about experiences and India has very peaceful areas like any country. Taj Mahal is quite special and calm.

Snoken · 06/04/2026 06:57

why hasn’t your husband gone on his own in all the years he’s been nagging you about it? I would definitely tell them that whoever wants to go should go, but that you won’t be going.

Globules · 06/04/2026 06:57

Where DO you want to go OP?

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