I reeeeeeally don't want to go to India

[Harshreality]

Husband and DC (12) want to go. I do not. Holidays for me are not a break, it's just my same stressful life somewhere else. I can envisage India being stress on steroids. The constant worrying about safety, getting ill, the noise, the hygiene, the hustle bustle, potential harassment...etc. Nothing about it appeals remotely but I'll almost certainly be forced to go with nagging. Our breaks are always nonstop activities because dh is so driven but I have been saying no to India for almost 25 years .Is it unreasonable to not want to go?

When you enjoy life at home every day is a holiday.

Travel as a tourist damages the planet and does not benefit the locals.

Travelling to satisfy your own curiosity is incredibly selfish

I’m a bit torn on this. When I went to India it was eye opening for me. It was the first time I’d been out of Europe and I just loved aspects like the Taj Mahal. On the other side, I got very sick and had a huge amount of culture shock. If the OP is not up for that, it’s not really a holiday for her. I’d be willing to let the husband and son go if she can book something for herself she’d actually like.

This does not ring true with your original post.

Oh, this is peak MN! 😀

So no one should travel abroad at all?

Yes. It does.

Absolutely this
take the opportunity to go with a friend on a chill out holiday.

‘’Holidays for me are not a break it's just my same stressful life somewhere else. I can envisage India being stress on steroids.’’

Fair enough if India is not your thing but I think you need to address why your whole life is so stressful? There is lots you can do to improve day to day life and your general well-being if you are receptive to it. You also don’t indicated that you find all holidays stressful not just India. I believe you need to look at your life and discuss with your family what can be done to improve things.

Her husband can go without her !

I had a colleague ask me about their trip to my part of India. I gave them my recommendations, they loved their 2 week trip.

How do you normally travel, @Harshreality ? I went to India on a tour many years ago and it was fine. I returned a few years ago as a solo backpacker, and while some of it was great (Darjeeling and Sikkim) Kolkata nearly broke me. It felt like every single person lied to me and ripped me off, so getting a straight answer to organise my own transport and activities was a nightmare.
My husband was wise to wave me off on that trip and stay home with our teenagers 😄

Fair enough if you don’t want to go to India and agree with others to let them go.

India is beautiful, as with any country and even with England you stay away from the dodgy parts.

People seem to forget their common sense when abroad.

I would love to go again, luxury is affordable out there.

Exactly. We are going to the north for a week of activity, then Kerala to chill out (we’ve done tea and spice tours plenty of times). We will go to Cochin and look around and do something foody, but it’s RnR on the backwaters.
I have to say Op you sound stressful. It’s a country that people live in, nothing more.

Then it's time to break that trend and let your DH and DS go to India and you do something else.

My aunt and uncle took their boys (age 11 and 13 at the time) to India for 2 weeks and they had an amazing time.

Where did they go?

You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. I'd point them at the airport, wish them bon voyage and then catch a flight to a Greek island, snooze in the sun, swim in the sea and eat tsatsiki & sea bass for a week. 😊 Peace. No stress.

@BengaluruFan Bengaluru used to be a gorgeous city, but now sadly traffucked! Karnataka is definitely India's most underrrated state though.
I wish more people would go there rather than to the Golden Triangle.

Sorry you cant really deny your DH and DC. It is selfish and mean
What normal people do if holiday ideas are different is alternate,
So get your ass to India then next year is holiday of your choosing.

Agree. She says they never go on holiday without one another, and are never apart - which is fine and I know plenty of people like that.

But just because they have never done that doesn't mean they can't. Shake things up, do something separately.

I hated India and I was there for work so stayed in nice hotels. The leering men and sense of it not being safe for me as a women were really unpleasant

To be fair to DH, if you're a very widely travelled family, India is a huge omission. I can see why he wants to go. If you're adamant that you can't spend time away from each other, I'd work with him to choose some of the easier parts of the country (maybe the south?) and pre organised transport and good hotels.

Much as I love solo backpacking, I'm not planning to do it in Indian cities again.

It's where I'm from. Where I grew up. Yes the traffic situation can be horrible. But we love it there.

OP I think in general you need to realise that there are no prizes handed out for taking on lots of stress or martyring yourself for other people. Your marriage won't break down if you spend some nights apart.

So go to Korea instead by yourself. And let them go to India.
Otherwise it’s a victim mentality- oh but my DH DOESNT LET ME because he doesn’t want to go. Oh they are MAKING ME go to India even though I don’t want want to go.
sorry it’s a bit pathetic.
grow up and actually do want you want or stop fake moaning

This. Having been on business as a woman travelling alone, I can say absolutely that I'll never go back.