I reeeeeeally don't want to go to India

[Harshreality]

Husband and DC (12) want to go. I do not. Holidays for me are not a break, it's just my same stressful life somewhere else. I can envisage India being stress on steroids. The constant worrying about safety, getting ill, the noise, the hygiene, the hustle bustle, potential harassment...etc. Nothing about it appeals remotely but I'll almost certainly be forced to go with nagging. Our breaks are always nonstop activities because dh is so driven but I have been saying no to India for almost 25 years .Is it unreasonable to not want to go?

India is the capital of everything. Because it has 1 billion people. Skews the stats.

I am of Indian origin, go every year and both DD and I have travelled solo in India, quite extensively. But people have different experiences.

I wouldn’t want to go either. They can go together.

Never really understood that one: A work colleague flew all the way to Bali just to sit by the pool and read a couple of chick lit novels. I couldn't believe that she hadn't done any excursions, seen any temples, etc. She seemed to have no interest or curiosity at all in the culture or the fact she in Bali! She could have flown to Spain or Greece to sit by a pool in the sun!

I know we are all different but I find it somewhat bizarre!

India is incredibly varied - your issues sounds like city issues, there are fantastic places so over the countryside. But it's up to you. Going and nagging feels like an odd choice though.

Would say my kids got much sicker in central America than they did in India.

DH and I are not holiday incompatible, but I have a special hobby he doesn't share and he has one I don't share.
So we both do a solo trip away once a year, and have done for nearly 30 years.

One day you will be spending nights apart. Always best to have done it regularly before that happens. It's not some sort of 'flex' thsg you havent . If you cannot do separate things then you will be going to India ( which you don't want) or he and your daughter will not be going to a place they really want to go ( and that is also extremely unfair).

Can you not include some beach relaxation time in there as well as sight seeing so that you get a good combination. If everyone is keen I would spend sometime looking in to it to see if you can find a way to make it work for you. Or combine it with some pure indulgence/relaxation in the Maldives on the way home if budget allows

There are hundreds of countries to visit, holidays are supposed to be enjoyed by everyone. It’s not on that he knows you don’t want to go and us trying to grind you down.

YABU
What's wrong with saying, 'No, thank you. India isn't my cup of tea. But you go and have an amazing time'

You sound holiday incompatible. Let him take DC to India and you go on holiday alone. If you want a holiday where you lay on a sunlounger reading a book and drinking cocktails, instead of 'nonstop activities' you do that instead.

Or stay at home and enjoy relaxing peace, perhaps go out for some day trips.

Sri Lanka would be a good compromise. India lite and very small. Many relaxing beaches but also adventurous trips.

I'd love to go to India!

I'd go in a heartbeat. It looks totally fascinating, architecturally stunning, culturally rich & colourful, delicious cuisine, gorgeous fabrics, etc. In my younger days, I travelled all over Mexico and loved it - mainly for the above reasons.

I think it depends where you are going and what you are intending doing. I've been to India 4 times (twice as a backpacker many years ago) and have a love/hate relationship with it.

You could stay in a good hotel in a quiet place and take day trips with a driver. You could hire a driver for the complete time you are there to take you out every day. Staying in Delhi (I'd say no) or staying somewhere in Kerala are two completely different things. Kerala is India "light".

If you are concerned, stay out of large cities. I never got sick (even when a backpacker).

Having spent quite a few months in India as a young woman. I would highly recommended NOT going. Harassment and sexual touching etc. Noone to tell as the police are fucking corrupt as hell. We did have one fantastic officer who stepped in once and personally escorted us back to our hotel because men were literally following me. Girls (teens) were being raped and set on fire in the neighbouring village to where we were staying at the time. Absolutely fucking terrifying.

Saying that we did see some nice places when we went up to 5* accomodation, but the train stations etc and smaller towns can be really intimidating.

Can you all go on a guided tour with 5 star hotels? Just do the "triangle" for a week? That's what I did. Ate veggie, didn't get ill.

India is stunning but quite intense. I would not have enjoyed it without a mini bus and guide.

It is all these things. And also other horrible things.

They're not going to the DRC.

I have a Sri Lankan colleague who said that Sri Lanka has a lot of the beauty of India but is calmer and smaller and generally less hectic and easier to travel through. A friend who has been to both said the same. I was chatting to my colleague and realised you can travel from Sri Lanka to Kerala (the part of India I would love to see most) easily. So maybe that would be an option?

If your husband has been wanting to visit India for 25 years then it would be very selfish to tell him he can’t go just because you don’t want to spend a night apart.

The cities can be a culture shock but India is an enormous country with just about every landscape you can think of. There’s deserts, snow capped mountains, vineyards, jungles and beautiful beaches. You need to either embrace it and help plan the trip so it includes parts that you would enjoy, or let them go alone.

We go on the same trips, and different trips to accommodate interest/visiting friends etc. Very civilised. And we compromise too.

The Congo?

It's not even remotely safe for women in India. Why are they trying to bully you into going to an unsafe country you have no desire to visit? Are they always this unfair, unkind and unpleasant to you?

All of this and then some.

It depends where in India. We are Indian. We don't really like the north, we like the south. We like Bangalore.

It's a massive nation and every place is different. I honestly would never go to Delhi again. But offer me a trip to Bangalore and I'd go in a heartbeat.

I would be exactly the same. Nothing remotely appeals about India and I don't think I would go even if someone paid for me to go... Definitely not for a holiday. I would 100% NOT be going, so YANBU, OP.