To be annoyed DP has been at golf all day and out drinking and still isn't home.

[lilybit2025]

Am I overreacting here? Please be honest.

We don’t have children, we live together and we’re engaged. We spent Friday with friends and all day together yesterday, so it’s not like we haven’t had time together this weekend, which is partly why I feel like I might not have a leg to stand on.

Today, I was under the impression he was just going for breakfast with the boys, then golf, then a few drinks after, nothing major. That was absolutely fine with me. He left at 10am, golf finished around 4, and now it’s 9pm and he’s still out.

The thing is, he does have a bit of a track record of these things turning into a full-on session. He’ll either come back completely wasted or sometimes not come back at all. So when he says “a few drinks,” it doesn’t always mean that in reality.

I want to be clear I’m not controlling and I’m completely fine with him having time with his friends. I also don’t mind having time to myself. I think what’s annoyed me is that it wasn’t framed as a big day or night out, and it’s Easter Sunday which feels like a bit of a “together” kind of day, even if we don’t have kids.

I’m also conscious that if he is out properly drinking, tomorrow will likely be a write-off with him hungover, even though we had planned to spend the day together.

So am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit put out about this, or do I need to just get over it

Yeah, that is bad. It goes beyond a day on the piss with mates.

Drinking all day or a few drinks is fine. Drinking so much that you can barely walk, and make unwise decisions is not on. If it was once he’d done this (plus the climbing on conservatory roof) I’d probably say eh let it go, be careful and laugh it off. More than once means he thinks it’s fine and carries on doing this maybe worse than before.

OP, this is your life if you marry a pisshead.
It would be utterly shameful to inflict someone like this on children IMO.
If he can't go out and not get into this condition regularly, he has a problem.
Going out for a planned day is not the issue.
But messing you about is not acceptable.
If you had know would you have made other plans?
You are mad if you regularlyspend time hanging around like this for him.
Don't marry him if this is a pattern.
You will bitterly regret it.

Sounds like you’re not ok with it in your gut and that is OK OP.

Personally I’d fine it a huge turn off having a partner who often came did not come back when he said he would. Or didn’t come home. This is how he is, don’t expect him to change when married so ask yourself honestly are you ok with that?

So breakfast with his mates, a round of golf and a few drinks meant he rolled in at practically 1am? Yeah, I’d be thinking long and hard about marrying him, or starting a family with him.

Oh, and I wouldn't put too mut weight on the vote, as most people will have read your title, then your opening post and voted at that point.

Not once you added the later details.

If you asked people who had read all your posts if you should stay with this man, I think you'd get a resounding 'no'.

Did I make light of it? Erm no I didn’t.

That is 100% not what I said. But the op was pretty obtuse thorouout. So…

No. She wasnt. But feel free to give specific examples.

I agree. She wasn't. Some posters however...