To be annoyed DP has been at golf all day and out drinking and still isn't home.

[lilybit2025]

Am I overreacting here? Please be honest.

We don’t have children, we live together and we’re engaged. We spent Friday with friends and all day together yesterday, so it’s not like we haven’t had time together this weekend, which is partly why I feel like I might not have a leg to stand on.

Today, I was under the impression he was just going for breakfast with the boys, then golf, then a few drinks after, nothing major. That was absolutely fine with me. He left at 10am, golf finished around 4, and now it’s 9pm and he’s still out.

The thing is, he does have a bit of a track record of these things turning into a full-on session. He’ll either come back completely wasted or sometimes not come back at all. So when he says “a few drinks,” it doesn’t always mean that in reality.

I want to be clear I’m not controlling and I’m completely fine with him having time with his friends. I also don’t mind having time to myself. I think what’s annoyed me is that it wasn’t framed as a big day or night out, and it’s Easter Sunday which feels like a bit of a “together” kind of day, even if we don’t have kids.

I’m also conscious that if he is out properly drinking, tomorrow will likely be a write-off with him hungover, even though we had planned to spend the day together.

So am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit put out about this, or do I need to just get over it

@SALaw would you also assume that after he had told you a time? And you would be ok with him coming home in the early hours, climbing on the conservatory roof and pissing in the front garden? How low is your self esteem?

Nope, I wouldn’t. My self esteem is about as high or low as the next person. My comment is about how long those listed things generally take.

Perfectly fine for him to do an all day golf bender. Not okay to lie about it so you don't know what's going on.

I don’t think I’d be bothered by this unless we’d made other plans.

You're be good with him getting so bladdered he pissed in the garden, couldnt use his keys, climbed on top of the conservatory and wrote Easter Monday off because he was ruinously drunk?

Odd.

I’d go your separate ways
it’s obvious not ideal but your reaction is extreme your not compatible
as a grown adult with no kids I wouldn’t appreciate a curfew

sorry missed 2nd comment

Have you actually read all OP’s posts?!

You're on the wrong thread, replying to posts nobody wrote on this one.

Well the climbing on the roof is ridiculous but why couldn’t he get his keys in the lock? Because he was drunk or because you’d put yours in the other side?

He was so bladdered he pissed on the lawn and has form for writing off the entire next day because he drank so much, so I am guessing the former.

Must.
always.
be.
the.
woman‘s,
fault.

Do you think he says 'it won't be late' to avoid making you angry or upset about him going out?

I remember planning on having a quiet one and ending up having fun and staying out - my DP did the same when we were young, and 30 is young. It doesn't follow that he'll do this as a parent in his mid or late 30s.

Please read all of the OP's posts. Playing golf all day and having a drink or two is fine.

Staying out all night, coming back very late absolutely bladdered, pissing on the lawn and being so drunk he can't even get the key into the lock so he climbs onto the conservatory roof is all OK with you then?

He does the first two regularly. BTW. It's in the first post.

Did you both get so disgustingly drunk you could not use your house keys pissed on the front lawn and climbed the conservatory too? Did you both have form for writing off entire days because you were so ruinously drunk?

If OP is anxious about his time keeping, it likely stems from the fact that he has form for getting disgustingly drunk and writing off two days.

At any age, that's concerning.

I hope you've made plans to do something for yourself today.

He sounds a bit of a dick. And he plays Golf. Ugh!

I wouldn't marry this man. Not if you want children.

Yeah

This will become more of a problem when you do have children. Are you sure about marrying someone who gets plastered and sometimes doesn’t come home?
He sounds like a man who’ll expect you to ‘nag’ and promptly ignore you. If he wanted to spend the long weekend with you, he would.

And yet still you talked nonsense. Odd.

Do you honestly think that this man's behaviour is OK? If you do then you have a very low bar.

Not to mention the OP didn't give him a curfew, she just thought he'd be home earlier than he eventually turned up because he had told her that he would not be late, and called her at 3 to reiterate that.

And there was no "extreme" in her saying she was a bit put out by all of this.

I think the person you are replying to is either trolling, or in favour of getting so drunk you cannot think straight, act properly or keep promises.

The drinking is the entire issue. She wouldn't be sitting there anxiously looking at the clock if she wasn't sure he was getting absolutely bladdered to the point he was literally incapable of even using a key, and ruining the next day too.

I would a thousand pounds she wouldn't have been bothered at all if he wasn't a drunk. He has form for it and at times has not bothered coming home at all.

After this last lot of shite, she needs to bin him off.

It’s not just ridiculous it’s downright dangerous. What if he’d fallen and was paralysed or even died? No one would be laughing or making light of this then.

100% agree. Worrying really.