Being fat stopping me from being happy

[SunFunGin48392]

I'm so so so unreasonable but I this is too stupid to say in real life and yet incredibly massive for me. I have a nearly 2 year old DS. I went back to work at 6 month post partum, I'm successful career wise, make good money. DS is thriving. I have a nice house. DH is not the best at doing his share but not the worst. I should be enjoying life and I can’t. All I can think of is how much weight I have put on since I went back to work. I've gone from a size 8 (I lost the baby weight after I had the baby) to a size 14. I have no photos with DS in the last 6 months as I look awful and it's so sad. I'm on the taller size (5'7") so I just look enormous. My skin is awful too.

I'm also extremely sleep deprived. DS still wakes once a night, and more if he is sick. I've made various attempts at diet and exercise but they go out the window when DS gets sick and starts waking 4 times a night.

I work 50 hours a week so there is very, very, very little time to exercise. It can only happen if DS sleeps and my day goes as scheduled.

This Easter weekend I'm so exhausted, I can barely get up from the sofa. I do have some health issues made worse by lack of exercise and being fat so that's not helping.

I feel worthless and completely unlovable.

I haven't seen friends for months and I've backed out of plans with friends tonight for the same reason. I just don't want to be seen by anyone.

Anyone else feel the same and managed to change?

Name changed for this as I know how fucking stupid and embarrassing I am.

This. That's what's making you unhappy and no wonder.

This is incorrect or incomplete.

the data was on the trial participants who only lost an average of 8kg, they did regain faster when the trial stopped. Howver real life data coming out now is showing people are keeping it off longer. Likely as they don’t feel deprived when on them so less likely to go nuts, however 80 percent of people who diet regain the weight , all of it and more, within 5 years. So far those who use the drugs seem to be fairing better.

however more than that if you find your weight creeps up,as long as within a year, you can go back on, so ie just to lose half a stone and reset.

please ensure you post factual information if advising someone.

You won’t be helped by the comments telling you a 14 isn’t fat.

This.

It's like the people in the pub coaxing an alcoholic to have one more drink.

The way to objectively 'diagnose' fatness is to calculate BMI and check it on the NHS chart. That doesn't lie.

Of course that works the other end as well, if the original size 8 is underweight for the OP that would be a heads up to up her calories a bit.

The 3pm cake and the glass of wine after bedtime are the only enjoyable moments of my day really. Everything else work and chores and toddler.

Need to find morale boosters/rewards that don't have calories in them. Once you swap them out you won't miss the cake/wine/gin.

It's a correct description of the BMJ review I mentioned.

You'll note that I specified the authors themselves said more research was needed, and didn't disagree with this. They're right, it is! I also was clear that dieters usually regain weight too. This is a point I bring up a lot, as my posting history will attest.

There's a great deal of nonsense been spouted about that review, not helped by the headlines that funnily enough chose to focus on the WLI users regaining faster rather than them still being lighter than the dieters despite that. But actually, nothing you've written here is in disagreement with what I wrote.

You stated the risk of regain was higher, then you quoted the analysis of the trial participants to back that up.

so yes, you misled. Either as you’ve issues with the drugs or you didn’t know.

Thank you everyone! I have read all the responses and taking it all on board.

At size 8, my BMI was 22 so straight in the middle of normal! At 12/14 my BMI is 27.5 so quite overweight. Size 8 I was slim but actually not that skinny.

It's not about the size anyway, it's the almost overnight change. I don't recognise myself at all. I have no nice clothes, nothing fits, and it's all on my face, arms and waist which is new for me. In the past, when I put on weight it was on my arse so I always had a nice shape at least. Pregnancy/age has changed things.

I'm glad I posted, I needed to get these feelings out and get some understanding. I feel better after these responses and I will change some things around. I think I am trying to do too much probably and somethings got to give.

Thank you everyone for being sympathetic.

DS actually slept through the night last night for the first time since Christmas so things may be looking up again. It's like he knew I was at breaking point!!!

WLI. That's my advice, that's my compete advice and you should start tomorrow or as soon as you can. Why battle on exhausting yourself even further when you don't have to? All the protein and movement and hydration will naturally follow, and you can start to feed and care for your body, but it's hard to start from a place where you can't get a handle on it alone.

By any chance, did you think 'the risk of regain is higher' meant if you stop WLIs it's higher than with dieting, rather than higher than if you keep taking the WLIs?

Being fat keeps me from being unhappy but there are more reasons for that than just the fat, I believe. The whole thing is rather complicated.

Ok. You aren’t fat or even particularly big. You’re just bigger than you want to be.

However, I do understand that when you don’t look like you want to, you don’t feel right and that affects your overall happiness.

I doubt you will qualify for WLIs as you’re not obese but I would imagine most of MN obtain them on the black market so…

In terms of practical advice, have you tried low carb/keto? It is the only thing that stops me craving sugar and it turns off “food noise” for me.

Oh my God, zombie I know but this pissed me off so much. There is a massive link between sleep deprivation and weight gain. Sleep deprivation changes your hormones and makes you hungrier. It also makes you eat more to try to get energy and you have less energy to move and motivate yourself to move. This is such an ignorant post.

Go on the 5/2 diet. Fast 2 days, eat sensible 5 days. It's a myth that you need to exercise to loose weight. Exercise might help you feel a bit better but running for 25 mins only burns around 300 calories. That's the same calories as a MacDonald's cheeseburger.. Which takes about 3 minutes to eat. You have got to be disciplined though.

Didn’t diet but started running just 2 miles per day. Took around 20 minutes when I finally could do it without stopping.

I wasn’t particularly over weight to begin with. But lost a stone over around 9months

I wasn’t eating excessively to begin with and my eating habits didn’t change but the weight did slowly melt away