Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that people should be able to take a hint?

203 replies

OtterlyMad · 03/04/2026 15:07

I’ve just experienced an awkward situation where an acquaintance (friend of a friend who I’ve known for years and see occasionally at parties, barbecues, etc.) invited me to meet up, I believe with the hope of us becoming friends. She’s really not my cup of tea so I made polite excuses but she just kept asking. Even when I ignored her she then prompted me for an answer a few days later. It was excruciating. In the end I was forced to be direct and basically say “thank you for the kind offer but I don’t think we have enough in common to be friends”. I knew she would take it badly no matter what because she’s incredibly sensitive, which is actually one of the reasons I don’t want to be friends. Well she never responded to that last message and ever since has been very cold and it’s awkward if we bump into each other in the street or at social gatherings. I do feel guilty about but I’m also frustrated at being the ‘bad guy’ in this situation and her not getting that I was clearly not interested when by most people’s standards I was being pretty obvious. If she’d just taken the hint then we could have just continued as friendly acquaintances and avoided all this awkwardness!

(For reference we’re both neurotypical white British women).

Anyone else had a similar experience? Or even experience of being on the other side? I never wanted to hurt her feelings but can’t see how it could have been avoided - apart from me accepting the invite, which I don’t think I should have to do.

OP posts:
Doone22 · 08/04/2026 11:25

OtterlyMad · 03/04/2026 15:29

I definitely don’t need warm or gushy I just don’t want it to be awkward for everyone else.

Out of interest, how do you think I should have declined the invite? Without just lying, as has been suggested.

You clearly don't understand the purpose of social lying. There's nothing wrong with it and it's perfectly acceptable. It's what we do not to hurt other people unnecessarily.
In the same vein as not telling someone their bum looks big in that outfit you would say yes it's great but actually this style would work even better...... Just learn some manners

ilovesooty · 08/04/2026 13:10

Doone22 · 08/04/2026 11:25

You clearly don't understand the purpose of social lying. There's nothing wrong with it and it's perfectly acceptable. It's what we do not to hurt other people unnecessarily.
In the same vein as not telling someone their bum looks big in that outfit you would say yes it's great but actually this style would work even better...... Just learn some manners

I don't think this kind of social lying is in the same vein as being diplomatic about other people's clothes choices.

WhatNoRaisins · 08/04/2026 13:19

The equivalent would be someone that kept on asking does my bum look big in this, again and again while wiggling their arse in your face despite all your attempts at deflection.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page