Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

I think this sounds a bit bonkers.

Wow the fact people have deemed you unreasonable shows the low hygiene standards some people have. You should always wash your hands after handling raw meat. It's gross not to.

@ItsOnlyHobnobs me or him?!

Didn’t he wash his hands in the sea??

YANBU. Washing hands after touching raw meat is a basic hygiene principle, but even if he disagreed that it was necessary or had been planning to wash them anyway and felt nagged or whatever it is, storming off in a huff is shitty behaviour. There was nothing stopping him from calmly and kindly explaining his side of things to you, except that he's disrespectful and stroppy.

What bugs are on raw bacon? It is already cured and is perfectly safe to even eat when ‘raw’, just like Parma ham, or Spanish jamón, for example

That well known surfactant, the ocean...

What people, the op only posted 4 minutes ago? 🤣
I would have expected him to wash his hands purely because it's not very nice to have raw meat on your hands. His reaction sounds over the top, but I think you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill too.

Bacon is not raw, it has been cured and possibly even smoked too.

If DH was fishing for crabs it's likely that his hands were in contact with lots of other "not very clean" things. As long as he wasn't planning to lick his hands or eat, it would surely make sense to wash hands when finished?

Are you always neurotic about hygiene? He was about to do crab fishing so his hands were going to get dirty anyway. If hand hygiene is such an issue, why don’t you carry wet wipes and/or hand sanitiser like most people and then no one needs to be sent to a pub to wash their hands. You have a 3yo, small children are continually getting their hands dirty. Fuss over nothing.

Does he understand it’s like touching raw
chicken?

it depends how you spoke to him, ‘don’t forget to wash your hands’ or ‘go and wash your hands immediately’ and tone - you aren’t his mother and maybe he didn’t need you to tell him?

The vote

@bunnypenny no we are very high up on the edge of estuary

Why didn't you bring sanitizing wipes if it bothers you more than it does him?

What if there had been no pub opposite or if the staff were fed up of it being used as a public toilet?

This - you’re crabbing I presume in UK waters. Pulling the line back from UK seas and handling everything that’s been in the water.

Honestly raw bacon is the least of your worries; have all of you been to wash your hands between each handling of the lines, nets, buckets?!?!?!?

@CookingFatCat I actually said I would feel
comfortable if he washed his hands afterwards as I was worried dd would put her hands in her mouth. He then huffed and puffed and was quite unpleasant and said I was over the top and crazy. I then said please don’t be unkind I just want to ensure dd isn’t exposed to raw meat. That’s when he stormed off muttering

Hi pub landlord, is it OK if i pop to wash my hands, the dw sent me.

Surely more awful to catch crabs?

I hope he stormed off sideways 🦀 🦀 🦀

Ready to eat meat products like ham and treated and packaged differently to meat that will be cooked. Bacon is not ready to eat, and will contain higher levels of bacteria that can be cooked off than a ready to eat ham slice.

Sounds a bit pointless in the middle of crab fishing - surely he would be touching the crab or the bait again very shortly? A thorough wash at the end sounds more sensible..

Maybe he’d have liked to enjoy his little girl doing an activity with him without being lectured? It sounds like he just got her set-up, and he was marched off to the pub toilets like a bold schoolchild?

Given he was touching crab buckets/nets, sand, sea water, crabs etc, a bit of bacon fat on his hands wasn’t going to kill anyone.

Enjoying time with his child and washing hands after everyone was done with crabbing was surely the way to go?

Bacon should be cooked before eating, and therefore hands should be washed after touching raw bacon. Even though it has been cured and possibly smoked, it's not fully cooked and is capable of carrying salmonella, listeria and other bacteria.

Standard supermarket bacon is not the same as something like prosciutto, which is not raw in the way bacon is. It has been heavily salted and left to cure in controlled conditions for months, a process which is hostile to harmful bacteria. Bacon is cured, but still moist and uncooked, and not aged for long enough to eliminate bacterial risk.

🤣

I'd have washed them in sea and used sanitiser. Well actually I'd have gone to the pub so I could order a cheeky pint!