Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

No you aren’t - most places don’t like it

I would absolutely wash my hands straight away after handling raw bacon when preparing food and before eating but I wouldn't think to do it before fishing. Maybe I'd rinse my hands in the water and apply hand sanitiser at best but going to a pub to carefully wash your hands before continuing to do something which gets your hands dirtier like fishing for crabs doesn't make sense I'm afraid.

Bacon rashers sold in shop chilled cabinets is raw. I think you are getting mixed up with Parma ham and salami.

So everytime he handled the nets and the contents of the nets did you make him run back and wash his hands? He's not your child.

I suppose it depends on the level of involvement the toddler was going to have, but in general I think if you have the option of handing children and equipment with or without the risk that there's salmonella on your hands, better off doing it without, even if the activity itself will also mean hands need washed afterwards.

However, based on this thread I see we are a very relaxed nation when it comes to the issue of food borne bacteria...!

Sorry OP but it was an over the top request, unless he was about to shove his bacony hands into your DD's mouth or something. If you're that paranoid then crabbing probably isn't for you!

I think this would make an excellent insult.

'Sod off you bacony crab bucket'!!

OP is his wife, not his mother. To tell an adult to wash their hands (and it was cured meat, not chicken) is infantilising. And to suggest he does it in the pub is also cheeky AF.

if he makes a habit of reacting like this, do you make a habit of talking to him like that? If you are bothered, carry sanitiser

That. And you sent him off just as he'd got to the fun bit that he wanted to share with his daughter.
Next time you can do the messy prep and let him have the fun.

In my opinion it's really not like eating raw chicken which would be dangerous. I often nibble on raw bacon whilst chopping it up. I think the op is neurotic

It's raw in the sense that it hasn't been cooked with heat, but it's cured with salt (and often also with smoke). So it's not the same as something like raw pork chops.

Bacon is 'raw meat' only in the same sense that smoked salmon and gravadlax are 'raw fish' - it hasn't been cooked, but it has been cured.

The chances of becoming unwell even from eating a rasher of raw bacon are extremely low, and the chances of becoming unwell from handling it to bait a crab line are even lower. You'd pick up more dangerous bacteria from touching pretty much anything else on the beach than you would from touching the raw bacon and the OP was being incredibly OTT expecting her DH to and wash his hands in a pub.

Touching raw bacon and not washing hands is unreasonable to me! Trichenella, e.coli and even hepatitis E can be on it to name a few. And then interacting with a juvenile immune system. No OP you was not unreasonable if he handled raw bacon.

Small children build their immune systems by touching all manner of things and putting dirty fingers in their mouths.

Unless there's some reason why someone is immuno compromised, leave them be and wash hands when you get home/before you next eat.

Yes, it's a bit neurotic of you. Whilst there are bacteria, there are on everything in life and the likelihood of anything coming of it is entirely minimal. Relax a little.

You were outside, crabbing. Hands will be dirty. Everything will be dirty. Zero point in washing hands mid crabbing.

He wasn't right to storm off, but I question whether he really did, or just quietly muttered about the insanity of the request while going to do it anyway.

She is the mother of a three year old who she's trying to keep safe. It's not infantilising to remind your partner of something they clearly have not thought of themselves. Some of you have a bloody weird chip on your shoulder if you think that every instance in which your partner suggests you do something is infantilising.

And in any event - if he felt infantilised, a normal and decent way to behave would be to say something like 'Thanks for the reminder, but I actually think it's fine not to wash them since I'm going to be grubbing around in an estuary anyway. I can do it if you'd feel more comfortable with it, but I don't think it's necessary. Let's pack hand sanitiser for next time.' Not calling OP names, insulting her, and storming off like a nasty twat.

Bacon is much more like chicken than a real cured meat - you can google this with astonishing ease if you don't believe me. See what comes up when you type in 'should I wash my hands after touching raw bacon'.

But why didn’t she have sanitiser if she was that bothered? Going into a pub to wash your hands and buying nothing is cheeky AF.

If someone told me to wash my hands I would react strongly too

Perhaps your DD is so ill because she's not exposed to any dirt.

Opinions are not facts...

this. Also as people have said bacon is "cooked" like smoked salmon, prosciutto, etcet. is cooked. and yes, you are out with a child and not carrying wipes?

If it was chicken I would have expected him to wash his hands - but this is bacon, which is cured. You could eat it raw if you wanted to.

I’d have rinsed my hands in the water and wiped them on my jeans. Just me? 🤣 Handling the crabs is probably just as risky hygiene wise.

For all you "bacon is cooked! Eating it raw doesn't make you sick! I inexplicably have D&V nine times a year!" lot...

None of the crabbing equipment will be sterilised (including the crabs). How often are they expected to wash their hands?

It is definitely NOT safe to eat raw bacon. Even though cured and sometimes smoked, it's still considered a 'raw meat' product.

We used to go crabbing all the time, if we washed our hands everytime we touched the raw bacon, we wouldn't have enough time for crabbing.

There's no point washing your hands after putting it in, you'll need to add more at some point and you'll be touching the crabs and the net that's been in the sea water.

As long as he keeps his fingers out his, yours and your child's mouth there not reason to wash his hands until you've finished.

Top tip for next time, take wipes with you.