AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

[LovelyBranches]

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

So she'll get the chance once she's year 6 then?

If so that's fair.

Of course they should audition- they’ll want the best for the show and if your daughter wasn’t chosen then so be it - maybe the others were better singers .

You need to accept that neither her nor you will always get what you want !

all of year 6 are allowed to take part. DD is in year 4 and all of her friends have been picked, only 3 children have been rejected-one of them is my DD and now she has none of her friends to eat with.

She’s 9! School should be about fostering the things you love rather than making you feel shit. Publicly rejecting a 9 year old in front of your peers-especially one who loves singing is horrible.

Rather than stopping all choir auditions wouldn’t it be better if kids (and their parents) learnt how to deal with small disappointments in life?

I didn’t get into choir in Y5. I practised at home with my mum and got in next time I auditioned. I would say it was a good learning point in failing and trying again.

Auditioning is perfectly reasonable, same as they will pick the best footballers for the football team or the fastest runners for a race.

It is a shame that she is one of a few left out, and a bit strange when she is clearly a good singer and been involved before.

I’d be more inclined to agree with you if the school were picking the top 3 children in the year.

Leaving 3 children out in the year feels like exclusion.

Was there a limit on numbers? Due to competition rules/space on a bus to get there/costumes?
If no, then they ideally would have let everyone in who wanted to do it and could hold a tune.

She wasn't good enough, that's hard to hear Im sure but it's the truth.
You won't be doing your daughter any favours with the way you're behaving.

While harsh it is a lesson that they have to learn that they won't be picked for everything but what matters is that they do their best and if they work hard they might be picked next time. Primary sports teams pick the best kids for matches.

It's possible that the choir was limited in size and they could only have a certain number in each lower year group.

It is sad that she won't have friends at meal times - hopefully this is only short term.

This isn't really about auditioning for a choir though (and I do think that primary school choirs should be open to anyone who wants to sing). It's about the school allocating a limited number of spaces at an event. The way they did it seems as good as any other and sounds like she will get a chance in Year 6.

Yes that sounds quite difficult but you should now support her to get over it and not make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Wow, so being concerned that my child who is normally a happy little girl come home crying for two days in a row, and having no one to sit by to eat lunch or play with is somehow wrong?

You honestly want to stop all choir auditions because your daughter didn’t get picked? Would you propose the same if a child didn’t get picked for the school football team? It’s a lesson in resiliance and perseverance surely
and how the world works.

3 children in the entire year? Or just 3 children who auditioned and didn't make the cut.

Why can't she eat lunch and play with the other two children?

This sums it up perfectly, I do wonder how many children can't cope with dissapointment because their parents can't

So they’re taking the whole of year 4 except 3 children? Is that right?

So you didn't have any problem with competition between 9 year olds when your daughter won, but do now she's lost?

DD has an unusually small year, there are under 20 children in her entire year. The three children were of the group that usually go to choir, but most of the year go to choir.

They’re practising every lunchtime for a show that’s on in 9 months time?!

When DD was part of the Eisteddfod there were no auditions. Nobody was excluded

It’s a Welsh language school-that’s the culture

Can I just clarify - only three didn’t get picked from the whole of year 4? Or only three didn’t get picked from those who auditioned from that year? Quite a big difference.

I do think that’s a bit shitty if it’s the whole of year 4 bar three children.

In general, yes even primary schools will have various things where you either do or don’t get picked, and it does teach them resilience over time. What made me annoyed was when they’d say selection criteria for a certain thing was x, but then when it came to it, it was y. Or if they said “you won’t get picked if you don’t behave, and then ignored really bad behaviour if it was from a child they wanted to pick (as in they were good at the thing in question but had behaved very badly - why say behaviour comes into it if it doesn’t?)