AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

[LovelyBranches]

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

Op I agree with you. Even if parts are limited they shouldn't leave out just 3 kids out of 15. That's pretty crappy. Teaching resilience is fine. Teaching a child that they won't be selected because they aren't the best or among the best is also fine. Teaching a child they are at the bottom of ability at something that they (I assume) regularly practice and put an effort in does not teach resilience. It teaches them that their effort and work was useless.

If this was the theatre world I could understand. It’s not. It’s a state school which has a legal duty to include children.

Not to a activity with limited space. There has to be a cut off somewhere.

Would you expect them to include more than 5 on a 5 a side team? (8 with subs perhaps).

Would you expect them to include more than 15 to a theatre trip with 15 seats available?

My daughter auditioned for quite a few instrumental groups. Some were successful, some weren't. She (and I) just sucked it up and she tried again. would never have queried any decisions even if I thought they were unfair.

True story - An irate parent actually went to the music teacher's home demanding to know why her daughter hadn't been chosen for the choir 🙄

Which is why that comment was directed to a real theatre mum. Not you.

You are coming across a little OTT about this now.

She was in the choir

I find myself wondering whether your response to the situation has made it more difficult for her to deal with it.

She was unsuccessful this time. These things happen. And the teacher's decision shouldn't be driven by who eats with whom at lunchtime.

Those are quite insane comparisons, OP. If an adult were joining a choir that auditioned, and all the people they auditioned got in bar three, they would deal with exactly the same situation. If they were trying out for a weightlifting team, they wouldn’t make it in unless they met the criteria.

My son’s enthusiasm for football outstrips his skill level. The local teams he’s been playing for since he turned nine will let anyone join and train, but you absolutely compete for your place on match teams. It’s taught him a lot.

Op I agree it's really awful of the school to do that. It does come across like exclusion for the 3 that didn't make the cut.
I would speak to her teacher and explain your concerns in a calm manner. If it is going to knock her confidence not being part of the group or having no friends to sit with at lunch it may affect her other school work and behaviour.

Just sour grapes

they can’t pick everyone.

I enjoy singing but I’m that bad I ended up as the page turner for the pianist in primary school

I know a parent who has shown video footage of a Year 2 race on Sports Day to the staff to query the result and get their child their child their rightful 3rd place sticker 🥲

Respectfully, what I’m seeing here is a parent who’s catastrophising like mad and not modelling resilience for her child.

What proportion of the y5 choir goers were picked?
Also at a tangent, but how is there a 2 form entry with only 20 kids in a year group?

I’m usually pretty relaxed about this stuff - my daughter is a dancer so I can’t get upset every time she doesn’t pass an audition. But months of rehearsals and leaving only 3 kids out to eat lunch alone for months would bother me a lot.

@LittleBinChicken that actually happened at a school I taught at too. The wee boy was more concerned with his mum making a show of herself than he was about getting a sticker!

Lol I got told by my local pub landlady that I should sing on karaoke at closing time, get rid of the punters fast

Honestly I was dying inside. What is the actual matter with these parents?!

There isn’t two forms, there is only one

It's not just 3 children. There are 8 children in year 4 not in this event. @LovelyBranches hasn't said how many year 5 children are also not in this choir.

Her daughter wasn't left to eat lunch alone. Her friend finished her lunch before going to choir practice. OPs child then sat with another child to finish lunch.

As a former music teacher, you are absolutely right OP.
Shame on the school's teachers if they are unable to bring all their pupils to a level where they can sing well enough to take part. It's not rocket science.

It bothers me too. This will probably be considered a drip feed but we’ve been in a similar situation before.

When my DD first used her wheelchair her teacher thought inclusion meant sitting her underneath a higher table on her own. DD wanted help to move to the same table as her friends-not to sit on a table by herself.

And there's 30 spaces on the TV show and 36 kids audition, what happens then?

That situation isn't similar at all.

Was the table provided by an OT for your DD to use? In the teachers defence, if it was, that's what they'd been trained and shown to use.

What do you mean by wanted help to move herself next to her friends? The teacher moving the wheelchair, or your DD, or the furniture. This sounds like a genuine case of misunderstanding and not malicious.

Resilience as a concept is something I have a problem with so you may have a point but it’s not as profound as you think it is.

Resilience is often used in the workplace to justify giving the workforce more work with fewer resources.

Resilience in this instance means teaching my 9 year old to sit there and look happy about something that makes her unhappy.

I suspect she won't have that lovely reputation for much longer if you teach her that she should stamp her feet like you're doing because things don't go her way. It's life. Both you and your daughter need to gain a bit of resilience.