AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

[LovelyBranches]

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

Life is unfair sometimes.

As parents you talk and support your kids through it. It's an important life lesson.

Instead you are throwing your toys out the pram.

They had a limit on spaces. They had to exclude a few. However they did it, it would be viewed as unfair by whoever lost out. Should they have drawn lots?!

They've picked the best kids. Your kid wasn't one of them. Maybe she wails like a strangled cat despite loving singing. Either way, you are where you. Deal with it without all the additional drama.

Resilience in this instance means teaching my 9 year old to sit there and look happy about something that makes her unhappy.

No, it’s about acknowledging her disappointment and getting her to move on from it.

Resilience in this instance means teaching my 9 year old to sit there and look happy about something that makes her unhappy.

She can look how she likes about it. Life is going to be unfair and make her unhappy at times. The best thing to do is work with her on how to deal with those feelings and identify if the battle is one worth fighting. This choir one really isn't.

Resilience is accepting that you don't always get what you think you should and moving on from it.

I'd ignore the ridiculous comments you are getting here and speak to the school about how upset she's feeling.
I don't think it's necessarily wrong to have auditions but to exclude 3 children out of 20 is horrible.

It really isn’t. As a pp said, it’s about modelling for her that it’s possible to let yourself feel disappointment or sadness about not getting to do something or missing an opportunity, and then let it go.

It’s actually 8 children out of 20, not 3. RTFT

I kind of agree, but it's 8 out of 20 ( not 3).

5 of which didn’t audition and didn’t want to be part of it

I seem to recall reading somewhere that Dua Lipa didn’t make it into her school choir as the music teacher didn’t think she sang well enough. So your DD shouldn’t think all hope is lost!

FWIW, my DC’s school has tow choirs. The one you have to audition to be in that only a a few kids from each year group are in, and then the open one that everyone can join.

Respectfully, we can't do everything we want. You say your daughter has had solos - what about those kids who haven't been given that chance?

The school may only have a set amount of spaces. They may have looked at your daughter, her previous solos and decided it was time to let another child have a turn?

My DD has solo’s in her singing group outside of school

Sounds like she has plenty of opportunity to shine.

Like I said, she's had solos. Other children may not have had that opportunity.

Unfortunately, we don't get to do everything we want. At 9 years old, it's a good age to learn that...

But not feel included. She’s not looking to be a solo artist at school. She just wants to be like her friends.

We can't be included in everything!!!

Have you even read the thread? Dd has a physical disability with multiple set backs and has been a wheelchair user. At 9 she has already very much learned that she can’t always get what she wants.

Not everything, simply the same things her school friends have access to

Your daughters disability has nothing to do with the choir audition process. It's sad she's had to go through surgeries etc but please don't say she deserves a place in a limited number choir due to her disability.

Are you now suggesting she’s been left out of the choir because of ableist discrimination?

Perhaps we should dust? We could clear stadiums!

Do you think they picked children who could benefit from a place, rathet than the best singers? Those that don't otherwise have confidence to sing etc?
To be honest if she wants to work in theatre auditioning will be a big part of it, as will not getting the part.
I was a dance and theatre kid and audition rejections were a big part of my life. I grew a very thick skin and you have to be able to deal with that rejection and build on it as part of that lifestyle. I remember auditoning for three days straight with hundreds of kids and the royal ballet audition was brutal. I didnt get in but was selected for summer school. In the end I found boys more interesting and gave it all up. But that ability to persist in the face of rejection has been a huge asset throuhlgh my whole life.

YANBU op.

Ignore the resilience tossers. I’m all about kids having grit and resilience but this sounds like competitive elitism which has no place in a state primary school, during the school day. Schools are meant to be inclusive for ALL.

I agree they should have included the entire cohort of 5/6 pupils (not year 4 - they’ll have their time). Just imagine how they’ll be when the choir is on tv and a handful are left out? That’s a dreadful way to treat primary age children. I would be furious if my child was treated like that.

No. I’m saying that having experienced ableism and multiple distressing surgeries she has precociously developed strategies of learning how to deal with things like exclusion.

actually under the Equality Act you can access positive discrimination. Not that I’m arguing for this to be applied in this case, just simple inclusion would be enough.