I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

All my friends talk about is being ‘peri.’ It’s so boring! I’ve never felt the need to talk about my periods all the time. Awareness is one thing but Jesus, talk about overkill!

And of course lecture those of us who don't subscribe to the " All WILL be doom gloom and awfulness and if you dare so much as question it you have no empathy, are a misogynist, are smug, are a liar etc etc etc."
No one knows what they will experience for sure until they come to it. It's not rocket science fgs.

Oh god. Same here. Last week I was invited to a peri-menopause group so people could all complain about their husband, their kids and ‘menopause brain’. At work (team made up of Middle Aged + women) every other one says ‘Sorry, Menopause brain!’ Even though I had to chase them down for the same boring admin stuff 6 years ago too…

Everything has to be a ‘thing’ these days. No one just gets on with it.

But you say WHEN the fun starts WHEN you have to dig dip. It's not WHEN, it's IF.

Did you ask them what was wrong 6 years ago 😆

I hate the “menopause brain” thing too. You’re going through the menopause, you haven’t had a lobotomy.

I'm 64 and have been menopausal for 14 years. I'm also sick of hearing people bang on about it and I think it's bad for younger women.

I totally get that some women have a difficult menopause just as some women have difficult periods or a hard time conceiving but it's not inevitable. My menopause was a few hot flushes and a couple of floods over a period of about 3 years. I barely noticed it happening.

It's like me assuming that because I have poor eyesight, every woman my age will have bad eyesight.

Younger women out there - don't panic. There is absolutely no need to assume your menopause will definitely be unbearable. And if it is you will deal with it.

Agreed. From another 54 year old

I really worry about this too. Everything is put down to being peri or menopausal at the moment and there is a huge push on doctors to change their attitudes towards it and recognise the symptoms, which I do agree with but I worry the balance has gone too far the other way

Yes because it wasn't an IF for me. As I've already said.

What's wrong with women being made aware if what COULD happen? You want us left in the dark like our mother's and grandmother's?! Nice.

No but no one has said they “want everyone in the dark”. Everyone understands that the greater awareness of menopause is a net positive.

Some of us are just tired of the relentless catastrophising and the fact that everything in the world that goes wrong in a woman’s life is attributable to menopause.

The other risk of course is that women themselves believe and talk themselves into a worst case scenario and doing so they limit their lives and opportunities. ‘I couldn’t take that promotion because of my menopause fog brain’, ‘I can’t go on that holiday because the menopause it making me too anxious’, and so on and so forth.

Or we give ourselves a break and not panic that we're losing it.

My experience hasn't been like that. I'm sorry if yours has 🤷‍♀️

I read post after post on here from someone who is either being treated like shit by her husband/partner or her employer or kids who will pose the question: "Is this out of order or is it peri?" Or "AIBU and peri?" The assumption is that if you have any backbone or want to push back on anything at all in your life it must be "peri".

'Menopausal dressing' has infiltrated the Style and Beauty board too.

As if we're all meant to understand what that means - I assume it's code for being fat around the middle and running hot but I don't really know.

No i am not going to provide links and no I don't care if people believe me or not but I have lost count of the amount of threads where in the first line or two there is mention of 'not sure if I am unreasonable as I am hormonal' or words to that effect whether it is due to periods, pregnancy, menopause etc. so how many women themselves don't own their behaviour or thoughts but blame hormones

I’ve found this thread educational and helpful. I thought there was something wrong with me because at 49 I’ve not really experienced anything yet. I didn’t know that was common. So thanks OP.

@pinkspeakers · Yesterday 14:58* *

Oh, just stop it. I'm 54, having lots of genuine fun and not "digging deep" at all. Yes, being informed is useful. But this kind of message about how "shit" life is likely to be in your 50s is not.

Completely agree.

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · Yesterday 01:30

It's fascinating how many posters have chosen a thread titled 'I am so sick of hearing about menopause' to come and tell us all about their menopause.

@Drippingfeed Yesterday 17.54

And of course lecture those of us who don't subscribe to the " All WILL be doom gloom and awfulness - and if you dare to question it you have no empathy, are a misogynist, are smug, are a liar etc etc etc."

No one knows what they will experience for sure until they come to it. It's not rocket science fgs.

100% this. ^ It's getting tiresome now. The women who had an easy time (or relatively easy time) during menopause, and didn't suffer, are allowed to post their views. How rude for people to dismiss other womens 'lived experiences' just because theirs wasn't the same. Everyone is allowed an opinion.

The women who had a relatively easy time during menopause (and didn't even experience 'peri' because it wasn't a thing when they were in their 40s/50s,) are not telling the women who had a hard time that they are lying, rude, trying to scare other women, or anything else negative. I bet these meno-doom posters are the same women who couldn't wait to say to a newly pregnant first-time mum 'I'd rather you than me, and I wouldn't go through the baby stage again if you paid me,' whilst enlightening them with horror stories of childbirth!

NO-ONE IS SAYING that women should be kept in the dark! Women who didn't have a hard time during menopause (and sailed through it relatively symptom free) are stating that it is not necessarily doom and gloom, and some women will get little or no symptoms. These women are just as entitled to voice their opinions without being shut down, called liars, and being accused of lacking empathy and being 'smug!'

Of course no one is saying they shouldn't voice that. It's important for people to know there are a variety of experiences, just as there are in pregnancy, birth and the temperament of babies and children, and what remedies there are if necessary. I don't think people are calling you liars, or I'm not anyway. Everyone knows experiences vary.

But to be fair, a lot of people on this thread and others do seem a bit smug. Like the ones where posters are insistent that they had a great experience due to their fantastic diet and exercise and disregard the women who have great diets and exercise regimes only to have them fall apart when they're sleeping an hour a night, or under crushing anxiety. I didn't have those symptoms, nor did I have brain fog, but I can well imagine they would be terrifying and debilitating.

And a lot of posters do seem to lack empathy. As I said earlier, I had a relatively easy time, partly because I had the means and the knowledge to advocate for myself and get what I needed. Many women don't. I'm grateful for the information I had and I think the more women who have it, the more we all benefit.

And I'd also like to add that it's vitally important for women who sail through it without the need for hormonal intervention to be aware that they need to keep an eye on their bone density.

Something many women are still unaware of until it's later than it should be.

Agree with everything you've said.

For me, some of the responses remind me of a nasty bully of a boss I once had who would frequently tell her (all younger female) team that there was a lot of 'fuss' about menopause and she had sailed through it by doubling up on evening primrose oil. I don't think she even believed this, the whole point was to subtly warn us that she wouldn't tolerate any 'fuss' from us if we didn't 'sail through' it, and not to expect any empathy.

I’ve always interpreted that as more, when talking to other women there’s recognition and acknowledgement that a factor that may be a contributor - or may not - is our hormones and that we can say that out loud to other women as most will, to a degree, understand?

On the plus side I took receipt of a delivery of magnesium today after hearing evangelical reports of sleep improvement … watch this space > #CantWaitForBedtime< 😄

It’s hard to keep an eye on your bone density unless you have risk factors or go private.