I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

Totally agree.

It's great that it's not taboo these days and that there is more info available for when you need it.

It's fucking annoying that now I am 43 and friends are of similar ages that it seems to be the sole topic of conversation - boring!!

It won't necessarily be shit. One or two minor issues, aside from that I sailed through with nothing extra needed. Now several years post.
And my mum had a terrible time so even familyhistoryis no guarantee..

A lot of men are misogynistic, yes.

And?

Men's hormones cause far more issues at my work, but we never have talks about that.

This post sums up the worst of the Menobores phenomenon to me.

Your 18yo daughter has been going through puberty - or Reverse Menopause if you like - for half her life but you're busy telling her all about your own woes and writing her a little keepsake in case she forgets how self absorbed you were back then.

Well, I can assure you I am a 35 year old woman and I suffer from Hashimoto’s (autoimmune condition) and PCOS. So I am quite well versed with women’s health issues…

Love this post!

Not necessarily no. You have no idea how, or indeed if, OP will be affected.

Well, it IS important to me. That's precisely why I can't just tune it out. I'm 45. Have some symptoms but very much at an age where anything could happen next. It's highly relevant to me. And as such I certainly welcome info and want to know that I can access medical care when I need it.

What I do not want is to be continually reminded of this topic, which isn't an inherently positive one, at every turn. Someone mentioned death upthread - well, I don't want to think about that constantly either.

I don't want friends thinking that what I'd love as a birthday present is a book about perimenopause as a pp reported or for people to suggest in a wink-wink nudge-nudge fashion that it's hormones if I'm annoyed or upset about something. I could really do without all the 'well just WAIT until 50!' comments.

It's infuriating to have people accuse anyone who would like the menopause chat dialled down a little of being unaffected by it or, worse, misogynist. I do not want silence on it, but that is very different from feeling like I can't escape this topic at the moment. Frankly it has a very negative impact on my mood.

I have indeed talked about with my peers and older sister and older relatives.
Not because it “got a hold of me” and I desperately needed an outlet, rather it was a significant period of change and exchanging experiences was useful.
No great drama

I went to a mixed comp and we also had special period talks with free-bees. This would have been 1982-83.

I am 52 and, like you, had no symptoms and fairly regular periods until Jan. I have a proactive GP in Aus who called about my normal mammogram but also told me off for not seeing her for 18 months, she likes yearly reviews after 50 which is fair enough. We agreed I’d have my hormones checked with bloods, my first blood test in about 10 years.

I have also been unsure about HRT but in the last few months I’ve not had another period and have had night sweats and hot flashes, seemingly out of nowhere. My hormone levels are post rather than peri menopausal. Based on symptoms, I’ve just started HRT.

Which is a long-winded way of saying, I was completely asymptomatic until my periods actually stopped, and then I got some symptoms.

I do agree though, that labelling every emotion a middle-aged woman feels as “peri” is unhelpful. I remember a crazy thread on here where a middle-aged woman was expected, by her husband, to stop everything and actively play with her step-grandchild, every single day. The visits were every afternoon and if she tried to get on with other stuff her husband would follow her around, carrying the toddler and wail, “Why don’t you want to play with me anymore?”

At least half of the posters said: “Ooh, it’s your hormones, you’re in peri at least, you’re feeling less nurturing”, rather than appreciating that the DH was being a controlling twat.

I was absolutely fine until I hit 50. I could even lose weight fairly easily. Now it’s the other way and I have put lots of weight on. I have had sleepless nights and depressive thoughts. Going on HRT helped stabilise my moods and give me my sleep back. I feel a lot better. I was glad I could just go to the GP and get it without any issues and I knew enough of what to ask for.

Exactly! Women who did NOT have a rough time during menopause, and didn't even have a peri-menopause at all (because it wasn't a thing when they were younger,) are just as entitled to post about how they had an easy time, and they're allowed to say that not ALL women will have an awful time.

Why do the women who had a rough time act like only their experience is valid? And only THEY should be able to talk about it?

Other women need to know that not every woman has a rough time during menopause, or 'peri.' It clearly doesn't suit some women to hear this, but other women who sailed through menopause, (and didn't suffer from 'peri' at all,) shouldn't be told to keep quiet. Our opinions and views and experiences are as valid as women who had a bad menopause.

.

Again. Why do you think it will " get hold of " the OP?
Its this kind of presumptive shit that pisses people off

100% This!

What on earth is privileged about going to a girls school?

It's not always that easy to avoid the not so nice people.

Another 'just you wait!' post. Must be the 20th one on this thread! Maybe the OP will want to talk about it if when she gets to it, but she doesn't want to keep hearing about it now. What's wrong with that?

I can understand this.
How outraged we get when we get angry, and some bloke says "aw, is someone on their period?"
Now everything is peri/menopause, and gets blamed on that. Pissed off that some guy barged past me in a shop... "aw, is it peri?", and that comes from women too.

DM had hot flushes, and that was it. She never went on HRT... and not because she was a martyr and powered through... she just didn't get affected that bad. But like a few PP said, you get accused of lying if you say it was not bad for you.
My best friend is mid 50s and having every symptom in the book on top of long periods with flooding. It has been horrendous for her, and it took her years to be taken seriously enough to be offered HRT... and it has not done much for her so far.
My FB feed often has ads for billions of supplements aimed at middle aged women. Total money spinners and preying on anxieties about a normal part of aging.

I appreciate the awareness but at 50 do object to the menopause marketing bandwagon. It’s hard to get objective information sometimes because drs with social media presence all share “facts” but also try to sell you things. I am
bombarded by ads for supplements etc. I am also a hypocrite because I have fallen for the marketing and bought supplements and do feel pretty good, it could be placebo effect or they could really work but I am afraid to stop in case it is the latter!

You know what’s great about the menopause? Once you get there, you care much less about loads of things. Like people spouting shit on the internet, for example.

I agree with you OP.

(I am also one of those people who moans about menopause. I bore myself with it sometimes 🤣🤣)

I'm with you OP, its EVERYWHERE, and I'm the target audience.
I do also worry that 'real' health problems could be missed due to the 'peri/Meno effect'. My mum thought it was crazy 🤪 !

Its great to have lots of info and be aware that there's help out there but I hate the Menopause being an excuse for everything and for businesses to sell you shit you don't need. We've just left 'the sanitary product' tax behind and now we're being flogged loads of new shit x

P.S. its not that bad (personal experience).
P.P.S Aging is a gift and some people dont get so embrace it x