I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

I don't know, I'm 50 and still not a fan of arseholes peddling misinformation..

Not you, obviously!

Oh, I had a rage phase, for sure. Now, I can’t be arsed. I engage for as long as I’m enjoying it. Then once I’ve had enough, I stop.

This sums up exactly how I feel. I feel like every post I now see on Linkedi is about this, or breathwork, or another person who's retrained as an executive bloody coach.

A lot of it is just bumpf - No, I dont want to "share" with my colleagues. I want something of substance on the health plan.

Hopefully she will and tell you all you were wrong.

Don't be. Good news is no news.

'Everyone' does no such thing.

It's far, far more misogynistic to scare younger women like you to death than to pop your head above the parapet and say 'Might not happen'

Totally agree.. to be honest it didn’t really bother me and perimenopause wasn’t a thing

Oh boo hoo, having to hear about it. Get back to me when your hair starts falling out in clumps and you’re told this won’t get better. Hair miniaturisation and loss is a natural part of menopause. Some women go bald.

perhaps you’ll be lucky and all you’ll need to do is piss and moan on the Internet about how the mere idea of menopause is an inconvenience.

Coulnt agree more. In the past it was never mentioned,and maybe it shoulf have been. But society has gone from one extreme to another.
Not everyone suffers.And many women prefer not to discuss it. It is even appearing in East Enders as a story line. Cant escape.

It's fascinating how many posters have chosen a thread titled 'I am so sick of hearing about menopause' to come and tell us all about their menopause.

I am in my mid 70s and was never badly effected by menopause apart from at the beginning where I got snappy and not very nice to the family. I went to GP and asked for hrt and got it. It astounds me how most women now decide to suffer instead. I do think that GPs may be a little less willing to give it these days but just go to a different one. Hrt does change lives for the better. Apologies to those who can't take it for medical reasons by the way.

I just ignore it except when women use it as an excuse to act badly I am going through it myself and not for one second do I use it as excuse for anything

I'm concerned that potentially serious health issues are going to be missed because the concept of the menopause and peri menopause has become so all encompassing that women are going to expect to feel horrendous from about 35- and assume any symptoms they get are menopause related.

I sincerely hope she does for her sake. Meanwhile it’s a good idea to not complain about people discussing things that affect them but not you personally. I’m glad it’s talked about so openly. I’m of a generation where periods were never discussed and this caused serious issues for me as I didn’t realise what happened to me was not normal. Whenever anything is discussed that doesn’t affect me I either ignore it or try and learn about other peoples experiences so I can be a supporter. My menopause journey so far has been tricky at times but open conversations have helped me navigate the experience and improve my life considerably.

We had a menopause awareness talk to my team at work and I feel conflicted about it. It was good in that the symptoms were discussed but it was delivered in a way that implied all middle aged women turn into angry, moody forgetful monsters and everyone else just has to put up with it. I thought the men and younger people in my team would be looking at me and the other middle aged women in the team in a different light and see us as more of a hindrance than a positive.

I'm late 40s and had some tiredness issues in the last year because my work was mentally exhausting and for a long time I had no time to exercise. I was saying to a friend that I needed to find a way to push through and get back to exercise, because while my instinct was to veg on the couch when worn out, I know from experience that I'll have so much more energy once I get back to regular workouts.

Menopause, was the reply. Which was very frustrating because I had literally just described my exact issue.

Well, I finally managed to get my arse in gear and start incorporating running into my week and it turned out to be mental exhaustion compounded by lack of exercise and fuck all to do with my middle aged lady hormones. Just as I knew it was.

I think some people do definitely have a difficult time during the menopause.

I think for some people menopause is difficult from a mental health standpoint because there are so many changes, with a variety of implications. This isn’t nothing.

I think some people do exaggerate their symptoms.

I think there are some people who like creating the drama around themselves.

Why do the women who had a rough time act like only their experience is valid? And only THEY should be able to talk about it?

That's the MN way with everything though, have a relatively straight forward pregnancy, have a relatively 'easy' baby etc and one's 'smug' for mentioning it! Being able to mange a baby and a toddler is another 'smug' thing, these days the ability to get on with it seems lost in the constant need for 'support'!

I'm torn on this:

I do think its fundamentally a good thing that we're able to talk about the menopause openly. Greater visibility and awareness has helped millions of women and is leading to it being taken more seriously. It's no longer some hideous taboo which no one can ever mention.

BUT the thing that worries me about the obsession with menopause at the moment is that its become a catch-all excuse/explanation for everything that goes wrong in a woman's life.

I read post after post on here from someone who is either being treated like shit by her husband/partner or her employer or kids who will pose the question: "Is this out of order or is it peri?" Or "AIBU and peri?" The assumption is that if you have any backbone or want to push back on anything at all in your life it must be "peri".

As others have pointed out, there's a long tradition of linking any attempt by a woman to stand her grand in any aspect of her life with "hormones", first menstruation and pregnancy related hormonal changes, as with the Victorian obsession with "hysteria", and now the bloody menopause.

I want to shake people who want to use menopause to shove all their problems under the carpet.

Greater awareness of the impact that menopause has on a woman, mentally and physically, is good. Turning it into another explanation for why you have boundaries in your life is a really regressive step. It should be possible both to be perimenopausal and to have critical faculties and a sense of when you're being pushed around.

Or even worse doctors assume it
Which they do in my experience

I really don't see that. I think if you go on a thread where the OP is something like, AIBU to ask if anyone's surprised by how easy this parenting thing is? you're going to be received enthusiastically. If you go on one where the OP is, my vagina looks like something the dog vomited up, my stitches are infected, the baby hasn't slept more than an hour and won't latch, my breasts are red hot and throbbing, how does anyone survive this? less so.

This is a support site, after all.

Oh, just stop it. I'm 54, having lots of genuine fun and not "digging deep" at all. Yes, being informed is useful. But this kind message about how "shit" life is likely to be in your 50s is not.

It was all over for me at 55. I expect I will be accused of being smug now.

no, i won't stop it. This is MY lived experience. You have yours which seems to be entirely different; congratulations for you. In between the 'digging deep', I also have lots of genuine fun too...thanks to people/friends/family who are educated and understand the difficulty that some women experience.