AIBU to be stressed and annoyed if DH took my house keys?

[Mum18283]

I just need to vent. Think DH has accidentally taken my house keys to work so I’m stuck at home, nice plans for the day are kaput. I know he’s generally busy and on his feet so I sent him a message and called his work phone during lunch but no answer. Just feeling unable to enjoy the day and stressed, wondering if he has them which I think is most likely, or I lost them somewhere else which is obviously a big problem.

Do you think he did it deliberately? Would he usually respond?

Sounds a bit suspicious but could be innocent.

My keys have a big jellycat bear attached so can’t be taken by accident.

I'd be stressed that we didn't get a spare set cut for this very reason.

YANBU. My DH is like this too and it’s fucking infuriating. An adult man should be able to look after his own stuff and not take someone else’s keys because he can’t be bothered keeping track of his own.

DH once did this to me when the only working garage door buzzer was on my keyring. Why did he do this? He is a lazy unorganised sod who can’t be arsed keeping track of his own stuff. Come school run time, I found myself with a car I could not get out of the garage, having to ring DD’s primary school to apologise because I could not get there in time.

Why was there only one working buzzer, you ask? Because DH had l put his somewhere and couldn’t find it, the spare one had broken, and he had also failed to let me know this so that I could make sure we ordered a new one. I hadn’t realised until the crucial moment that he had the only working buzzer with him 100 miles away.

I have contemplated divorce over stuff like this many a time 😬

It’s not deliberate - they do look similar by colour but if you look it’s obvious who’s is who’s.

I’ve spent the day when not stressing and looking, shopping for an AirTag and holder so I can locate them next time. Might get a big fluorescent pink keychain too. 🙄

Get a spare set cut too?

Yes maybe. I’m upset I’ve missed all my plans. But I’m mainly anxious about not knowing! If I knew he definitely had the keys then I would be annoyed but I could relax. Right now I’m stressed as I don’t know where they are. I wish he’d look at his phone once at lunch.

If he's taken your house keys, has he left his own at home? That would give you some confidence that he'd picked them up by mistake.

Surely there’s a spare key in the back door?

Definitely get the pink fluorescent keychain so he can tell which is yours and which is his. And a spare key.

Can you lock the front door from the inside and out out the back door for now ?

Get spares cut
Get a key safe for outside
You should have more than one set each

Where's his house keys?

DH used to keep taking my keys by mistake, he'd put them in his pocket. And each and every time, I'd make him drive the 32 mile round trip to bring them back (even though I've got spares). He's much better now, funnily enough

He's now got a Tile on his key ring which connects to an app on his phone. It's saved me from putting him under the patio many times.

If it's more than once they don't take them by "mistake". They take them because they are careless.

This happened to me about 12 years ago, and my then husband was not due home for two days, and refused to answer the phone to discuss option to get them back. Mumsnet users back then opened my eyes to the fact this was part of a pattern of him having no respect for me or my contribution to our family and was the beginning of the end of our marriage.

What do you mean surely? Not everyone has a back door, and not everyone leaves a key in it. I’d imagine if OP did then she wouldn’t be having this problem would she

You do realise that we don't all live in your house or with the exact same setup as you? I don't even have a back door and when I used to, it didn't lock with a key.

It’s not deliberate - they do look similar by colour but if you look it’s obvious who’s is who’s.

So where are his then?

He’s taken them.

I mean… if you’d told him about your lovely plans for the day that you were looking forward to, and he’s working today while you’re free, and he just so happened to take your keys today of all days so that your nice day is ruined, I would struggle to believe that it wasn’t deliberate. Unless he’s always an utter halfwit, I guess. Regardless, I’d keep my keys in my purse or something from now on in addition to putting a very noticeable keychain of some sort on them to prevent any further “accidents.”

If it was an accident, YABU. I think we’ve all done it at some point in my house.

If it was deliberate, of course YANBU.

Can you go out anyway? Will your door be secure when it’s pulled shut or is it the kind that requires a key to lock? Or a back door you can leave through, taking that key instead?
if so, Go and enjoy your day and then come back when he’s home (eventually, have lots of fun and be late! He can start dinner!)

If his taken your keys, didnt he leave his?

Are you absolutely sure he didn’t have reason to fuck up your lovely day out?

It seems weird he not only took your keys, but also isn’t returning calls and messages…

You seriously don’t have any sort of spare key in the house?

You have my full sympathies. My husband and I have both done this to each other. More than once 😬. I’d ignore everyone who can’t possibly imagine how this could happen without being controlling or divorceable levels of carelessness (unless of course there are other issues..!) It’s one of those things that happens when you’re busy. At one point I had an obnoxiously large fluffy keyring which he wouldn’t be seen dead with just to ensure he didn’t take my keys by accident. I wish I still had that!

You’re not wrong to be seething at missed plans. I can’t speak for if it’s fair to be angry re not checking his phone; that depends on his job I guess. Equally, unless he can leave then it won’t change things. I hope you manage to rearrange at least some of your nice plans. And maybe get something extra nice in for tea so the day doesn’t end in pure irritation!