Watch this argument with me

[Motherflubber]

I’m eating alone in a very small restaurant in a very small town and there’s a very small woman absolutely laying in to her dining partner who is resolutely refusing to react.

She’s in her mid-60’s I’d say. Her dining partner looks a similar age, he’s probably late 60’s although looks younger because he’s got that lanky teenage frame and posture about him. He’s deathly calm in the face of her fury.

Anyway, she’s fuming. It started about 20 minutes ago with a furiously whispered ‘well it’s just like it was in millets PHILLIP’. The ‘Phillip’ was spat with such venom I winced from across the room. There’s only them, me and another table here.

From what I can gather, Phillip has a long held opinion on something and as a result, doesn’t want to buy something that this lady would like to purchase. She says she will buy it for herself and Phillip has calmly said ‘that’s fine if you want to, I don’t mind you having one but I won’t be using it’. He’s eating a burger and switched from eating with a knife and fork to picking the whole thing up in his hands - this infuriated the woman further and she said that sort of behaviour was exactly why she can’t have him coming to Mark and Fiona’s next week. He didn’t reply to that and that also seems to have annoyed this woman even more. She has finished her main course but keeps picking up her cutlery and putting it down again like she’s stuck for something to do.

Phillip has attempted to change the subject a few times but she can’t let this go. They’ve not said what the thing is but my first thought was an electric car maybe? She wants one but he doesn’t? Whatever it is has clearly been boiling her piss for a while because she’s absolutely hopping mad that he won’t agree to use one of whatever it is. I’m also dying to know what happened in Millets.

Also yes I’m eavesdropping, although given the space is tiny and they’re feet away from me, I’d hear what was happening whether I was trying to hear it or not. It is indeed none of my business and if you need to tell me off to feel morally superior then please do go ahead. If you’re a people watcher though, come and speculate with me

This is the best thing I've ever read. I'm going to be tittering away all day thinking about it! Makes me somewhat blanch with dread though at the thoughts of how many of my rants must be posted somewhere 🤣

I prefer my version.

Are you going to tell off the other people who were having fun with this too?

Surely this is what we do when we watch films or read novels though? Digest stories of other people's lives? OP wasn't being unkind, just observing, absorbing and yes, telling the story. It's not a moral failing I don't think. But of course, fine not to be interested.

Thanks OP. Great thread! I hope life gets easier for you soon x

We were on a cruise and there was a couple at a table on their own who did exactly the same! Every night they'd come down (late) sit down and not a word was spoken. They did speak to the waiters but didn't engage with them, or give them a tip at the end of the cruise. (We know that as we asked the waiters) They were fantastic, nothing too much trouble, one used to sing to us at the end of every meal and he was very good.)
Anyway, it was so noticeable that this couple weren't talking ALL WEEK. Our table found it most odd. One night, he arrived first, she came in about 3 minutes later, obviously in a snot as she flounced in, undid her napkin with a very aggressive flick but still nothing! Very odd.

This is a really sweet perspective in an argument within a long standing relationship

@Mumofmarauders Couldn’t agree with you more. Not a hint of malice in anything that @Motherflubber has written in this very sweet and entertaining thread. Funny thing is, my FIL is called Phillip and dare I confess that I’m Fiona… OP, thank you for making me smile today. Wishing you peace from your heartache and all good things ahead.

For the same reason, his reluctance to have an earing aid, I am totally on his side, who wants to listen to her nagging day in, day out!

The phrase She Who Must Be Obeyed springs to mind, poor Philip, my advice to him would be LTB, in MN parlance.

Thanks for updating OP, I would never have guessed it was a hearing aid. TeamJudith btw FIL was unbearable when he didn't have his in (and his son is going the same way).

Their conversation doesn't make sense. Why would Philip say "I don't mind you having one but I won't be using it" if they're talking about a hearing aid? You don't share hearing aids. Would have made more sense (been more believable) if he'd said "I don't mind you having one, but I won't be getting one".

Of course it could be the straw that broke the camel’s back and they could split up

This is so entertaining…….any script writers on MN? I see a potentialTV series on the horizon. Well, couldn’t be any dafter than some of the tripe that’s screening now could it?!

This could be a Chekhov short story with only a tiny bit of beefing up around description of characters and the odd bit of heart stabbing pathos.

Eg, working up stabbing pathos around no hearing aid and inner isolation and the man she should really have married? His public humilation, awareness that it was not the time or the place to be discussing what she wanted to discuss?

Can you discern love under all that then? It sounded like a couple forced by unresolved emotional issues to stay together.

If really it was deep down love then that would be nice!

I love this perspective too. Am sure that outside observers would raise a brow at DH and I sometimes - the kids have been known to tease us and ask if we’re ‘having a divorce’ in the car. But we adore each other, bicker in tesco and b&Q, he winds me up for fun on journeys and I still unfathomably rise to it after 33 years. And woe betide we risk Ikea together 🤯 but we make clear that being in love doesn’t mean we are clones, that we agree on everything (or anything some days), or that we don’t piss each other off from time to time or that we’re not allowed to show we are angry - it’s healthy to be able to show all emotions with your partner and know your relationship is safe. I hope they take this on board in their own relationships

Love this. It's so refreshing to hear some real stuff on here rather than all the 'perfect' marriages you see where apparently they never so much as have a lover's tiff.

I'm seeing Barry and Bev from the Specsavers advert

'Whose is this earring Barry?'

'It's a pork scratching Bev'

Absolutely! My husband refuses to wear his. Apparently he would prefer not to know what anyone is saying. We've had any number of 'conversations ' which he knows nothing about half an hour later because he's just been nodding and saying Yes. Even his mates joke about it so it's not just me. It's infuriating.

Bearing in mind he needs hearing aids and won't wear them anything he says might be completely irrelevant to anything she's said. Welcome to my life.

I may have told this story before, but seems appropriate.

This was maybe 20 years ago when I lived in London. On the bus, sort of after-work time so fairly full. A young woman was having an intense conversation on her mobile, and gradually I became aware of her as she became more agitated and louder.

"I didn't do it"
"I didn't do it, OK?"
"I told you I didn't do it!"
"Listen! I didn't!"
"NO, I DIDN'T DO IT!!"

Got to a bus stop, and as she alighted, there was a final max volume
"I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!"

Everybody on the bus had been doing that special not-looking-at-each-other silent commuter thing, but as the door closed and we pulled away, a timid voice in the crowd said, "But what didn't she do?"

😂😂😂😂😂 love this!!!

Oops, this was for @marcopront

Forgot to link it. My bad.

Op, you write so brilliantly! Such an entertaining thread! "Philip and his knees" 😂
I wish you were my best friend!