Best Amazon Prime Day deals: Mumsnet favourites

Best Amazon Prime Day deals:
Mumsnet favourites

Shop now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Watch this argument with me

220 replies

Motherflubber · 22/03/2026 20:03

I’m eating alone in a very small restaurant in a very small town and there’s a very small woman absolutely laying in to her dining partner who is resolutely refusing to react.

She’s in her mid-60’s I’d say. Her dining partner looks a similar age, he’s probably late 60’s although looks younger because he’s got that lanky teenage frame and posture about him. He’s deathly calm in the face of her fury.

Anyway, she’s fuming. It started about 20 minutes ago with a furiously whispered ‘well it’s just like it was in millets PHILLIP’. The ‘Phillip’ was spat with such venom I winced from across the room. There’s only them, me and another table here.

From what I can gather, Phillip has a long held opinion on something and as a result, doesn’t want to buy something that this lady would like to purchase. She says she will buy it for herself and Phillip has calmly said ‘that’s fine if you want to, I don’t mind you having one but I won’t be using it’. He’s eating a burger and switched from eating with a knife and fork to picking the whole thing up in his hands - this infuriated the woman further and she said that sort of behaviour was exactly why she can’t have him coming to Mark and Fiona’s next week. He didn’t reply to that and that also seems to have annoyed this woman even more. She has finished her main course but keeps picking up her cutlery and putting it down again like she’s stuck for something to do.

Phillip has attempted to change the subject a few times but she can’t let this go. They’ve not said what the thing is but my first thought was an electric car maybe? She wants one but he doesn’t? Whatever it is has clearly been boiling her piss for a while because she’s absolutely hopping mad that he won’t agree to use one of whatever it is. I’m also dying to know what happened in Millets.

Also yes I’m eavesdropping, although given the space is tiny and they’re feet away from me, I’d hear what was happening whether I was trying to hear it or not. It is indeed none of my business and if you need to tell me off to feel morally superior then please do go ahead. If you’re a people watcher though, come and speculate with me Grin

OP posts:
BravebutBroken · 22/03/2026 21:24

Team Judith, just because when she was called childish she blew a raspberry 😂 love that!

Also, I need to know whether you're in worcestershire and it's actually a fellow mumsnetters relatives 😂

And I also want to know about the first date swingers too please!

SixthWorstOption · 22/03/2026 21:24

IncessantNameChanger · 22/03/2026 21:18

I was having dinner out with dh. Next to us appeared to be a couple on their first date after meeting online. I had the impression they was swingers and talking far too loud. I'm not normally into listening in or people watching. But I was almost scrapping my table closer to listen.

😂😂😂

Twinkylightsg · 22/03/2026 21:29

Thank you so much for this post. I wish I was there 😅

UncannyFanny · 22/03/2026 21:29

Flirt with Philip. Do it.

ProfessorRedshoeblueshoe · 22/03/2026 21:34

UncannyFanny · 22/03/2026 21:29

Flirt with Philip. Do it.

Brilliant
Team Judith

Switcher · 22/03/2026 21:37

This is really awesome! Love it

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/03/2026 21:37

Team Phillip here.

There have been health issues for my parents and my mother was fine and supportive of my father getting an "old person" issue (deafness ironically!) but when she got one to do with her sight she was adamant he must have it too, I guess to make it more ok to her.

He didnt.

I can well imagine my mother being Judith in this scenario.

I was....well it wasnt eavesdropping because they didnt speak, but I was fascinated by a couple spotted in a restaurant years ago on holiday. In the end then DH and I spent more time watching them than anything else! They walked in and were seated. Ordered drinks and meals, both spoke fine to the server. Long story short they spent a three course meal not speaking a single word to each other, not even when they left. It was like they telepathically decided to leave at the same time! This was well over 20 years ago so no phones to scroll on, they just sat there!

Ex and I decided that they were having couples counselling who had suggested a date night once a week. And couldnt work out why it wasnt working!

Bloodycrossstitch · 22/03/2026 21:38

I’m quite endeared with them both to be honest. I’m picturing a dynamic like the parents from ‘Can you keep a secret?’

MrsMoastyToasty · 22/03/2026 21:41

I wonder if they're related to Alan at Snape Maltings....

shellyleppard · 22/03/2026 21:43

They sound like my mum and dad 🤣🤣🤣 please update us.... I'm waiting with bated breath!!

Watdidusay · 22/03/2026 21:44

Definitely a Zimmer frame

Starandflowers · 22/03/2026 21:45

Definitely Team Philip.

Judith sounds insufferable and always wanting to get her own way

I am picturing Pam and Mick from Gavin and Stacey

Anewerforest · 22/03/2026 21:46

COME IN OP DON'T LEAVE US HANGING! Oh sorry you're not the deaf one!

ultracynic · 22/03/2026 21:50

I’d have waited until Judith went outside and then gone to see if Philip is ok.

Team Phil. Judith sounds like hard work. I’m not surprised he doesn’t want a hearing aid. I’d even suggest a knee replacement so he can run away faster.

BeKhakiReader · 22/03/2026 21:50

As the wife of a man with confirmed hearing deficit but who DEFINITELY doesn’t need a hearing aid…I’m team Judith. It’s unbelievably annoying having to say everything three times.

Woodfiresareamazing · 22/03/2026 22:03

Motherflubber · 22/03/2026 20:33

No but I’m now absolutely fascinated to know how Millets is related. She’s going on at him now about him being unsupportive and he’s just said ‘it’s not a hobby Judith, we don’t have to do it together’ and it’s the first time he’s bitten back at her. She’s hovering - she keeps standing up slightly in her seat as if she’s going to walk out but then sits back down.

This quote re "it's not a hobby, we don't have to do it together"- my suggestion for what the object might have been was a 12" black dildo.

Maybe hearing aid is code for that?

QueenOfHiraeth · 22/03/2026 22:07

BeKhakiReader · 22/03/2026 21:50

As the wife of a man with confirmed hearing deficit but who DEFINITELY doesn’t need a hearing aid…I’m team Judith. It’s unbelievably annoying having to say everything three times.

I agree. We went through this with FIL who steadfastly refused to use his and, although we joked that years with MIL explained it, it was infuriating for all.
Men can be very vain and refuse to acknowledge signs of ageing

Woodfiresareamazing · 22/03/2026 22:13

Motherflubber · 22/03/2026 21:02

‘You’re not going to bridge on Tuesday if you’re not coming with me in the morning, I’ll have the car’

’I’ll walk’

’YOU WILL NOT WALK PHILLIP ITS A MAIN ROAD AND YOUR KNEES.’

Oh this is hilarious!

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/03/2026 22:14

MrsMoastyToasty · 22/03/2026 21:41

I wonder if they're related to Alan at Snape Maltings....

I wondered that too haha!!

And I really hope he kept the table!

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 22/03/2026 22:18

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 22/03/2026 20:27

Well, I found that quite riveting and I am keen to hear how it unfolds.

One thing though, I really dislike the phrase 'boils my piss' it conjures up a vision (to me, at least) of a slightly dented, aluminium milk pan, on an old hissing gas ring, with a permeatimg smell of urine, which I find most unpleasant.

Anyway, what happened next?

This description of the pan and urine really made me chuckle... maybe a bit of my urine escaped in the process! Oops, sorry TMI 😳😆😂

Seriously, I'm following this thread avidky with keen interest! More information please! 😅👍

NCTDN · 22/03/2026 22:22

Motherflubber · 22/03/2026 21:06

She’s left the table, she’s gone out of the side door to the smoking area so I think she’s gone for either air or a smoke.

Philip and his knees remain at the table. Plates have been cleared, desert menu has been examined and now he’s sitting reading his phone in silence.

Maybe he’s reading MN Grin

HotRootsAndNaughtyToots · 22/03/2026 22:23

’YOU WILL NOT WALK PHILLIP ITS A MAIN ROAD AND YOUR KNEES 💀

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 22/03/2026 22:25

Ooh it reminds me of when my DM said that my DF needs hearing aids but refuses to get them, letalone a hearing test - and that set her off on a rant for about 10 minutes 😅

I've got high frequency hearing loss and have had hearing aids since childhood. I have some BTE ones from the NHS but don't wear them as they ironically exacerbate my hearing loss by making my ear wax build up too much - of course, this is a ridiculous reason not to wear them but I think it's probably better i don't keep getting microsuctioned too often as that annoys me too lol.

Having said all of this, I totally understand why Judith is pissed off. My DH loves to moan when I don't hear him but I do have a good solution ie hearing aids. Philip should be a bit more willing to try them. I can attest to them being great if they didn't make my ear wax worse 😆😳

Alittlebitofthebauble · 22/03/2026 22:28

Had a wicked (the bad kind) day and this has cheered me up no end. Brilliant 🤣 Thanks Op.

Endoadnowarrior · 22/03/2026 22:31

I was really hoping it was a butt plug.