Came up with a ridiculous business idea in my sleep. Tell me how bad it is

[Yoperreosolo]

Ok, it’s a huge cruise ship in a warehouse, that doesn’t move. You pay to stay on it and you’ll have the whole cruise experience without the moving around or being on the sea. There would be light projections to simulate night and day, and also it would be warm.
I guess my market would be people who can’t afford a cruise and/or aren’t that bothered by the destinations side. My grandparents who have been on lots of cruises say some people don’t bother to get off to see Rome or wherever.
I was thinking about those Disney cruises where the selling point is the cruise itself and the activities/ water park.
It would also be a safe bet due to being in a controlled environment. Wouldn’t be disrupted by wars or weather conditions.
I think I was inspired by the huge ship they built for the film Titanic.

I think it might work as a nightclub/one-night stay, where you stay overnight and have breakfast in the morning, but you'd struggle to entertain people for longer than that. A big part of cruises is leaving the ship and visiting different places. People don't go on them to stay on the ship for a fortnight (I think)

I love cruises. Sitting on the deck with the sea breeze, the twinkly blue sea - that’s the appeal for me.

You’d be surprised.

I'm always surprised, and usually dissapointed, by people. People are odd. 😂

Er isn't that a holiday resort which also has a massive advantage of being about to go outside into the 'fresh' air?

I thought the point of cruises was the places you visit along the way not being on the ship.

Are you sure this was a dream. It sounds like a nightmare!!

Haven't you watched Total Recall?

Sounds really shit tbh.

You need to put it on island so that holidaymakers have to take a tender to go there. Will there be fake port stops too? You could have a fake Italy set, a fake Caribbean island, etc.

In fairness to you OP, the other night I dreamed we had won the lottery and bought a dilapidated stately home. It had some outbuildings - think workers cottages type small houses - within another larger, barn-like building (but more like a huge warehouse). When we viewed we hadn't realised the houses in a barn were there and after buying the place we were considering taking the roof off the barn, but were worried the small houses wouldn't stand up to the weather after decades in a barn...!

There's a safari ride at Chessington World of Adventures. You get into jeeps and they swing around on a track that passes over or close to some of the animal enclosures in Chessington zoo. It is exactly a safari for people who can't afford a safari.

I am on Sertraline and I come up with a lot of film plots in my sleep! They are usually crap. But they seem great at the time.

My sister had vivid dreams on this, but hers were more nightmares than film plots. She once woke up and punched her husband in the face while he was sleeping because she was convinced he was strangling their baby.

It's not as awful as it sounds. He deserved a punch in the face, not for strangling their baby, who was sleeping soundly in her cot beside them, but for being an abusive, cheating arsehole. Fortunately, she left him a few years ago.

So the same as an all inclusive holiday at a hotel with everything laid on? Think that has been around for a few years!

@Yoperreosolo Kudos for thinking of this!

Having been on many a cruise on small niche ships all over the world... personally I can't think of anything worse! Let me tell you why, as far as I'm concerned.

I love the sea. the sea air, the passing tankers and small boats. The stormy conditions and the sea when it's so calm it's like a sheet of glass. I could stare at the sea, the sunrises, the sunsets and everything in between literally all day. It centres me. The vast open horizons are like a true escape for me.

The rhythmic movements, the sounds, the changing colours of the ocean, the wind, the calm peacefulness, just everything about it.

You cannot re-create that.

Of course maybe for some, the sea bit of being on a cruise is irrelevant. I have no idea!

Oh that’s going back a bit I had some great nights on the Tuxedo Princess in my youth. Now they just put some sand down on Newcastle Quayside in the summer and people sit in deck chairs on it while their children make sandcastles. I mean there are no proper beaches in the North East of England😂. I like the sound of the place in Edinburgh. Thanks for the thread @Yoperreosolo it has given me a good laugh.

This is a zoo

OP, I like the idea. You can use damaged ships or even a ship without engines, leave it stationary in a cheap port or marina. I guess health and safety would be less stringent, and you can do it in a cheap unglamorous place (as long as there are coaches and plenty of parking). So you could have a cruise experience for a fraction of the price. All the logistics would be cheaper (you can restock the kitchen for example). Insurance would be cheaper. Staff can sleep elsewhere. Go for it! :)

The beauty of the Tuxedo Princess is that if it ever went out to sea in a Force 10 storm, nobody would lose their footing because everything stuck to the beer/vomit on the floor like velcro.

I get seasick so in some ways I like the idea. But the thought of being cooped up with several hundred other people for an extended period of time doesn't appeal at all.
I avoid resort holidays for exactly this reason.

It could be a fun installation to visit at a dock or similar though.

Boatlins.

Definitely have some treasure-finding-based activities aboard. It could be just like Swashbuckle on CBeebies but for adults!

People like to go to Centre Parcs, and that’s a fake forest, where you are mostly locked in, somewhere outside Milton Keynes, have overpriced shops, overpriced activities and a dome to simulate nice weather.

So a container in Grimsby instead of a proper cruise would probably appeal to a lot of people too.

The great nights were heavily helped by the 30p triples, and then a spin on the revolving dance floor

Surely you realise that people travelled long before social media was even thought of OP? They do so for all sorts of reasons. Admittedly, a large percentage just do so to get absolutely obliterated in the sun and perhaps that's your market but it's quite niche. Most people travel to experience different places, cuisines, cultures and people, certainly not because some bellend on Tiktok went prancing around Dubrovnik.