Came up with a ridiculous business idea in my sleep. Tell me how bad it is

[Yoperreosolo]

Ok, it’s a huge cruise ship in a warehouse, that doesn’t move. You pay to stay on it and you’ll have the whole cruise experience without the moving around or being on the sea. There would be light projections to simulate night and day, and also it would be warm.
I guess my market would be people who can’t afford a cruise and/or aren’t that bothered by the destinations side. My grandparents who have been on lots of cruises say some people don’t bother to get off to see Rome or wherever.
I was thinking about those Disney cruises where the selling point is the cruise itself and the activities/ water park.
It would also be a safe bet due to being in a controlled environment. Wouldn’t be disrupted by wars or weather conditions.
I think I was inspired by the huge ship they built for the film Titanic.

I love it, OP.

But it’ll never work, becuase your target demographic (the people who go on cruises but don’t bother to disembark) will never admit how ridiculous they are by booking it.

Static boat hotels make me think of the accommodation barges that they use for oil workers and asylum seekers. Not my idea of a luxury holiday!

I did once have a great night out on the tuxedo princess in Newcastle though!

Sort of already exists: I often stay here when I'm in London. It's fun!

https://www.sunbornlondon.com/

So a virtual cruise ? Will you have images to look at that change so you really feel as if you’re at sea? Will the boat move at all?
Maybe it could have a cinema and show day excursion films of various places etc depending on the cruise theme - eg an arctic cruise, carribean cruise etc.

It sounds like this book by Christopher Brookmyre!

You need to watch Barnacle Bill! Its an Ealing comedy made in the mid 50's with Alec Guinness. Its absolutely brilliant!

He runs a cruise ship that doesnt cruise on an old pier, I forget why but it really is a good film!

What would be the difference between this and going to a holiday park where you also have entertainment etc. but can see the sky and sun? I suppose you can control the temperature in a warehouse but it would have to be very cheap to make it an option for people who can’t afford a cruise or different holiday. I would’ve thought one of the draws of a cruise, even if you don’t get off the ship, is that you can look outside and see the sea. Being able to see the horizon is very calming for humans, whereas not seeing any natural light can be stressful

Ah, reminds me of the Tuxedo Princess without the danger of falling in the Tyne 😂

IME there are two kinds of cruisers:

1. People who just want an all inclusive and don’t actually care about where the ship is going as long as it’s hot.
2. People who are interested in where the ship is going and choose their cruise for the itinerary.

Your idea would suit type 1, but not type 2, which is me.

It's not the best idea,but a very sweet one OP.

I'd probably give it a go just for the sheer ridiculousness of it,but I'm a nutter.

You mean like the Bibby Stockholm - but indoors?

Sounds like more of a nightmare than a dream! Seeing a ship out of water makes me feel all weird and unsettled, and the bits on the ship are the worst parts of a cruise. It’s bad enough feeling like you’re on holiday in what is essentially a floating shopping centre even worse to be on one you can’t get off until the holiday is over.

In Britain, we have crap weather, that’s why it’s indoors

If only we could invent inflatable suits that mimic the feeling of being out on a sunny, warm day so people could have any kind of holiday 'experience' whatever the weather...

You've set me off now, OP.

I would not book in , sorry haha

Stayed on the Fingal in Edinburgh once & it was amazing! It’s docked near the Royal Yacht Britannia, and served local, organic food only. Really made our holiday to Edinburgh.

You win.

All inclusive in an Earthquake Zone.

You invented a resort hotel with projectors. The cost of staying in it in the uk would be astronomical. You may as well go on a cruise. A holiday without fresh air feels horrific. Families that just want to connect can literally go anywhere.

This is not a great idea

What would be the difference between this and a normal hotel?

There are stationary boats but they obviously have the sea and fresh air still.

I like the thought process.
You could technically fake the views, temperature and it would likely be much safer (I’d be more comfortable as a parent).

But I can imagine it feeling very claustrophobic - even regular cruises can be claustrophobic but at least they have fresh air - where would you get your fresh air from?

It’s not perfect but I can see where you’re going with it.

You just invented the long puffa coat.

I went to the Titanic experience which was a VR of thr Titanic where you could walk around. So like a cross between that and a theme park hotel..

Sounds exactly like Las Vegas. Everything's fake.

They already have one moored in Central London and Tilbury