AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

It’s Friday night, get a takeaway

How very disappointing. Bit inconsiderate of him and it's not nice to come home to this . LTB

He should be embarrassed. He clearly sees you as the default everything.

Get a takeaway tonight but I’d be having a serious chat.

You've had the week off, he's been working. You're both out of routine. Is food shopping usually his task?

I think when you’re home alone especially on a work day you’re in a bit of a cocoon and eat whatever then you suddenly realise crap there’s other people!

This. Cut him some slack. You’ve had a holiday and he couldn’t come. I reckon takeaway plus mutual catchup and chat followed by a good night sleep.

Takeaway tonight then he does a proper shop tomorrow

Not ideal. Also not the end of the world. Can he pop to the shop now? I’ve been at home today, DH just messaged from his way home from work asking what’s for dinner and I said ‘whatever you pick up on your way home’ 😳

Very inconsiderate, especially the milk.

Is it normal for the food to run so low there's nothing for dinner after a few days, or has he been bingeing?

At least he didn't ask YOU what you're making for dinner! But I agree,it's a bit remiss of him not to have got anything in.

Ridiculous. Yes of course making sure there's milk for a cuppa and something for supper is a bare minimum to expect. Again, why is that bar so low. He's a father and a husband, shouldn't be a onerous task to remember to look after his family.

Weird question.

I’ve never once expected (nor wanted!) there to be milk in the house for a ‘cuppa’, so I’m not sure it’s the ‘bare minimum’!

He's not out of routine, other than he's had a lot less to do this week! I just think it wouldn't have taken much extra effort to grab an oven pizza whilst he was in Tesco getting himself lunch today. Food shopping we do together, but I'm not expecting him to have done a weekly shop....

No milk ?!! I’d be raging.

Well he is, because you've not been there. Routine isn't about labour, it's about usual life. Could you have got stuff yourself on the way home?

We don't keep an awful lot in the freezer, so whilst we have some oven chips, and probably some peas, we have nothing to go with it.

Yes of course I could have, but I did have a very poorly and tired toddler in the car after a 3 hour journey so it wasn't ideal.

What did he get for lunch then and why did he go to Tesco, nothing in the house fo rhis lunch then?

Dont you have tins of things or packets of things in cupboards?

I could probably eat for a couple of months from our cupboards.

What was he planning to have for tea, what did he have yesterday?

I cant comprehend a house with no staples in it.

I think you need to make him sleep on the sofa for 2 weeks and stop making him food. In fact do the food shopping alone and then label everything as yours and childs & to keep hands off.

only way to teach him to be more responsible

How is it a weird question?

I'd say most people have at least one meal in the freezer and that's allowing for people on very low incomes.

Bloody hell, I can’t imagine how stressful and conflict filled your life must be if you get so worked up about something like not getting anything in for dinner one night.

Extra information that had you supplied it previously I wouldn't have asked the question.

There was food he could have had for lunch, but I guess he just fancied a meal deal so got one. Yesterday for tea he had a chicken kyiv that we had in the freezer.

Blokes are generally a bit crap at life management, so it helps to be very clear in your expectations. Next time, send him a message and ask him to get something in for dinner so you can all be together when you get back.