Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

[grumpyatwork]

I started my job at the same time as this colleague. He is in his late teens, and to put it bluntly he is an awful worker. He spends most of his time in the toilet on his phone, and whenever he’s pulled up about this he gets incredibly stroppy.

In the last few days I’ve taken over a lot of his work. I don’t mind, it makes everything easier.

but in the last few days he’s picked up on this and he keeps going out of his way to barge into me. He shoulder barged me yesterday when walking past me, despite me having enough room behind me for him to not do that. Today he saw I was behind him and rolled his chair backwards to bump into me.

he also keeps making snide comments about my appearance - hair colour, weight, etc.

I think this is all related to the fact I’m getting praise for getting his work done, but AIBU to raise it?

Presumably you've reported this to your line manager?

He’s assaulting you.

What would you do if a man on the street assaulted you?

Go straight to HR. That is outrageous. You are being assaulted.

Not yet. It only started in the last couple of days.

It just all feels really petty.

Tell him to fuck off with his behaviour or preferably report to HR . If he does anything again, call him out on it, loudly.

What reporting him to HR for assault? Not petty at all!

You should mind that you are doing his work. That’s what he is paid to do. You need to stop it as he clearly thinks he can walk all over you and in his mind, you’re letting him get away with being authoritative over you. It’s a recipe for disaster

How old are you? Have you called him out on it? Spoken to him about it?

Just the entire situation.

hes young and this is his first job and it’s painfully obvious. But he’s just been so rude in the last few days, because I did actually refuse to do some of his work. It just feels like he’s being really childish.

Report this immediately.
he can’t behave like this regardless of how good or bad he is at his work

You need ti report him now to your manager.

FFS. You're doing his work for him and he's assaulting you and insulting you. But you're here instead of HR.If you don't do something about it he'll keep doing it. Of course you complain!

Report, report, report. But also feel free to draw attention to it if/when it happens again. Find your confidence. “Ben, you’ve just shoulder barged me. It’s not the first time, stop it!” Loudly. And report again.

Nothing like experience for learning. Report him to HR so he can learn that if he assaults people at work he will be in trouble.

Seriously, what advice would you give somebody else - hey, just let the work shy bloke assault you, or, expect your workplace to manage his behaviour when he is working?

Call this little shit out on it every time op! He sounds ghastly!

Do not be nice about it either and also go to HR and your line manager.

Go and have a chat with your manager, tell them everything you’ve written here. And if he barges you again exclaim very loudly and firmly “ouch! You just really hurt me! You need to be more careful, you can’t just barge into people!” Then stare straight in his face until he apologises. And stop doing his work - just document what he isn’t doing.

Why are you doing his work AND allowing him to shoulder barge you ? What part of this is ok?

Report to your manager and HR now.

Shut this little fucker down now while you are both on probation.
Be really clear on the specific phrases he is using and that he is physically harming you and it needs to stop.
Acceptable behaviour in the workplace and unacceptable behaviour for an adult are 2 of the phrases you'll likely want to use...

While I was at i would outline exactly how much additional work i was doing due to shithead NOT doing his work and ask what exactly your line manager's plan is to address this as (obviously) its not sustainable long term.

Do this in writing.
The way you do that is you write the emailing full. Meet your libe manager verbalise it then send the as discussed email pist meeting

It's a silly question OP - "AIBU to raise it?" 🤨

So I won't dignify it with an answer BUT I will say YABU to take on his work.

You're playing into his hands completely and sadly it's unlikely to get you anywhere.

He sounds like a vicious little shitbag! Stop covering for his lack of work, document every nasty remark and call out every incident of barging. This can't be allowed to go on. He should be out on his ear already.

Please do not feel sorry for him because it’s his first job. He sounds bloody obnoxious and frankly he’s getting away with assault at the moment. It’s about time he learned his very first Big Boy lesson and was hauled up for a disciplinary. This behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated where I work and I’m amazed it hasn’t already been raised with management/HR.

As @MissyB1says, you need to over react to him. If he bumps you, say “ow that hurt”. If there is work to be done, ask out loud “so do you expect me to do your work”. Be loud so everyone else in the room witnesses it.

This sounds awful. As well as informing HR, I'd be keeping contemporaneous notes on the barging and snidey comments so you have them if the problem escalates. And please start calling out this idiot of a colleague every time he behaves badly.

How could you possibly think you might be unreasonable to raise it? Seriously, where's your mind going with this?

It just feels so childish and like im stooping to his level