Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

[grumpyatwork]

I started my job at the same time as this colleague. He is in his late teens, and to put it bluntly he is an awful worker. He spends most of his time in the toilet on his phone, and whenever he’s pulled up about this he gets incredibly stroppy.

In the last few days I’ve taken over a lot of his work. I don’t mind, it makes everything easier.

but in the last few days he’s picked up on this and he keeps going out of his way to barge into me. He shoulder barged me yesterday when walking past me, despite me having enough room behind me for him to not do that. Today he saw I was behind him and rolled his chair backwards to bump into me.

he also keeps making snide comments about my appearance - hair colour, weight, etc.

I think this is all related to the fact I’m getting praise for getting his work done, but AIBU to raise it?

Raise it NOW. In writing. Be clear. Exact times and exactly what happened.

Speak to your line manager and pass the problem on to them. I’d be really bothered if I thought my team couldn’t talk to me about this sort of thing.

If one of your work colleagues came to you and told you this was all happening to her, what would you advise her to do?
He’s acting like an immature little brat!
Write down every last vile remark he makes, if he barges into you again then like other posters have said - exclaim loudly that it hurt.
I hope the tosser gets a rough ride of army life if he thinks he can get away with arrogance like this there. I can’t see him being able to sit in the toilet for ages on his phone there!!

YABU to think you could be even the tiniest bit unreasonable to report this

Surely it would be a reputation of not putting up with offensive and criminal behaviour from male colleagues, he is the trouble maker not you.
If people were telling you to hit him back that would be stooping to his level.

Yoy think someone making comments about someones weight and appearance is "petty"? 😳🙄

You are allowing him to get away with it! go to your manager ASAP.

Yes. It all started because I said no to doing a piece of his work a week ago. I think retaliating because someone said no is petty.

If can understand you don't want a reputation as a troublemaker but tell your manager from a place of concern. TBH it doesn't sound like he's in a good place. Maybe you should be concerned for his mental health. He can't do his work, he's lashing out, making horrible comments and hiding in the toilet. Something's wrong and it needs to be addressed.

Report him asap. He is assaulting you. He is thoroughly bad news. Get him reported now!

He needs to be sacked immediately.

I understand your hesitation OP. Unfortunately it’s a well known fact that when someone raises an issue at work, it doesn’t result in unquestioning sympathy and support.

It’s likely that he would deny it and say OP was imagining it. OP would then be asked if she was sure the barging and shoving wasn’t accidental. It would be her word against his. The whole thing would involve managers in time and effort, and both OP and her colleague would be seen as being equally difficult.

Personally I’d be inclined to call him out each time he does it, and if it carries on next week, then report it.

He is being really childish and he needs to learn that you can't behave like that in a professional environment.

@grumpyatwork does your manager know you've taken over a lot of his work? If not this needs reporting asap and so does his behaviour. Do not make yourself vulnerable by covering for his sad arse.

Every family has squabbles - I just wish, everyone, from royals down, stopped plastering it all on various types of media. 🙄

All this physical contact is assault and you must report it to your line manger. You’re not being childish in raising the issues this teenager is creating…,,,how he got a job in the first place just beggars belief……sounds like a total knob!

You would rather be a doormat than deal with this? You have been given some good advice on here so follow it. His behaviour is unacceptable so call him out to his face giving him one more chance to behave threaten to speak to your Line Manager HR if he repeats this behaviour and ensure you do.

Can you put your phone in your pocket and record him doing it?

Report to HR. He’s bullying you, it is harassment in the workplace. And if they do nothing remind them that they are vicariously liable for the acts and omissions of their employees.

U need to report it now! Try to get a witness to speak for you too, next time he barges you shout STOP TOUCHING ME! At the top of your voice. And stop doing his work too, management should not be allowing this but he is actually physically attacking you. When he starts making comments about u put your phone on and record him. You need as
Much evidence as possible to prove it as the shitty little Cnut won’t have the balls to admit it.

Many many years ago I used to work somewhere where someone behaved like this, it wasn't reported and dealt with and he raped someone in the office after hours after a social event at work. He might be an obnoxious teenager but he is presumably physically bigger than you and could cause you harm. Don't put yourself in harms way by not wanting to rock the boat.

Record some of it. Then go to HR. Let him get away with it and he'll do the same to any woman he comes across in future.

I agree that a witness would be good, otherwise, he'll just say that you moved left when he was passing, or didn't see you as he reversed his chair.

It's still worth making a complaint, however. Even if they just have a talk to him and tell him to be careful. He sounds like a proper little shit.

Presumably not, otherwise she wouldn't have started an AIBU to ask whether she should raise it, would she?

Another person who rushes to reply within a minute of the OP being posted without bothering to read it properly.

Even more reason to report him. The armed forces don't need nasty little bullies. Letting him coast until he's due to leave is a terrible idea. Others must see how he's behaving and know you aren't making things up.