Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

[grumpyatwork]

I started my job at the same time as this colleague. He is in his late teens, and to put it bluntly he is an awful worker. He spends most of his time in the toilet on his phone, and whenever he’s pulled up about this he gets incredibly stroppy.

In the last few days I’ve taken over a lot of his work. I don’t mind, it makes everything easier.

but in the last few days he’s picked up on this and he keeps going out of his way to barge into me. He shoulder barged me yesterday when walking past me, despite me having enough room behind me for him to not do that. Today he saw I was behind him and rolled his chair backwards to bump into me.

he also keeps making snide comments about my appearance - hair colour, weight, etc.

I think this is all related to the fact I’m getting praise for getting his work done, but AIBU to raise it?

You need to complain to your manager about him. He’s bullying you. Leave his performance out of it when you do (that’s for management to determine) just keep it factual with these incidents (when, where, that you’ve asked him to stop, any witnesses) and let them deal with this.
Luckily, he’s already made himself known as an under performer, so you complaining about the bullying conduct might be the thing your manager has been waiting for to fail his probation/dismiss him, and the idiot has given it to them with a ribbon on.

Stooping to his level would be not doing any work, physically assaulting him and verbally abusing him.

Everyone that has responded so far has said absolutely report it.

I'm not sure what responses you were expecting, but you seem pretty keen to play it down.

I don’t know how old you are, or how much experience you have in the workplace, but unfortunately many workplaces are an extension of the school playground. You need to “tell a teacher”. That’s not stooping at all, that’s the right way to deal with a bully.

How can it be stooping to his level (dodging work and pushing people around) to go through the proper channels? How old are you OP? This is literally something you should report and make someone else’s problem.

He’s old enough to have a job. Report it all in writing to HR and say I’m being assaulted physically and verbally and it’s getting worse.

So many replies saying report and unreasonable yet you keep saying it’s just childish and petty? What is you want to hear ? It could be childish, a sharp word and he will stop. Or he could escalate as you are so passive and next time he will injure you ? Then you’ll be asked why you didn’t raise it. If you think there is a problem then there is. Don’t wait until he trips you up, locks you in a store cupboard or gets you sacked for something you didn’t do. Nasty behaviour in the workplace at such a young age is concerning. I can honestly say the first time he physically barged me would have been his last. That’s a line you don’t cross with colleagues. You are not mates.

As a manager I would want to know about this and be given an opportunity to address it immediately.

Reporting it isn't stooping to his level. It's saying I wouldn't put up with this nastiness and agressiveness and expect to work in a safe & hostile free environment.

If you are nervous start the conversation with "I really wish I didn't have to bring this to your attention but my efforts to remain professional, not react and hope it was a once off haven't worked...over the last number of days there have been instances where I'm been insulted etc ...

It is childish. But if he reports you for something first, you'll likely be out of a job so start taking it more seriously & deal with it professionally. His age & number of jobs won't make a difference if he decides to engineer a grievance against you & takes it to HR. You'll make excuses & allowances for him at your peril.

Before this loser does you a serious injury, speak to a manager, get him reprimanded.

Under no circumstances must you be left alone with him.

If there is a HR department, get them involved, right now.

He needs an immediate, verbal warning, he is assaulting you and your colleagues need to be ready to deal with him, for your own safety and wellbeing due to his malicious, and potentially dangerous actions.

You need to get this loser reported. Remember that males behaving like this in public can be reported to police and charged with assault.

1/ Stop doing any of his work for him. Only do 'his' work if you are tasked it directly by your line manager. Even if it is much easier, even if you want to. Don't. At the very most ask your line manger and gain agreement that you do it before going ahead. You are putting yourself in the wrong doing this without direction. He could complain.
2/ If he physically barges you and hurt you, there is usually a H&S type process to log it. Follow this. Logically for this to have happened there must be some safety issue at the workplace to address (yes I know) but follow the procedure anyway.
3/ Log any abusive words, exactly what was said, when it occurs. I would follow up via email asking colleague not to use the term again/ refer to my weight again...whatever was offensive. Then when he does it again, log it again and email your line manager about the matter as you have asked him to stop and he won't = harassment. Ask for direction on what the next steps should be to get the behaviour to stop.

Please report this. He sounds like a stroppy school child and not an adult. Totally unacceptable.

Call him out on it every single time. You can do it with softening language or humour if it helps, I wouldn't normally recommend that but the whole point is to put it out in the open, show him you know what he's doing.

"Do you mind not bagging into me?"
"You bang your head or something today, you keep walking into me"
"Someone needs an early night, but clumsy today"

He's trying to intimidate you.
He's a childish bully and you need to stand up to him.

If calling him out on it doesn't stop him or he escalates it, go to HR or line manager.

Erm, no. He's physically assaulting you. How is reporting him childish?

Keep a diary of the barging, of your doing his work, and anything else you're not mentioning here.

'many workplaces are an extension of the school playground.'

Absolutely.

FWIW I am told to do his work by people more senior than us both. It needs to be done one way or another so they tend to ask around to get others to do it.

I don’t think there’s anything he could raise a grievance for without putting himself in the shit too - what’s he going to say? “I spend half my day on the toilet on my phone so grumpy does my work”?

Report this to HR immediately, there's no excuse for not doing so.

When he does it again ( and he will because you are letting him get away with it ) , make it clear to him you know what he is doing and why and that you have reported him for bullying both physical and verbal.

How long were planning on putting up with this? it's your workplace not Y7 at school.

It is childish. But if he reports you for something first, you'll likely be out of a job so start taking it more seriously & deal with it professionally. His age & number of jobs won't make a difference if he decides to engineer a grievance against you & takes it to HR. You'll make excuses & allowances for him at your peril.

This, OP.

You need to act to protect yourself. You don't know him but you know enough about him to know that he isn't a reasonable person.

He's not at school now. And he won't get away with behaving like this in the workplace.

If you don't say anything and he does, you might well be the one looking for a new job. You've got to protect yourself. You owe him nothing.

He leaves in a few months. I think that’s partly why he gets away with it, because the process of firing him would be lengthy and take until his leaving date anyway.

He could lie..?

You're assuming an unreasonable person is going to behave reasonably.

He gets away with it because he is allowed to. You're not reporting him to get him sacked, you're reporting him to protect yourself.

ETA: physical assault in my workplace would result in him being escorted off the premises immediately. They wouldn't need to go through normal notice periods.

What he is doing is assault. It wouldn’t be childish to report that, it would be responsible. You’ve mentioned a couple of times that he is quite young. Even so, he should already know not to touch someone aggressively. But he doesn’t so needs to be taught that now, have it nipped in the bud. Think of it as doing him a favour as that type of behaviour can escalate and lead to criminal charges.

I am saying that because I am trying to understand your perspective. Personally I think his behaviour is appalling and he deserves any consequences that can be thrown at him. He isn’t assaulting you because he is young, he is doing it because he is a nasty little thug.

Assaulting a member of staff is gross misconduct. He could be dismissed immediately. Speak up for yourself and stop letting him think that he can get away with potentially hurting you.

So you will let him continue in this behaviour and it goes unchecked for his next workplace - but since it doesn't involve you, its ok? Thats an appalling way to behave on your part OP. If it was where i worked - he would be immediately asked to leave.

Physical assault and making derogatory comments about a colleague's appearance to their face I'm sure would be classed as gross misconduct which is immediate suspension/dismissal.

I didn’t say that.

hes going into the armed forces which I think will really wake him up - I don’t think he’ll succeed there.