Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

[grumpyatwork]

I started my job at the same time as this colleague. He is in his late teens, and to put it bluntly he is an awful worker. He spends most of his time in the toilet on his phone, and whenever he’s pulled up about this he gets incredibly stroppy.

In the last few days I’ve taken over a lot of his work. I don’t mind, it makes everything easier.

but in the last few days he’s picked up on this and he keeps going out of his way to barge into me. He shoulder barged me yesterday when walking past me, despite me having enough room behind me for him to not do that. Today he saw I was behind him and rolled his chair backwards to bump into me.

he also keeps making snide comments about my appearance - hair colour, weight, etc.

I think this is all related to the fact I’m getting praise for getting his work done, but AIBU to raise it?

It’s really coming across like you’re not going to do anything about this, for reasons that are genuinely unclear.

In which case, YABU for accepting this.

Why on earth have they kept him on?

of course you must report him

What is your reasoning for not reporting assault??

Stop doing his work.

He's assaulting you. You need to report this.

Do you not get he's escalating? He's stepped up from verbal abuse to physical.

You are doing his work while he sits on the toilet on his phone.
He rewards you for this by physically assaulting you?
Are you serious?
He needs to be sacked.
Report him for every shoulder barge and every misogynistic comment and every hour he wastes on his phone when he should be working.

It’s not being petty and stooping to his level to speak to your line manager and HR - this is exactly what you should do. You need to take this kind of thing seriously otherwise he will continue or it will escalate. Think better of yourself and don’t just complain anonymously on the internet, tell someone and don’t put up with it.

If this was happening to another young colleague, your sister or your daughter, what would you tell her - it’s petty so put up with it and don’t complain?

He could say anything. The impression you're giving of him hardly screams integrity & maturity.

I don’t want to rock the boat and get the reputation of being a troublemaker

Stop making excuses! I agree with the previous poster, you seem to be coming up with all sorts of reasons why you will do nothing. Which is pathetic.

Absolutely not petty, you could pull him up on his behaviour but that might risk a show down in the middle of the office. Speaking to your line manager may be a better option. Do you have any witnesses? Also record everything, this is assault and needs nipping in the bud now.

I have known a lot of teens while they have had their first job. NONE have acted like that and assaulted me or anyone else.

You are allowing yourself to be bullied by a teenaged twat waffle. He needs to learn the rules of life. Now.

STOP making excuses for him and stop thinking you will be the one who looks bad.

Complain about it by email over weekend and ask them to act on it immediately, also ask them to put up a camera as this is assault as well as a behaviour that they should dismiss him for.

Hi op you cannot let a kid assault you because he doesn’t like what’s going on. His issue should be with his senior staff you need to tell him one more comment or touch your reporting him to hr and the police for assault if necessary scare him. He can’t go around doing what he wants a toddler acts like this. Op don’t take this shit from anyone especially in the workplace. He sounds like he needs to grow up he won’t get away with this in the army.

YABU to think like this and not to report him to your manager

It’s assault x

You must report him. Who cares if he's leaving in a few months. You shouldn't be subject to this.
I hope you won't mind me saying that you would really benefit from taking some kind of assertion course or read up on techniques because it comes across as if people have made you feel that you shouldn't complain about shit treatment and should just put up with it, as if you aren't worth anyone putting a stop to it. You need to get angry about this. You are worth being treated with respect and no one has the right to behave otherwise towards you.

Start reading up on your rights at work on website like acas too.

The verbal abuse - and it is abuse is bad enough but barging you is horrific and he will do it again if he gets away with it.
Don't go soft and worry about the consequences to him. He should worry about the consequences.

It's also awful that your managers think its ok to get you to do his work and yet don't seem to tackle him about it. That's unacceptable. Is he the chairman's son or something?

You said you were worried about seeming petty, its this boys actions that are petty and offensive, it sounds like you think they won't believe you.

Make a note of the comments. ..however stupid they may seem, they were meant with agression. And the barging. Try to put the dates down too and keep a diary from now on. If you have a list of his work that you ended up doing include that to. Have everything written down and go to HR.

He's leaving anyway.. but that just means he isn't permanent staff anyway. He can leave early can't he, but you can't put up with this for another six months.

I've voted YABU - because you are doing nothing about it.

Your choices are report him, call him out to his face, or don't do anything and let the little shit bully you. Surely to god you are not going to allow him to carry on like that.

You're being ridiculous. You're not going to 'get the reputation of being a troublemaker' by pointing out that you're being physically bullied by a male co-worker.

You need to be less passive about this. This man needs dealing with.

But you're not making trouble - he is! You've got something that's quite rare on Mumsnet - a universal response! Doesn't that tell you something?! Clearly he's been getting away with this shit his entire life and it's your employer's job to keep you safe while you're at work.

Do that one more time and I'm calling the police.

I say this wth kindness.
You are not the trouble maker.
He is.
And you should seriously doubt anyone at work who says differently.

I think you need to consider why you are so worried about speaking up about behaviour that every poster on this thread is appalled by. Why do you think you will cause problems? Is it the set up at work? Your family experience? Because to me it looks like you've had to put up with a lot and need a bit of support in standing up for yourself and learning that its OK to do that.

If your managers continue to tolerate this and don't crack down on it. They are very poor managers and you should def start looking for another job in a better working environment. A lot of employers would be shocked by this behaviour too.

Are you happy with the reputation of being a push-over?
Your colleagues and managers are probably watching your reactions with interest. They've already asked you to do his job as well as yours. I bet they didn't offer to pay you his salary.

Can you confront him yourself, op?
I'm not one to go to HR/managers etc, I'd rather just tell it straight. I find that normally stops things straight away.
But I realise not everyone can do that.

This.