Childminder has had complaints about my son lashing out

[ohsonogo]

My son 2.5 is a sweet boy with a bit of a temper. Multiple times the childminder has asked me to keep his nails short as he lashes out at other children’s faces when annoyed. She says there have been more than ten times that she’s had to send another child home with scratches on their face. Today my partner picked up and she said ‘please cut xxx nails tonight as he’s using them as a weapon’. She’s messages me this

‘Hi, just to let you know xx has scratched another child’s face today again, very close to their eye. The parents are understandably upset and have sent me a very angry message. This other child was also hurt last week. I have now had to apologise to 5 parents due to scratches on their faces. Can you please ensure xx’s nails are kept as short as possible otherwise I won’t be able to accept him back into the setting. I will be in touch soon once I have a better idea of how to proceed with this ongoing issue. Thanks, xxxx ‘

what the hell do I do or say to that? Why is she being such a bitch, there’s only so much I can do when I’m not there.

I’m not sure she is being a bitch…

First question is obviously are you keeping his nails short? That's a quick win before you worry about the rest.

Cut his nails she isnt being a bitch just cut his nails you could try and send him to a nursery but you will have the same issue

Which bit is her being a bitch?

She isn’t being unreasonable, she has other children to look out for, would you not be upset if your child kept on coming home with scratches from another child.

You must be on a wind up surely

So are you keeping your son's nails as short as possible?

She's not being unreasonable.

What do you mean, what do you say to that? ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll make sure u do’ would be my go to, and then I’d make sure his nails were, in fact, as short as possible. Those poor other kids!

Bitch? How?

I’m worried she might try to get rid of him. I do his nails every week. This morning I noticed they were long and then today he’s scratched again so I’ve done them today again as well.

“a sweet boy with a bit of a temper”???

You need to be absolutely meticulous with keeping his nails short and work on behaviour at home. What do you do when he scratches or hurts people at home? You need to be keeping a close eye on this otherwise your child will be known as a bully in a few years time

She isn't being a bitch. She's protecting children. You need to cut his nails and work with her to sort his behaviour. If you don't then it's your fault if more children get hurt. One day he'll do it and the other child will retaliate. Are you ready for child to get hurt if a child retaliates?

Can you not understand why she is frustrated and the other parents angry ? I don’t think she is being a bitch at all. She needs to safeguard the other children. She’s offering you a very reasonable solution to allow her to continue caring for your child.

Would you be calling her a bitch if it was your son coming home with scratches on his face?!

She won’t be saying this to you to spite you

She sounds at the end of her tether

Sounds like such a sweet sweet boy. Do you think he gets his temper from you? You jumped to “bitch” accusations quite quickly!

Eh??
How would you feel if your son came home with scratches across his face, next to his eye from someone else’s toddler?? Totally ok with that??
This kind of behaviour from a 2.5 year old is within the realm of normal but not ideal. He needs to stop.
Your childminder is not a bitch. Cut his nails.
And be careful or you will find yourself without a childminder at all.

The fact you call her a bitch really does tell us a great deal about the type of person you are

It might be for the best. She can't continue to have a child who is causing injuries to other children so frequently.

It’s very unreasonable to be calling her a bitch over this op, what do you want her to do? She is trying to keep the other children safe. If she can’t do that, what choice will she have but to give you your notice?

He can’t keep scratching the other children. She has to prioritise keeping them safe. Maybe this isn’t the setting for him if it’s becoming a problem there, he might need somewhere where they can give him more support and a smaller ratio.

I think her response is measured and calm.

After multiple attacks on other children resulting in injuries, I think you need to consider that your son isn’t suited to this setting. She needs to protect the other children in her care.

This isn’t ’a bit of a temper’ this is an issue that you don’t seem to be understanding or addressing.

This must be a wind up? You saw his nails were long this morning, left them and now you’re confused by the CM’s reaction? I think this is not a serious post.

What are you doing to stop him from scratching ?

This must be a wind up. No one is this dense about their childs behaviour.

I'm truly lost for words.