Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think everyone has become boring?

352 replies

LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:07

Does being mid to late forties mean you have to be boring?

I used to have such a laugh with my mates but these days all they talk about is peri-menopause and laundry! One has to be home by 9 as they're tired and another 2 have given up alcohol. They say they'll have just as good a time drinking water. I know you can have a great night out sober, I've done it many times. But it's not the same though is it? I miss getting tipsy and giggling about silly things until late. Yes we can all have a good laugh sober, obviously. But it's not the SAME. I just really miss those nights out where we're silly and we embarrass ourselves and we laugh until we cry. But everyone else seems to have forgotten. It's WORTH the hangover and the being tired. It's not every day, it's just once every few months!

I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead as they're so much more fun. I will always be there for my friends don't get me wrong, but when I want a night out, I want to go OUT OUT.

Does anyone else feel the same? When did having responsibilities mean you can't (very occasionally) be silly / stay up too late / be spontaneous? :(

OP posts:
Wowzel · 16/03/2026 16:08

I no longer think it is anywhere close to worth the hangover!

ilovesooty · 16/03/2026 16:10

Perhaps they think you're boring too.

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:11

ilovesooty · 16/03/2026 16:10

Perhaps they think you're boring too.

Ha ha! Maybe! 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:11

Wowzel · 16/03/2026 16:08

I no longer think it is anywhere close to worth the hangover!

😥

OP posts:
wheresthesnowgone · 16/03/2026 16:11

LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:07

Does being mid to late forties mean you have to be boring?

I used to have such a laugh with my mates but these days all they talk about is peri-menopause and laundry! One has to be home by 9 as they're tired and another 2 have given up alcohol. They say they'll have just as good a time drinking water. I know you can have a great night out sober, I've done it many times. But it's not the same though is it? I miss getting tipsy and giggling about silly things until late. Yes we can all have a good laugh sober, obviously. But it's not the SAME. I just really miss those nights out where we're silly and we embarrass ourselves and we laugh until we cry. But everyone else seems to have forgotten. It's WORTH the hangover and the being tired. It's not every day, it's just once every few months!

I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead as they're so much more fun. I will always be there for my friends don't get me wrong, but when I want a night out, I want to go OUT OUT.

Does anyone else feel the same? When did having responsibilities mean you can't (very occasionally) be silly / stay up too late / be spontaneous? :(

I envy your energy. I need a power nap most days....

MJagain · 16/03/2026 16:13

Do you have children the same age as theirs? Or equal caring / work responsibilities?

I think this is an age where life can look very different for different people and that impacts their bandwidth for other things

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:13

I I feel like I may be in the minority here! I don't mean out out every weekend, I mean every couple of months or so... a few wines, a little dance...

OP posts:
JacknDiane · 16/03/2026 16:14

I can't take alcohol now so im boring too

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:15

MJagain · 16/03/2026 16:13

Do you have children the same age as theirs? Or equal caring / work responsibilities?

I think this is an age where life can look very different for different people and that impacts their bandwidth for other things

Yes we all have kids, I have two, some have one. I just want a night out every couple of months, or even once every 6 months, that involves dancing and no menopause talk...

OP posts:
5128gap · 16/03/2026 16:15

I probably did think like you in my 40s. However, a few years on and now in snipers alley I'm the one who's given up alcohol because I want to stay healthy and live long. Because nothing sounds more boring than being dead.

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:16

5128gap · 16/03/2026 16:15

I probably did think like you in my 40s. However, a few years on and now in snipers alley I'm the one who's given up alcohol because I want to stay healthy and live long. Because nothing sounds more boring than being dead.

Fair. But I don't feel like having a few too many drinks once every few months is going to end my life significantly sooner!

OP posts:
SilkyredPjs1 · 16/03/2026 16:18

Nope, completely feel you OP! I feel exactly the same! I’m lucky in that a lot of my friends atm DO still enjoy going out and I tend to get dressed up and go ‘out out’ (though only to bars, no clubs, too old for that!) once every 6ish weeks I’d guess?

We are late 30’s/ v early 40’s though, not sure if that makes a difference. Having said that, we all have young children (toddler or very early primary age)

Honestly I do think a lot of women become quite boring once they hit their 40’s. Not boring to them because they no longer find having a few drinks with friends on a Saturday afternoon or whatever appealing/ fun, but if you’re the type of person who does still enjoy these things, then yes, you’ll find them boring.

Fronietelle · 16/03/2026 16:19

I've hit that age and just can't do drinking anymore.y My lovely DB regularly tells me how boring I am. He with the one child he has 50/50 and very hands on ex ILs so he can still pretend he's 25 when he's actually 44.

I've also got a disabled DC that needs full-time care so he can go whistle with his wonderful, ignorant, privileged existence. Nobody knows what other people's lives are truly like behind closed doors so don't judge OP, just be glad you're obviously having the time of your life.

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:20

SilkyredPjs1 · 16/03/2026 16:18

Nope, completely feel you OP! I feel exactly the same! I’m lucky in that a lot of my friends atm DO still enjoy going out and I tend to get dressed up and go ‘out out’ (though only to bars, no clubs, too old for that!) once every 6ish weeks I’d guess?

We are late 30’s/ v early 40’s though, not sure if that makes a difference. Having said that, we all have young children (toddler or very early primary age)

Honestly I do think a lot of women become quite boring once they hit their 40’s. Not boring to them because they no longer find having a few drinks with friends on a Saturday afternoon or whatever appealing/ fun, but if you’re the type of person who does still enjoy these things, then yes, you’ll find them boring.

Thank you, that makes me feel better as I thought I was the only one for a minute! I'm not thinking a club either, there are a lot of nice bars where I live where you can drink and dance. I do miss the drunk laughs. Sober laughs are great, but they're not the same!

OP posts:
Meorthelandlord · 16/03/2026 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

5128gap · 16/03/2026 16:23

LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:16

Fair. But I don't feel like having a few too many drinks once every few months is going to end my life significantly sooner!

Show quote history

No, I doubt it will. Its general lifestyle stuff, good diet, excercise, general clean living that's important. Once I'd got going with that (after 30 years of the opposite) I developed a bit of my body's a temple type thing and decided I might as well go all in. I still love to dance and laugh till I cry though and actually enjoy being sober for it as everything's more focused, I'm properly present and don't miss anything.

JuliettaCaeser · 16/03/2026 16:25

Are they still in the mumsy years looking after young children? We are out the other side. Kids are older teens off doing their own thing we are having a ball. Epic night out recently. As we are older we just don’t care and nights out are properly fun again. My friend and I were laughing so much we forgot to get off the bus. Home at 3am.

NemesisInferior · 16/03/2026 16:25

People just change. It doesn't make someone boring to not want to go out on the piss any more.

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That's because you're sober. ; )

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 16/03/2026 16:26

I think your solution of going out out with other friends instead and only making plans with friends who don’t want to do that anymore for other calmer things just has to be the way you play it. But when you’re with those friends, I’d also absolutely put a halt to conversations about housework and being tired, because frankly it’s just rude to meet up with people and then whinge about stuff when others want to enjoy themselves and not think about housework and feeling crap.

Rainbowdottie · 16/03/2026 16:26

Maybe you’ve just all outgrown each other. Granted I’m much older than you but I definitely don’t want to be doing the things you consider fun. That’s not a criticism of you or me, I liked them all too once upon a time…now I couldn’t think of anything worse. Maybe it’s time to let those friendships go. Everyone moves on, times change etc

IAxolotlQuestions · 16/03/2026 16:26

Sorry my dear. Alcohol makes me deaf, then gives me a god awful headache. I do enjoy a meal out and a bit of fun, but my liver is sending clear signals about one’s favourite poison…

canklesmctacotits · 16/03/2026 16:28

I hope you find your tribe, OP. I laugh till I cry probably 2 or 3 times a year these days, with friends or DH or my DC. But I need to sit down, I want to not have to shout to be heard over loud music, I don't like being jostled or having to repeat myself to be heard over braying men and screeching women. I don't want to waste money on overpriced drinks and mediocre food. I know when I'm being had and I won't fall for it anymore. I save my energy for the gym which helps me get good quality sleep each and every night. I also can't bring myself to be "silly" when my waking hours are predominantly occupied with absolute tragedy and inescapable, serious shit. I envy your ability to just forget everything momentarily. Maybe that's what the alcohol's for?

Original poster
LilacHedgehog123 · 16/03/2026 16:28

JuliettaCaeser · 16/03/2026 16:25

Are they still in the mumsy years looking after young children? We are out the other side. Kids are older teens off doing their own thing we are having a ball. Epic night out recently. As we are older we just don’t care and nights out are properly fun again. My friend and I were laughing so much we forgot to get off the bus. Home at 3am.

This is what I mean! Doing silly things that make you laugh your head off for days afterwards. It's not the same when everyone just wants dinner and bed by 9. I'm up for these nights too but I also want to go out out!

OP posts:
Laiste · 16/03/2026 16:28

Once i got to about 41/42 i decided never to be pissed in public ever again. It's just not a good look.

I don't mind getting drunk with DH once in a while at home. Or once in a blue moon at a big family party where you know everyone. But not pubbing and clubbing in your 40s.