AIBU to think everyone has become boring?

[LilacHedgehog123]

Does being mid to late forties mean you have to be boring?

I used to have such a laugh with my mates but these days all they talk about is peri-menopause and laundry! One has to be home by 9 as they're tired and another 2 have given up alcohol. They say they'll have just as good a time drinking water. I know you can have a great night out sober, I've done it many times. But it's not the same though is it? I miss getting tipsy and giggling about silly things until late. Yes we can all have a good laugh sober, obviously. But it's not the SAME. I just really miss those nights out where we're silly and we embarrass ourselves and we laugh until we cry. But everyone else seems to have forgotten. It's WORTH the hangover and the being tired. It's not every day, it's just once every few months!

I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead as they're so much more fun. I will always be there for my friends don't get me wrong, but when I want a night out, I want to go OUT OUT.

Does anyone else feel the same? When did having responsibilities mean you can't (very occasionally) be silly / stay up too late / be spontaneous? :(

I am 45 and used to be very into going out and getting tipsy and whatever else but since my late 30s it just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I just feel too unwell and tired the next day now and I’d rather be doing things I enjoy like gardening, DIY stuff and going out with my dh and dc (teen / adult age). Maybe that is boring. But I like being boring now. It’s peaceful ☺️

I think I have become boring, in the specific way you suggest. Since having children (specifically non sleeping children) I just don't ever feel it is worth the hangover. I might feel differently when they're older but for now I just have zero interest in alcohol, I gave up drinking regularly without even planning to and I don't miss it at all. I'll have a glass of wine with dinner every few months or so but I just don't want to drink other than that.

I don't actually think I am boring since my life is filled with fun, laughter, joy and abundance but I do accept that the "getting silly and tipsy" chapter has closed!

Urgh, yes to the non-stop peri-menopause talk. And endless talk about relatively minor ailments like IBS and insomnia. Or the row you’ve had with your child’s Head of Year about their uniform …

FFS, Sarah, it’s Saturday night, get a wine down you! 🙄

I agree about not clubbing, not my idea of fun!

That's a shame about it 'not being a good look'. I really don't care how I look in public as long as I'm not ruining anyone's evening!

Isn’t there a saying that if everyone around you is boring, there is a good chance it’s you 😀

To add: I was still wild up to my late 30s. Every other weekend without fail out out and not home till the birds were singing. Dodgy situations. Dodgy men. Big laughs and lots of stories to tell. Hung over on a sunday wearing sunglasses trying to make a roast dinner.

I just got bored with it all and got fed up with yelling to be heard, and the standing about and the groping blokes and the painful feet and the hang over ....

Now i like a lovely meal out with DH and home for a shag cup of tea and a film, or a friend over for coffee and a damn good chin wag.

Ha ha ha yes I'm not only talking about giving up alcohol, I get that it's not for everyone any more but the constant talk of 'peri-menopause', 'getting old' and 'bad backs' is boring too 😂

Yep, I've definitely become like that. I don't even have the excuse of having bad hangovers - I'm mid-50s but it still takes a lot of booze to give me a proper hangover! I just don't have the inclination any more tbh. After a couple of glasses I've had enough. It makes me sleep badly and can give me acid reflux. I was quite the party animal back in the day (especially with work colleagues early in my career), but I've never been keen on the giggly gang of girls vibe.

Ha, I'll take that. Maybe they're all planning a nice, quiet, sober night in (which finishes at 9pm) and not inviting me to ruin it ;)

I hear you! I would a night on the tiles…few drinks, few laughs and a bit of boogie. Near impossible these days. We make the plans but one by one everyone drops out.

Why ?! Are you a minor royal?

Sorry that was to the person never drinking in public beyond 45!

Re: the not a good look thing -

I think i do care who's looking. I have 4 DDs and i stopped wanting to get staggering about drunk once my eldest got to about 12 or 13. I just wanted to show my girls a bit of a more dignified mum.

I know they wouldn't have seen me out at the pub or whatever, but i just think i started to look at the 40 something men and women still getting pissed out and about and thought they looked .... i don't know ... kind of scummy !! Sorry can't think of a nicer word 🫣

Scummy mummy...

Wow.

I dont drink.

Am I boring 👀

Judgy much

Me and my girlfriends dont drink, we still have a laugh, a dance, a giggle, enjoy our nights.....were a lot healthier too

I feel bad for you 🤷‍♀️

The thing is they may have lots of groups of friends so your "every few months" ends up being every week or more.
I have three or four different groups of friends, if I was meeting each one every few months and getting slaughtered, on top of the industry events I have to attend which all have alcohol involved, plus family events, plus sometimes going out with DH, I would be a wreck.

🤣
yeah scummy mummy

Look i don't know i just think i went hard at it my 20s and 30s and got 'over it' by my 40s you know?

Just thought enoughs enough time to grow up.

People who drunk themselves silly have always felt rather boring to me. Maybe it's time to learn to be interesting and interested without a booze.

Find new friends to go out with.

That’s what I did at 35.

Met a new bunch of rave buddies, including my wonderful DP. 😊

I'm with you on relentless downer conversation. No-one wants that, and I hate that as much in my 40s as I ever did—but needing sleep and not wanting to drink alcohol is perfectly reasonable and not 'boring'. It's about doing what's right for them as individuals. You think the hangover's worth it, but they don't. Oh well! That's just life. You need to find a new group of friends to do those things with.

I am VERY fun and don't drink much. I think you need new friends.

I do drink and I do like to go out - but I hit 45 and fuck me, I am knackered a lot of the time and if I have more than two glasses of wine I cant sleep properly and get the sweats in the night, its just not worth it. Id rather go for a nice meal, earlier on and drive home at a reasonable time. Sorry, not sorry. Im hoping I grow out of it to be honest as I love a few wines but its just not worth the hassle

I think it may be possible to be interesting and professional and yet have the odd night out where you actually… dance and have fun?! And don’t talk about the flipping kids

I'm all for growing old disgracefully, and in my 60s I feel similar to you! Friends who who'll do lunch rather than dinner as they want to be home for cocoa and slippers by 9 pm. People who won't drive in the dark any more. People who moan about their health all the time, when it's nothing serious, just general aches and pains. We've all got them, but only big bores talk about them.

People who's idea of good conversation is to talk about other people who the listener doesn't know, or what was on TV the night before. They used to be interesting people who did interesting things and now they just vegetate.

Give me dying earlier with a pickled liver over any of that - at least I'll have had some fun! 🍻

It's a personality thing OP! I'm as you describe but without alcohol. So are my best friends who are both OAPs. They don't drink either. You've outgrown your friends I'd say because they aren't really who you thought they were, they were only that way because of alcohol. The whingers and moaners can get in the bin, I CBA with that. I want friendships to be fun, not a health-issue support group.