Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers day argument aibu

222 replies

AliBunny · 15/03/2026 14:17

AIBU?

Not sure if I'm overreacting or being gaslit by my husband.

This morning the kids made breakfast, my husband helped them to make me a cup of tea. We were out of the house by 8.30am to do park run. My husband wore shorts to run with my 5 year old son.

Afterwards we went for a coffee and had 30 mins to kill before a pre planned 11am appointment. As it was cold my husband went and sat in the car whilst I watched the children in the playground. I sent him pics of the kids, joked about how I wasn't tall enough and said 'what a mother's day'. On the way back to the car my 7 year old daughter weed on a tree and got it all over her clothes. I was slightly frustrated getting back to the car but got over it quickly.

Later after we got home I said something about it being mother's day and he said 'yes, don't we all know it'.

I felt really hurt by this comment and he says I'm overreacting. He then ignored me for 30 mins until I got upset and called him out.
It has escalated into an argument and I'm not sure if I'm the crazy one or if he's unreasonable.

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 17:43

AliBunny · 15/03/2026 15:12

For what it's worth, it genuinely wasn't meant in a barbed way 🤯

Show quote history

Unfortunately though that’s how it reads. What a day usually means it’s been a heavy or long one, it has negative connotations if not supported by a positive adjective (what a lovely day).

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 15/03/2026 17:43

Why on earth did you choose to go and stand in the park on your own? You could have just said that we're not going to the park today because Dad is wearing shorts and it's cold. It sounds like you didn't express at any time what you wanted just made vague references to it being mother's day and you not being happy with it.

DinahCat · 15/03/2026 17:45

Allswellthatendswelll · 15/03/2026 17:42

Is it? Sometimes kids get caught short as do adults. It's kind of weird to fixate/ comment on when it's not the point of the thread anyway. Just sounds like people are looking to take pot shots at the OP.

Show quote history

I have wees in all sorts of places..Old enough to mop myself up now though

brunettemic · 15/03/2026 17:46

AliBunny · 15/03/2026 14:24

At risk of going into details she has some bladder challenges (she had been at a cafe 30 mins before) and we were 30 mins walk from any loos. She couldn't wait.

Not sure why that's the focus of your replies given I'm feeling pretty fragile and sad, but thanks anyway

Fragile and sad about what? None of what you’ve said is a big deal.

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 17:47

At least the drama is over. Enjoy the rest of your day. ❤️

IWaffleAlot · 15/03/2026 18:02

A park run first thing in the morning, followed by the playground and then an appointment all before 12 sounds like the next level of hell to me. Why cram so much in if you wanted a relaxing day?

SeekOIt · 15/03/2026 18:26

It just sounds like you were both a bit fed up. I wouldn't read anything into it.

smithsgj · 15/03/2026 18:29

OneGreySeal · 15/03/2026 14:30

its Mother’s Day why are you doing stuff that isn’t Mother’s Day oriented? Park runs and cafe etc sounds like a big standard Sunday. When that itinerary was suggested speak up and say it’s not what you wanted. You have to set the standard you want.

As for the weeing on a tree, thread derailleurs will be out to get you.

Well they need to get on their bike

AgnesMcDoo · 15/03/2026 18:31

His crack about ‘don’t we all know it’ was mean.

I’d have been pissed off about that too.

TunnocksOrDeath · 15/03/2026 18:36

I've learned that if I want expectations to be met, I have to tell DH in advance what my expectations are - because we did not grow up in the same family, and what each of us thinks is 'normal' is very different. That's not to say either family's way of doing things is better, just very different.

TheEighthDwarf · 15/03/2026 18:43

Wishimaywishimight · 15/03/2026 14:21

It soumds like a pretty average day out tbh. He made a comment you didn't appreciate but hardly 'argument' territory.

Mildly curious why your child urinated on a tree though...

I’m more curious about how she did it

Rainbowdottie · 15/03/2026 18:44

It sounds you’ve both had a dig at each other, intentionally or not. It sounds like the day wasn’t living up to your expectations (whether it was or wasn’t) and in turn he had a sarcastic dig back at you, either because you’d tapped into his fleeting thought that maybe he should have got out the car/done more/helped more/made more of Mother’s Day….or he was genuinely fed up with the Mother’s Day tag.
in my experience and I’m very old, men have little to no interest in days like this or even Father’s Day. It’s just a tag for a day for a theme where most women have huge expectations. Rightly or not. Tbh I don’t think it’s worth either of you being upset or feeling fragile over it

Pricelessadvice · 15/03/2026 18:45

Is it normal to keep saying it’s Mother’s Day? My mum genuinely has never mentioned Mother’s Day ever, not on the day or in the lead up. She is very grateful for her gift and card and then that’s it. It woukd be weird if she mentioned several times that “it’s Mother’s Day”
Why are some mothers constantly harping on about it?

Zippidydoodah · 15/03/2026 18:53

This is not gaslighting in any way, shape or form.

TheEighthDwarf · 15/03/2026 18:56

AliBunny · 15/03/2026 17:13

Hi everyone, I did not expect this to get anywhere near as much reaction as it did!

To those of you that are mums acknowledging that sometimes it's nice to have a little slice of a day to feel appreciated, thank you.

To just clarify a couple of points:

  • I sent the text as a joke whilst he sat 'cold' in the car (appreciate it may not have appeared as funny to him)
  • He came out with the 'yes, we all know it's mother's day' comment a few hours later - said to my face in a cutting way, not a text.
  • I challenged him on it, said it upset me and he claimed it wasnt meant with any negative connotation. I took myself away for 15 mins, went back and challenged him and he then admitted he did mean it nastily. He then gave me the silent treatment. I sulked. We both sulked.
  • Im not looking for a day off or loads of ££ presents, just a day with a few extra thank yous and maybe the opportunity not to cook/clean up after everyone!

Since posting this, we have both apologised, cheered up and will celebrate with a family cuddle on the sofa and watch last night's gladiators on iPlayer.

P.s. Wild wees in a big, not hugely public park, behind a lot of trees are not something to get so emotional over - totally normal imo!

Behind trees totally normal. On trees, as first said, struggling to work out the gymnastics that would involve 😆

Notmyreality · 15/03/2026 19:01

Honestly OP you just sound like hard work.

SlayBelle · 15/03/2026 19:11

I can’t believe OP is getting called passive aggressive when her husband is the one sitting in the car in his shorts and then having a sulk about Mother’s Day after OP mentions it ONCE.

I bet he’s the kind of man who tries to spoil other people’s (mainly OP’s) special occasions. Does he often get in a mood on birthdays, when the attention is not on him? I expect he’s happy to kiss and make up now, because he’s satisfied he’s already soured Mother’s Day for you. Mission accomplished.

Honestly, some of the replies on here are staggering.

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 15/03/2026 19:12

You said you had half an hour to kill before the appointment so you must have had slightly less than 30m watching them in the park….. texts and videos during this time sounds incredibly over the top to me. I think you were digging at him and he got annoyed. I could understand it if he’d left you to watch them for a couple of hours!

Molluscsong · 15/03/2026 19:33

If you need a wee, use a tree.
If you need a poo, use the loo.

LaughingCat · 15/03/2026 19:34

AliBunny · 15/03/2026 17:13

Hi everyone, I did not expect this to get anywhere near as much reaction as it did!

To those of you that are mums acknowledging that sometimes it's nice to have a little slice of a day to feel appreciated, thank you.

To just clarify a couple of points:

  • I sent the text as a joke whilst he sat 'cold' in the car (appreciate it may not have appeared as funny to him)
  • He came out with the 'yes, we all know it's mother's day' comment a few hours later - said to my face in a cutting way, not a text.
  • I challenged him on it, said it upset me and he claimed it wasnt meant with any negative connotation. I took myself away for 15 mins, went back and challenged him and he then admitted he did mean it nastily. He then gave me the silent treatment. I sulked. We both sulked.
  • Im not looking for a day off or loads of ££ presents, just a day with a few extra thank yous and maybe the opportunity not to cook/clean up after everyone!

Since posting this, we have both apologised, cheered up and will celebrate with a family cuddle on the sofa and watch last night's gladiators on iPlayer.

P.s. Wild wees in a big, not hugely public park, behind a lot of trees are not something to get so emotional over - totally normal imo!

Awww…enjoy your evening. It’s always the tiny things that blow up into random arguments, blindsiding you! Glad you sorted it all out.

And wild wees are perfectly normal - I’m so confused by the abject consternation 😂 SheWees are a useful alternative to squat, tilt and pray though!

TheSlantedOwl · 15/03/2026 19:39

Sounds like he made minimal effort and got unnecessarily moody with you.

Ilovelurchers · 15/03/2026 19:41

Hi OP, glad you resolved things. My thoughts on the matter are:

A) nothing wrong with weeing in the countryside, as long as it's done discretely. Foxes, rabbits etc also wee.
B) nothing wrong with you expecting a bit of a fuss on Mother's Day! I'm divorced, but my ex bought my daughter to spend the day with me (even tho it is "his weekend" - are 50/50) and she got me real pearl earrings which I assume he paid for, plus chocolate and a card... And yes I do think dad's should make sure the kids make an effort on Mother's Day - we moms tend to do the same on Father's Day, after all! Mumsnet seems full of people today thinking you are some absurd kind of egotist if you look for anything more than a grudgingly muttered "Happy Mother's Day" and a card the kids school make them make..... But actually, yeah, I think I'm worth more than that! And other moms too....
C) if your husband regularly gives you the silent treatment, he's actually not that nice a guy.

Anyway glad your day improved. But please give some thought to C....

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/03/2026 19:42

muggart · 15/03/2026 14:42

he sounds ungrateful tbh. it’s mother’s day and he got a break to himself while you watched the kids alone. instead of saying thank you or acknowledging your efforts he made a snappy remark implying that just because it’s mother’s day doesn’t mean you should have expected anything less.

not a massive issue but he was tactless and rude.

I agree.
He basically sat in the car whilst you looked after the kids because he's not sensible enough to know that he'd be cold after a run in mid March.

Whattodo1610 · 15/03/2026 19:58

I think your dh just wanted time to himself and chose to sit in the car. I wouldn’t have had that tbh, he should have taken joggers to put over his shorts 🤷‍♀️

5128gap · 15/03/2026 19:58

If I'd got out of a half hour at the park and sat in a warm car on my phone instead, then I'd have acknowledged that my partner did the graft and I didn't have to. All he had to do was reply "Not the most relaxing day so far. Will make sure it gets better" and all would have been well. Baffles me when people either don't know how to, or won't, do the simplest of things to oil the wheels of their relationships.