4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

[bytheway9]

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

Instead of feeling resentful and sorry for yourself I would make changes to make your children more appreciative and grateful, and your husband more considerate.

They should be excited to do something for you for Mother’s Day.

How old are they? Why has DH not done anything this year.
Mine are teens. The elder has been very good and I know the younger has got me a gift etc but she is a bit weird about this kind of thing and still hasn’t acknowledged it. I’ve taken her to her sports match so we’ll see what I get when that’s over!
Any child over the age of about 10 should be able to come up with at least a card. I do find it so lazy, thoughtless and uncaring when they can’t even be arsed to do that. Sorry yours are being a bit shit. My youngest isn’t winning any medals right now either! 🙄

Unless your children are adults this is all on your DH.

5.8.10.13

The 13 year old should know better but tbh your husband is at fault here.

Your husband is obviously inconsiderate, but at this ages your children can and should do something for Mother’s Day for you, even if it’s as simple as making a card, which they are all able to do by themselves.

My eldest is 5 and she was SO excited to celebrate Mother’s Day. She made me lots of things and she has been on the lookout for a present for me for weeks until she found the right one and got DH to buy it in secret.

I’m guessing an adult told her it was Mother’s Day though?

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Yes I blame your husband but also agree your 13 year old should have done something. Are they a girl or boy? Usually girls are more switched on to these things. You could ask are we just forgetting memorable days like birthdays Father’s Day etc?

Then tell them.
Make it clear that you’re not happy.

Girls are only more switched on if you teach them to be. There’s nothing innate in girls to make them remember important dates.

Eldest is a boy but the others are girls.

Have you pointed out to them it Mothers Day and that they can do lunch?
Have you sat down and said it’s Mothers Day, I’d love a cup of tea.
I would be annoyed too, but sometimes we can all do the martyr thing (done it myself many times) and just carry on as normal ignoring the fact that they haven’t made any effort at all.

They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.

How have you responded to this? Have you set yourself up as a regular skivvy, so they're experienced in not appreciating you while you run around pleasing everyone?

There's another adult in the house. Down tools. Take yourself off for a walk, nap or some other activity and ignore them.

God, why do women feel the need for this level of martyrdom?!
No one’s making you run around like a slave for them!

It's not acceptable and this is on your husband, but equally, you're martyring yourself by rushing around after their demands for drinks and lunch.

I'd be taking myself out and leaving husband to it.

Why don’t you say it’s Mother’s Day I’m going for lunch. See to yourselves. Take yourself out even if it’s a sandwich in a park.

Why are you waiting on?

It's not a hotel.

Educate your children. Am a single mother so not expecting a man to get involved I let my 4 and 12 year old know that on Mother’s Day they appreciate their mother. The 12 year old made breakfast, has cooked lunch while the 4 year old has delivered to my bedroom.

You are being a martyr. Just say, it is mother's day so when you get your own lunch, please get me something!
And mean it....
Your DH can step in if they are not able.
I don't know why women sit around all day being resentful....make the day about you! Take yourself off for coffee, cake and a bit of retail therapy if they are ignoring you.

For goodness sake, instead of running around after them and posting on here, tell them that you are disappointed.. and you aren't there to serve them.

Then take yourself out for the day. Literally, leave and go and do something for yourself.

Why are you doing this? Stop, sit down and say actually you all know it's mother's day so you lot go and make ME lunch and a cup of tea.

Stop allowing poor behaviour, yes it would be nice for them to do so on their own accord but they clearly won't so make them respect you, make them treat you properly, create these expectations within them until it is something they just do.

I would sit down with them and when they ask about lunch, say you’re having the day off so lunch is up to them.

Get lunch ready & bring drinks in?! Seriously? You’re not their servant OP!

rather than get into it in the heat of the moment - I waited til the following March. And sent this a few years back. It worked.

Whilst I have your attention….

It is the first of March.
In March every year is Mother’s Day. In Jan every year is my birthday.

Now that you are all 16 & over (can marry, join army etc! 😀) I want to lay out what I think are reasonable expectations on these 2 days.

I would like cards from you collectively or individually to arrive on or before said day from wherever you are in the world. Moonpig is your friend in this. Your phone and diarised advance reminders will also help you.

Anything else is above & beyond & thoughtfulness is what is of value not cost - but it is the thought and planning - as I do for your birthdays, Xmas and so on - that I think is a minimum requirement. Ideally again that should be given on the day in question. Sometimes of course things happen beyond our control but in general that’s something to aim for.

I think you all know the dimmunition in emotional value of something is handed over weeks later.

It should also be something you bring into your future significant relationships.

Last Mother’s Day I did not receive a card from one of you and it really really upset me. It’s not how you were raised. You all have of course given me many thoughtful beautiful cards and gifts loads of times over the years but last Mother’s Day was a bit of a low.
Lots & lots of love, Mum xxx