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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

241 replies

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 11:52

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

OP posts:
moodybluehpc · 16/03/2026 18:29

sunsetsites · 15/03/2026 12:30

God, why do women feel the need for this level of martyrdom?!
No one’s making you run around like a slave for them!

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I can't believe you put up with this

Eurovisionwatcherbecauselol · 16/03/2026 18:33

igelkott2026 · 16/03/2026 18:19

Genuine question but why? It's a made-up day that means nothing.

I'd be annoyed if my son ignored my birthday but Mother's Day - meh.

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It's not a made up day? Mothering Sunday is very much a proper day! Father's day has been made up though

MustWeDoThis · 16/03/2026 18:34

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 15/03/2026 11:57

Unless your children are adults this is all on your DH.

Oooh an ACOTAR fan 🤩.

Yes - All on your husband. Especially if they don't have money of their own. Did the 13yr old say anything? The oldest should have made you some breakfast in bed, at least. Hubby could have bought them ingredients to do it.

SteveandLeanne · 16/03/2026 18:35

waitingforthehallmarkedman · 16/03/2026 18:15

Glad you are pleased with the minimum crumbs you ended up with. And you'll probably still knock yourself out on father's day.

Don’t be so spiteful

SteveandLeanne · 16/03/2026 18:36

moodybluehpc · 16/03/2026 18:29

I can't believe you put up with this

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I dont think comments like this are supportive, they are intended to make the OP feel worse about themselves

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 16/03/2026 18:38

MustWeDoThis · 16/03/2026 18:34

Oooh an ACOTAR fan 🤩.

Yes - All on your husband. Especially if they don't have money of their own. Did the 13yr old say anything? The oldest should have made you some breakfast in bed, at least. Hubby could have bought them ingredients to do it.

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You just know that Rhysand would remember Mother’s Day 😂

ReadingTime · 16/03/2026 18:39

I’m glad your DH was at least apologetic apologetic about it and tried to make it up to you OP. I would make sure to remind him in Jan/Feb that you want a major song and dance organised for you this time.

CanadaNotAMum · 16/03/2026 18:49

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

They’ve treated you pretty inconsiderately, why are you running around for them? If your partner was home, you should have announced that you were taking yourself out for a treat as it’s Mother’s Day and that you’ll be home in time to enjoy the supper that they will be sorting. And then you go out to the movies or shopping or to have a cry eating junk food in the car.

The combo of shock and embarrassment would have been a lesson.

Kelly1969 · 16/03/2026 18:53

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:24

Eldest is a boy but the others are girls.

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Ahh that makes sense, the girls are a bit young to t ink about sorting without prompting from dad, boys don’t always think of these things

nomas · 16/03/2026 19:01

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:09

I haven’t said anything, I know they know it’s Mother’s Day, they watched me buy and post my own mums gift.

It’s not the same, Mother’s Day to me is a chance to say thank you to my mum for everything she does, I don’t want to ask for that as I am not entitled to anything but as a mum of 4 I thought just one of them might have given me a thought as usually I get a card or something but I will get over it.
I put so much effort into making things special for everyone else for birthdays and Christmas and Father’s Day but it’s only because I usually do it all.

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Please tell us you’re going to be making zero effort for Father’s Day?

Nicewoman · 16/03/2026 19:05

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 11:52

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

You’ve only got yourself to blame. My mum absolutely made sure that all her kids made a special fuss of her birthday and Mother’s Day and likewise her kids and husband’s birthday. Nobody ever forgot and I remember even as a 5 year old circling birthdays on a calendar so I wouldn’t forget

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 16/03/2026 19:08

Kelly1969 · 16/03/2026 18:53

Ahh that makes sense, the girls are a bit young to t ink about sorting without prompting from dad, boys don’t always think of these things

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Boys do if they’re taught to. Remembering important occasions isn’t an innate biological ability only found in girls. It’s learned behaviour.

latetothefisting · 16/03/2026 19:08

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 22:30

Well my son went out after lunch and returned home with a card and a bar of chocolate which I was so pleased with.
Dh looked awkward and said ‘oh crap was that this week?

Ds then asked his sisters what they had bought and they said they thought Dad would have bought something so Dh apologised saying he didn’t realise it was today, he then asked me if I was upset or mad at him which I thought was strange, I said I was a bit disappointed and he said ‘do you want me to go out and get you something quick? So I reminded him it was Sunday and he said well do you want something from the co-op?
I joked we could do with some bananas and he said ‘what about a bottle of wine to cheer you up and suddenly I thought of @trufflerufflesuggestion of sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich in the pouring rain except this time I pictured me sat there with a bottle of wine and decided actually I’m ok.

I did go out and buy the cushions though.

to be fair you sound as though you've got a cracking sense of humour OP.
I hope you love your new cushions. What do they look like?

Fair play to DS, and DH sounds a bit thoughtless rather than poor intentioned. I agree with the suggestion of matching his energy on father's day. Also if any of the DDs bring it up and ask if you were upset, I wouldn't shy away from saying yes - not guilt tripping them or anything but just an acknowledgement that, yes, you were a bit sad they didn't even say happy mother's day to you.

ladyrushford · 16/03/2026 19:44

My husband had to work away this weekend. I have three kids - 13, 11 and 4. The 13 has complex needs so wouldn’t be capable of thinking about doing anything so I try not to let things like this fall onto my 11 year old daughter because you know, sexism and gender roles etc etc. But I didn’t get one Happy Mother’s Day from them, and they knew it was the day because we’d FaceTimed my Mum and I asked them to send Happy Mother’s Day texts to their grandmas.

But me- nada. I was really hurt and said so. I got a handmade card at 8 pm that night 🙈 so I get it OP, I really do.

Surgz · 16/03/2026 19:53

Why are you running around !!!???. I would take myself out and tell them why!!

Iloveacurry · 16/03/2026 19:57

If I was you, I’d definitely remembering this on Father’s Day.

FlorianTV · 16/03/2026 20:05

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Why are you running around after them? Why haven’t you told them ‘it’s Mother’s Day, make your own drinks?’

I think you should have just mentioned it and said it’s Mother’s Day, I’m disappointed in all of you while they still had time to save the day and do something nice for you.

Jack80 · 16/03/2026 20:37

I would speak to husband for future events if they all cooked for you save you cooking or he took them to get some flowers and a card.

Netcurtainnelly · 16/03/2026 20:45

OneTealTurtle · 15/03/2026 12:09

Your husband is obviously inconsiderate, but at this ages your children can and should do something for Mother’s Day for you, even if it’s as simple as making a card, which they are all able to do by themselves.

My eldest is 5 and she was SO excited to celebrate Mother’s Day. She made me lots of things and she has been on the lookout for a present for me for weeks until she found the right one and got DH to buy it in secret.

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Problem is, some ppl have had home made cards but complained they haven't had flowers etc. How does anyone know what to do to please the person exactly right?

It's time mums and dad's day were consigned to the bin.

It's a minefield for alot of people.

ForNoisyCat · 16/03/2026 21:00

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Stop running around after them. Kindly tell tgem
that as it’s Mother’s Day yiu are having a well deserved rest and in fact yiu would quite like it if they were to bring yiu a drink so yiu can watch the film or tv

dpbarbie9 · 17/03/2026 06:41

How horrible
Don't bother with father's day!!!

Mcoco · 17/03/2026 08:02

A bit late but next time call out happy mothers day i am off to have some me time!

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 17/03/2026 16:56

CanadaNotAMum · 16/03/2026 18:49

They’ve treated you pretty inconsiderately, why are you running around for them? If your partner was home, you should have announced that you were taking yourself out for a treat as it’s Mother’s Day and that you’ll be home in time to enjoy the supper that they will be sorting. And then you go out to the movies or shopping or to have a cry eating junk food in the car.

The combo of shock and embarrassment would have been a lesson.

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Oh this!

I know it kind of worked out in the end, but a bit of a shock to give them a kick up the arse doesn’t hurt occasionally. Know your worth!

NavyTurtle · 18/03/2026 12:18

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

'They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.'
Are you a martyr or just a mug. They obviously have no respect for you as you appear to be their personally servant.

MyBrightPeer · 18/03/2026 12:27

truffleruffle · 15/03/2026 12:21

Yes I blame your husband but also agree your 13 year old should have done something. Are they a girl or boy? Usually girls are more switched on to these things. You could ask are we just forgetting memorable days like birthdays Father’s Day etc?

Girls are more switched on because they’re socialised into being switched on - they get taught that remembering things like important dates, gifting is women’s work and not something boys need to remember.

OP, this is on your husband.