4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

[bytheway9]

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

I would leave it until tomorrow to raise the issue, because you never know if someone is going to surprise you.

if not, it is an issue that should be raised. If your children are adult, then with them. If they’re still young, then with their father.

Therein lies your problem. “Get it yourself” would be my response.

Why are you running round after them?
" Mum, where's lunch?"
" It's Mother's Day- you're getting it".

They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in

@bytheway9 I would go out somewhere and leave them to it. Selfish gits.

OP I would not be running round getting them drinks or lunch. I'd be out the door and down the nearest garden centre to get myself a present and probably lunch there as well.

‘Right it’s Mother’s Day and none of you have mentioned it or made any plans so I’m off out for a coffee and cake. Your dad’s in charge, I’m not cooking either so sort yourselves out. I expect all the school stuff and packed lunches down when I get back too.’

What are you thinking OP? Turn off the wifi and leave the ungrateful sods to it and go buy yourself some cake!

Stop running around.

Say it's mother's day, you are not cooking.

Set your expectations with them.

I said during the week, its mother's day on Sunday, I'm not cooking .
Dh has been really busy but he can get a takeaway if he doesn't want to cook. I expect a day off. And he knows that.

I haven’t said anything, I know they know it’s Mother’s Day, they watched me buy and post my own mums gift.

It’s not the same, Mother’s Day to me is a chance to say thank you to my mum for everything she does, I don’t want to ask for that as I am not entitled to anything but as a mum of 4 I thought just one of them might have given me a thought as usually I get a card or something but I will get over it.
I put so much effort into making things special for everyone else for birthdays and Christmas and Father’s Day but it’s only because I usually do it all.

I’d walk in the lounge and say “I’m going out for a few hours. You’ll have to sort your own food and drink. Just so you know, I’m really disappointed that’s it’s 1pm and no one has acknowledged Mothers Day. I think I deserve better. I’ll see you later.”

Then I’d go out for a walk, a sandwich, coffee and leave them to it for the afternoon.

If there’s no improvement when you get home, you have a husband problem as well as ungrateful kids. All they have to say is Happy Mothers Day and here’s a card. It’s a very small gesture.

I have never run round my family like this and been at their beck and call. Mother’s Day or otherwise. I think you need to rethink your status in your family and how you assert yourself. You need some self-respect. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

Tell them to get their own lunch and drinks. Go to a cafe and have a lovely peaceful lunch.

I have three children. My youngest has made a beautiful homemade card at school and the other two have signed a card bought by my husband along with a few gifts. My eldest is awkward and not very lovie dovie and I cant ever imagine him uttering the words "happy mother's day" let alone any proper fuss but I fully accept this. My expectations are such that i accept them all how they are and im not interested in forcing anything. At the end of the day they are all well rounded, decent kids and im grateful for that. I dont need any forced fuss because then it's just not genuine is it.

Stop being a martyr and tell them. You are setting them and yourself up for failure and upset. Let them know you are disappointed and let them fix it this year. Then next year it'll be better. If you do nothing then it'll be the same next year OR they'll feel awful but too late to fix it.

Did you not get crafts from school from the younger two? I got school crafts from my 5 and 7 year olds, but I'm not sure when that stops.

This made me laugh as I looked out the window at the pouring rain and pictured myself on a park bench eating a soggy sandwich to cheer myself up but I know what you mean.

I did see some nice cushions yesterday while I was out which I liked but they were a bit pricey so I might just treat myself and buy them as they are lovely.

This is what you need to do OP. It's your job to raise considerate, pleasant, thoughtful children. Otherwise the pattern just repeats itself in adulthood and they make awful life partners.

Talk to them.

Yeah definitely this!

I hope you are able to take some time for yourself today

No not this year, usually they do bring something home.

I also have 4 children I don’t celebrate it so I don’t expect anything from them. I think nursery was the last time they made me something. I don’t get my mum anything either.

🤣🤣

They’re children, they need prompting and organising by their dad but he hasn’t bothered. Father’s Day is on the 21st of June - looks like you can ignore it this year.

My younger child excitedly came running in to see me with his decorated card and cute gift chosen; melted my heart, had it marked on calander.
9 year old no card, no happy mother's day, despite dh asking him. He is AuADHD, but highly intelligent; I have no idea if this is to do with that, or a personality thing, but he has always been this way. He is awkward about his birthday, doesn't want anybody to say happy birthday, just likes a cake and quiet blowing out of candles etc, however excited when he gets the gift he wants more than anything in the world.
He doesn't want to do anything for other people's occasions at all. Dh thinks ds needs to learn to have some thought for others, I am unsure if this is something he can help though. I want him to do it because he wants to do it, or it would mean nothing anyway.

Agree with others op, don't bother for father's day. 💐

I don't understand. It's Mother's Day. Why do you serve them while being disappointed? You can't force them to spoil and appreciate you, but you can look after yourself and spoil and appreciate yourself. You should have just declared that it's Mother's Day, so they are in charge of cooking, while you are enjoying yourself. Do something nice today.

Stop running round after them. Go into the sitting room and tell them as it’s Mother’s Day you are putting your feet up and it’s up to them and their dad ti run round after you today and cook all meals. So can one of them please get you a cup of tea

then when it’s Father’s Day you dothe same to your husband, no cards or presents

OP you are a lost cause if you think buying something for the home is a treat for you.

March into the lounge, commandeer the TV remote, switch to what you want to watch and say, I know you've been planning something special for me on Mother's Day so are we going out or are you all cooking? May I have my first glass of wine now?

Uniforms and lunch boxes will be ready before bedtime won't they?