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Original poster

4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

241 replies

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 11:52

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

OP posts:
somanychristmaslights · 15/03/2026 14:13

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Well more fool you for running around after them.

DemonsRocks · 15/03/2026 14:14

Bloodyhell I'd lose my shit aswell. Selfish sods. I'd definitely tell them I'm disappointed with the lack of acknowledgement.

Do you want them to grow up as selfish adults? Pull them up on it.

whatthesigma · 15/03/2026 14:15

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Why? Just don’t! Go read, run a bath, go for a walk - declare it’s Mother’s Day so you’re off duty! My feet are well and truly up! Eldest has given me a gift and card, youngest has done jack all but is making me tea tonight. I’ve told them it’s Mother’s Day and I’m doing what I want. Which is nothing!

BlackCat14 · 15/03/2026 14:17

Sorry OP but I too, think you’re being a martyr, and a bit silly. Yes it’s disappointing that they’ve done nothing. Could there not have been conversations in the run up to the day about what you’d like to do? I have a seven month old baby and brought it up about two weeks ago with my partner and he said “don’t worry, Henry and I have it all in hand!” But if he hadnt already been planing something, I’m sure me bringing it up lightly would have spurred him on, and made him realise it’s important to me.

And as for you running around like their maid whilst simmering with anger, that’s on you. Say something for gods sake! Let them know how you feel. And have a damn good word with your husband tonight about how to teach your children to mark these occasions.

SandyHappy · 15/03/2026 14:19

outerspacepotato · 15/03/2026 13:36

Why don't you say something instead of stewing and being their maid?

Hey, did you guys forget it's Mother's Day?

Simple and clear.

Why the fuck are you running around waiting on them while they watch a film?

You get what you tolerate.

Why the fuck are you running around waiting on them while they watch a film?

You get what you tolerate.

This is so true, and you don't seem to care either way so why would they? Maybe they genuinely think you aren't bothered?

You need to communicate your expectations before you can get upset that they haven't lived up to them. Your DH is the one that has massively failed you IMO, what has he said?

andthat · 15/03/2026 14:23

OriginalUsername2 · 15/03/2026 13:30

They’re children, they need prompting and organising by their dad but he hasn’t bothered. Father’s Day is on the 21st of June - looks like you can ignore it this year.

This.

This is on your husband. Not the kids.
Use your voice and tell him that you’re hurt by his lack of effort.

Beautifulhaiku · 15/03/2026 14:23

KidsDoBetter · 15/03/2026 12:56

rather than get into it in the heat of the moment - I waited til the following March. And sent this a few years back. It worked.

Whilst I have your attention….

It is the first of March.
In March every year is Mother’s Day. In Jan every year is my birthday.

Now that you are all 16 & over (can marry, join army etc! 😀) I want to lay out what I think are reasonable expectations on these 2 days.

I would like cards from you collectively or individually to arrive on or before said day from wherever you are in the world. Moonpig is your friend in this. Your phone and diarised advance reminders will also help you.

Anything else is above & beyond & thoughtfulness is what is of value not cost - but it is the thought and planning - as I do for your birthdays, Xmas and so on - that I think is a minimum requirement. Ideally again that should be given on the day in question. Sometimes of course things happen beyond our control but in general that’s something to aim for.

I think you all know the dimmunition in emotional value of something is handed over weeks later.

It should also be something you bring into your future significant relationships.

Last Mother’s Day I did not receive a card from one of you and it really really upset me. It’s not how you were raised. You all have of course given me many thoughtful beautiful cards and gifts loads of times over the years but last Mother’s Day was a bit of a low.
Lots & lots of love, Mum xxx

I love this so much. Well done you 👍

Pessismistic · 15/03/2026 14:23

Op could they be pretending to have forgotten then they will surprise you. I would get dh into another room and say have the kids got me anything if he says oh shit no then tell him to finish lunch whilst you go rest and then tell him he should have done something for his 4 ungrateful kids. Sorry op this is crap and I really hope there is a treat coming your way soon.

sofiamofia · 15/03/2026 14:23

I don’t want to ask for that as I am not entitled to anything

What does this even mean? Do you think that your entire family are entitled to treats and being made a fuss of but you aren't.

Stop being a martyr!

In the same way that you taught your kids to share with other kids, take turns, be gracious in defeat and all the other lessons that makes society work, it is your duty to teach them not to take the person that does the most for them for granted.

I don't agree with the ignore Father's Day approach because that just leads to ignoring any cause for celebration and what are we on this earth for if it isn't to have a good time.

Have a family chat, let everybody say what they would like to happen on birthdays, Mothers Day, etc and agree on an approach for all so that your children can see that every member of their family is important and worth celebrating.

somanychristmaslights · 15/03/2026 14:26

Not all kids need reminding. I walked past a group of young teenagers on bikes yesterday, only around 14 and I heard one of them ask what the rest of them are doing for Mother’s Day! I was shocked but proud of them 😂

SteveandLeanne · 15/03/2026 14:31

That’s really crap of them OP and I don’t think it is your DH fault at their ages. I can understand you don’t fancy going out in the rain by yourself as a PP suggested but could you order a lovely takeaway just for yourself? That might get the message through about what selfishness looks and feels like.
I’m hoping that they have a surprise in store for you though, it’s not too late yet x

Beautifulhaiku · 15/03/2026 14:32

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:09

I haven’t said anything, I know they know it’s Mother’s Day, they watched me buy and post my own mums gift.

It’s not the same, Mother’s Day to me is a chance to say thank you to my mum for everything she does, I don’t want to ask for that as I am not entitled to anything but as a mum of 4 I thought just one of them might have given me a thought as usually I get a card or something but I will get over it.
I put so much effort into making things special for everyone else for birthdays and Christmas and Father’s Day but it’s only because I usually do it all.

Show quote history

Why do you not feel like you’re entitled to receive a fuss on Mother’s Day? Ideally they would do it without you saying anything but unfortunately sometimes in life you need to let people know your expectations. Why leave people having to guess what is really important to you if you’ve never said it? With the age of your kids this is mostly on your husband to corral them a certain extent - have you let him know you’re upset?

GinPin2 · 15/03/2026 14:32

Definitely husband at fault. Just like my husband used to be and also one of our sons in law. Luckily KS1 school, pre school, Sunday school and toddler group have come up trumps with the cards and flowers. And I ordered a brilliant Wonderbly Mother's Day book featuring the children and Mummy to share and make them all laugh, Mummy ( vet nurse ) has been at work all morning !!!

T1Dmama · 15/03/2026 14:32

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Why are you running around doing everything for them?
Tell your husband it’s his day to do it and take yourself out the house !

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/03/2026 14:33

You need to go on strike for a bit, OP! No dinner, make a sandwich if you’re hungry - and preferably take yourself off to a hotel for the night. And tell them why!!
Have you got a P Inn anywhere near?

MooFroo · 15/03/2026 14:35

@bytheway9 I really do hope they surprise you soon!

Mine ignored it a few years ago and I was really upset. I went out and stayed out the entire day, remember calling a friend and crying about what a bad mum I must be for the kids to not even acknowledge it.

Turns out they had planned on acting like they’d forgotten and had booked a restaurant for dinner. I spent the day at my friends house and they all turned up there begging for forgiveness. I was in no mood to go out by then so we ended up getting a take away at home when they finally gave me their cards and gifts.

it never is about the gifts for me but is about the thoughtfulness and a chance for DC to show they love and appreciate me as their mother.

ShelleyCarpenter · 15/03/2026 14:35

“They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.”

Why are you letting this happen? My children are 24 and 21 and they have never sat watching a film while I run around doing everything as they call out for lunch and drinks, never mind on Mother’s Day.

PS5Gamer · 15/03/2026 14:36

Why on earth are you running around after them all! Take yourself off somewhere, go and buy the cushions you like, or something entirely for yourself.

Another shit Husband, do the same for him for Father’s Day.

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 14:36

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:27

This made me laugh as I looked out the window at the pouring rain and pictured myself on a park bench eating a soggy sandwich to cheer myself up but I know what you mean.

I did see some nice cushions yesterday while I was out which I liked but they were a bit pricey so I might just treat myself and buy them as they are lovely.

Show quote history

Why is buying a household item a treat for you?

Get out, find a nice place for lunch, don’t drive and treat yourself to a couple of glasses of wine.

Beautifulhaiku · 15/03/2026 14:36

Also if this continues you’re both teaching your kids that it’s normal for women to make a fuss of everyone else on special days but to not receive any appreciation themselves - this is how this set-up continues through generations!

theblackradiator · 15/03/2026 14:36

The day is not over yet op, maybe there are waiting for a moment to surprise you could that be a possibility? hope so op, it does hurt when we feel unimportant and forgotten about. One of my dc isn't very thoughtful and has to be reminded and prompted about cards and gifts etc.

IrrationallyAngry · 15/03/2026 14:37

Goodness gracious @bytheway9, your post has made me sad and angry at the same time. Sad that your children haven't remembered and your huband hasn't reminded them and made sure they sorted something. However, it's also made me really angry, because you are allowing this to continue and are being a martyr to it. WHY are you running round after them, WHY are you even contemplating making them lunch? Stop it, just stop it, you are allowing them to wipe their feet all over you!

Right now, go and sit on the sofa, pick up the remote on the way, sit down, change channel and when they all start chuntering tell them in no uncertain terms that it's Mother's Day, you are their mother and it's about time they stopped mistaking you for their unpaid skivvie and that you are doing nothing else for the day. Then give your husband a hard stare and ask him if he understands.

Why would you allow them to treat you like that?

MayaPinion · 15/03/2026 14:38

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Stop being a martyr! There’s no point in moaning to us - tell them it’s Mother’s Day and they’re getting their own snacks and making dinner. And you want a treat sharpish.

SunnyRedSnail · 15/03/2026 14:39

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Then its you being an absolute mug here.

Stop running round after them and go out and get yourself tea and cake.

Or at the very least sit down and do whatever you want to do and do NOTHING for them.

I refuse to lift a finger today. Except I do have some work to do!

Calliopespa · 15/03/2026 14:39

OneTealTurtle · 15/03/2026 11:55

Instead of feeling resentful and sorry for yourself I would make changes to make your children more appreciative and grateful, and your husband more considerate.

They should be excited to do something for you for Mother’s Day.

So you mean, essentially, this is down to OP...