4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

[bytheway9]

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

You have to tell people how you feel . Go in there tell them you are hurt and upset that no one has acknowledged Mother’s Day and say you are disappointed after all you do for them . Your children and husband need to hear this and know it’s not ok to be selfish and take people for granted and that they should appreciate and acknowledge what they have .
Then go out buy your cushions and whatever you fancy . It doesn’t make up for the hurt but don’t just carry on in silence secretly brooding .

It gets better when they grow up. Flowers, chocolates and cards from younger two (teens) and went out for a lovely dog walk and lunch with eldest daughter as the others are working today.

This is your husband's failure. Your children aren't yet adults and he should very much be the driver of thoughtful behaviour and gestures so that the children understand.

I know it's not the point and it won't make you much happier, but this year don't do anything for father's day. And today, take yourself out of the house, do some retail therapy, and leave them to themselves.

The kitchen is closed today because it’s Mother’s Day. And get your feet off the table! I don’t want to hear a word from any of you.

I'd check the local cinema listings and then fuck them all off. Let your husband cook them all dinner tonight and go and do something nice for yourself.

Don't they watch TV or go to the shops?

I agree, I'd be like what another poster said - "actually, I'm having a sit down for 5 minutes, seeing as it's Mother's Day get the kettle on please as I'd love you to make me a cup of tea."

I never understand how no one has spoken about the plan before today. I see this all the time on mn for special days.

Weeks ago we spoke about what we wanted to do/would I see my own mum etc.. so there was a mothers day plan just like we would for birthdays, fathers day etc

In any case. Hope youre not being a martyr and told them straight what a disappointment they are and have done something nice for you!

I couldn't tell you the last time anyone in this house watched an advert. Shops maybe but taking much notice probably not. I would 3xpect at 5 for an adult to still need to tell them its going to be mothers day

What do YOU want to do today? Get your family together in one room and tell them what you want to do, whether you go to the cinema alone, see a friend, all go for a meal or tell them they’re cooking dinner tonight - whatever. Own Mother’s Day and tell them that you want to do.

So once again it’s the woman who has to force others to appreciate her? Fuck that.

So you got the gift for being a martyr - no thanks. So keep running around after them and don’t complain.
Why haven’t you said anything? Both your 10 and 13yo are disgraceful. To not even utter the words to wish you??
I have a 10yo boy who wrote a beautiful letter, helped dh make breakfast, and bought something for me with his own money! It’s how you raise them op.

They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.

Why are you doing this?

I am a single parent and I’ve barely lifted a finger today.

There are 2 days a year that I do as little as possible and that’s my bday and Mother’s Day.
If I lived with my DCs dad then I wouldn’t be doing any of it.

Go sit on the sofa and tell your DH to sort it all.

I know you mean well, but how to kick someone when they’re down. You didn’t need to add the last sentence.

Stop excusing the older kids. I bet they can very well remember to list their demands if it was a birthday of theirs. Why can’t you expect a 10yo and 13yo to be held to this? They are not toddlers. Even my friends 7yo was able to make the day special for them.

How nasty and condescending

Have you only managed to raise one?

Nothing in that was meant to “mean well”!

What are you a fucking slave? Just walk out the door and go and treat yourself to a few hours off.

I wouldn’t be doing any of that. I would have sat myself down, changed the channel to something I wanted to watch and said it’s Mother’s Day, I’m doing nothing and my programme choice!

It’s mad isn’t it!

"I run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in"

Hopefully it's their idea of "high jinks" and they actually have planned something for later on @bytheway9 (never a good plan tbh)

BUY those cushions 🌻

This is the problem with the extreme child-centred parenting we see nowadays…we teach them the world revolves around them and no one else matters including their own parents, who do literally everything for them. Then we get upset when they show a complete inability to consider and appreciate other people.

My Mother made such a fuss about Mother’s Day (we are NC now) that it means I am just happy to shape my own day without waiting on the perfect card or breakfast in bed. My 3 boys love me and that’s thanks enough.

There is a happy medium isn’t there - pop in and say you are surprised you are still waiting for your cards but you are off for a bath and they can do them after that. You presume DH has sorted something for tea?

Let them crack on. Do not accept the role
of facilitator without reward. Raise that bar each year. Don’t let them grow up into selfish little things.

Have you asked your husband why he is being an inconsiderate arse?