AIBU to want to sell my house and daughter wants continue to rent it ?

[Chloe2434]

This is difficult to to decide.

my daughter is 42, working with 2 children ( my lovely grandchildren) One has anxiety problems, young teenager. daughter has rented my house for 6 years. I did want to sell my rental house previously but my daughter wanted lower rent and asked to rent mine for a while. Its now been six year, i charge low obviously.
iv been diagnosed with a slow growing cancer and explained to her i want to sell it and release some capital so i can do a few things while I am still relatively healthy, my daughter has called me selfish, “ I'm throwing my grandchildren children out etc ‘ it’s causing us to argue and the guilt gets to me, as to be honest she is single and rents are hard aren’t they for single parents.

Do you own the house you are currently living in?

If you've been letting her rent at a lower then market rent then yes it may be very hard for her to find something else affordable although she may be eligible to claim Universal credit depending on her income.
I think if I were you I'd be looking at other options for raising some cash first. Would it be possible to release some money from a private pension for example.

I live in my partners house of 18 years

its been 6 years of lower rent, if she didn’t save anything for the inevitable move that’s on her. She is also deeply selfish that she’s only thinking of herself and trying to guilt you with talk of throwing them out. Sell the house, go enjoy yourself, they will manage

Do you not want to keep the house as security in case you ever split with them ? What would happen in that scenario? You would be in a precarious position if you sold the house, spent the money and then split with your partner and had no-where to live.

I can see both sides.

Im guessing she isnt in a position to get a mortgage?

Could you sell it to her or would she not get a mortgage?

Yanbu to want to sell though could you give her some of the profit towards a deposit,

Living with “very long term partners house” as his house has a bigger garden and I really love gardening.

I’m struggling to think what things I would want to do, that would Top Trump giving my Child & Grandchildren a safe & secure home.

There are mortgages for this reason but you take a lower price but save my not paying agents etc. Tell your daughter to look up concessionary mortgages and you too.

Urgh she sounds emotionally manipulative - I would never dream of calling my mother selfish. She has had low rent for 6 years and can't expect it to go on forever. Is she a single mother? How low is the rent? Is there any compromise available? Before discussing it with her I would insist on her being a bit more respectful and to think of your needs as well as her own. She's in her 40s not 14.

Yanbu at all.
Your daughter has shown her entitlement by name calling you.
It is not your job to house your grandchildren that SHE chose to have.

Its a very difficult one as she clearly now sees the house as hers.

Maybe think about options. Sell it and use some of the cash to subsidise the difference between what daughter is paying now to you and market rent on a different property. Sell and downsize and use the profit to do the things you want to do. Leave daughter in new property.

I know you don't want to turf daughter on the side of the road, but there are alternatives you could figure out with her. She needs to see your circumstances and illness also. It's a two way street. I am sorry you are ill. But I think you're right to try and enjoy things while you are well enough.

Maybe getting diagnosed with cancer and also wanting a good life with options for yourself?

Can she buy the house off you? At an affordable price?
I would struggle to kick my daughter and grandkids out to the vagaries of private renting if I didn't have to. I would hope she's been able to save over the years but I also know how expensive life is as a single mum even with 'cheaper' rent. I privately rented for 11 years and the rent never went up much so by the time I left it was well below market rate but it was still a lot of money and I still didn't have enough spare to save let alone save for a house deposit.

Yes I totally understand this.

i am 61 early retired due to the cancer and needed to rest. My idea is to sell my house and purchase a smaller house and release around £50, O000 to travel and visit long term old friends etc also treat my kids a bit while I’m still here. I’d enjoy that too.

That then also leaving a smaller property for income and something to move back into if ever needed , something to leave my children when I’m not here ( probably too small for my daughter to rent as she needs a 3 bed house ) etc

iv already cashed in a relatively small pension to pay for some of my care and also revamp the house ready for selling.

I agree with others that I would try and find a way for your DD to buy the house herself. Kicking her out now, when thousands of others are also being kicked out due to the new rent rules would be heartless and I could never do that to one of my DCs. I would want my DD (or my GCs) to inherit the house if I knew I had a terminal illness.

Has she been able to save anything for a deposit?

I can see where this is a tough one. But your daughter and grandkids will have it really tough without your help and I personally couldn't put them out of a home so I could go do stuff. My priority would be their security. So I would not sell and I would leave her the home in my will.

Yes iv told her wiling to give her 15,000 towards a deposit but she still thinks she will struggle

Yanbu OP. It's not like you are doing it for shit and giggles.
You can put yourself first, especially in situation like that. You still plan on helping anyway so it's not like you are just kicking her out.
Go on with your plan.

I cannot leave her all the future house as would be fair to my over daughter aged 35 with a child that to be honest manages her finances a little bit better and rents a “ housing association house ) and is settled.

Well hasn't your daughter been lucky that you have a partner to live with & therefore a property to rent to he at below market price.

And she thinks that you are selfish?

Wow!

Doesn’t this depend on the conversations when the agreement was made? If my mum had said “sure, you can live there, with a low rent” and that was it, I’m not sure I would have expected her to turn round 6 years later and kick me and my children out. If she had said “sure, I can help you out short term until you get back on your feet, but if my situation changes, I might need to sell it” Then there would be a different mindset.

OP is choosing to put herself before the needs of her child and grandchildren. By definition that is selfish. Whether she is right to do that is a matter of opinion. I can’t imagine doing such a thing if I was financially able to avoid it, but I’ve never been in OP’s position so I can’t know what I would do in that situation.

No she isn’t really, it’s because house prices have escalated so much in our rural area. She would need a partner with 2 incomes to manage buying a house. Most single people in this area have no chance unless 2 person income these days…. It’s so hard most people rent in our area these days :9/