AIBU to want to sell my house and daughter wants continue to rent it ?

[Chloe2434]

This is difficult to to decide.

my daughter is 42, working with 2 children ( my lovely grandchildren) One has anxiety problems, young teenager. daughter has rented my house for 6 years. I did want to sell my rental house previously but my daughter wanted lower rent and asked to rent mine for a while. Its now been six year, i charge low obviously.
iv been diagnosed with a slow growing cancer and explained to her i want to sell it and release some capital so i can do a few things while I am still relatively healthy, my daughter has called me selfish, “ I'm throwing my grandchildren children out etc ‘ it’s causing us to argue and the guilt gets to me, as to be honest she is single and rents are hard aren’t they for single parents.

The reason I ask is that it might be difficult for you to evict her. Is she a tenant or is she squatting?

Who insures the property? There are so many legal matters that you need to address. You cannot keep ignoring your responsibilities.

What is an informal arrangement and squatting?
Allowing a person exclusive use of a property and requesting rent constitutes a tenancy. That's it.

If you don’t get her to leave, I think your other daughter will really struggle to get her to leave when the house is inherited between the two of them.

Don't sell the house but charge her full rent and stop bailing her out every month, it is so unfair on her sibling. Tell her she can't miss a single month's rent or the house goes on the market. Explain that she needs to think long term as when you die the house will be sold and split between her and her sister.

Sell the house to your daughter at 66%of its value. She will then have a great loan to value for getting a mortgage.
Take the 66% cash and divide it equally between you and your other daughter. Both daughters get their "inheritance" which you wished to leave them, and you get the cash to travel etc? Or 25% to each daughter 50% to you if you need more.
Your daughter will own and should probably take responsibility for her own bills and maintenance etc from this point but at least you're not making her homeless

This is another excellent point. Things can get very bad very quickly. If you could put DD1 on a path to buying half the house, which I realise may be impossible, you could avoid this.

Otherwise it may be a reason to get her out now. Possibly difficult for your DGC but she is the one bringing it on them, not you, by her behaviour.

If you give her notice she can then apply for social housing just like her sister.

She isn't deeply selfish at all. It isn't deeply selfish to be worried about yourself and your children being homeless. Survival is not selfish.

Look into a Genuine Bargain Price mortgage. They’re not hugely common but may be appropriate in this instance.

Her mom offered her 15000 and she refused it.

She wants the house that she can't even afford to pay low rent on every month, much less maintain. She needs a reality check.

And yes, guilt tripping your mom with cancer who has basically supported you for 6 years for not continuing that support is selfish. Her mom has lost over £21000 by not renting her rental at the going rate.

I agree with the posters saying that for your younger daughter’s sake, you must sort out the house situation now or she’ll be left with a big mess to deal with.

You plan to leave the house to both your DD’s so at some point, your older DD will need to either buy her sister out or they’ll sell the house and she’ll have to find other accommodation.

Speak to a financial advisor and a solicitor to see what your options are now. If your illness is life-limiting, you need to be mindful of the seven-year IHT gift tax too.

Of course you deserve to enjoy yourself while your health permits and your older DD is being unreasonable to deny you that. There may be a way to resolve this so look into it ASAP.

Yep. She chose to have her children. You do what suits you best.

But who are you to judge the op for judging her own daughter, especially as you don’t know the full situation.

The selfishness and the nasty behind the comments to her mum who has done nothing but bail her daughter out for the last six years (possibly more) is not survival. It's manipulation and anger. Why on earth is mum, now being diagnosed with cancer allowed sod all in kindness, understanding, sympathy and respect?

The daughter stuck her head in the sand for the future, she took her mum's good nature and help for granted. The daughter should've used that six year grace period to plan for the future, even if it meant putting herself on a council waiting list. She could've been in a council house by now on cheaper rent and made a nice home for her children and perfectly safe and sound. As much as some people like to feel entitled to everything from their parents, there has to come a time where being an adult people make adult decisions and look after themselves.

I disagree this is a case of “survival”. She is helped a lot by her mum and in return she is being a dick.

And what happens in the event of the OP's death? A nasty argument and one greedy daughter refusing to let her sister have her inheritance.

Agreed.

If there is no tenancy agreement, the house insurance will be invalid.

Could you give her notice
take her to court to evict her and that way she would be a priority for social housing
as long as you do it all properly it’s probably the best option.

It might be harder, but it's still possible to insure the structure without. And the tenant should insure their own belongings.

Your daughter is incredibly selfish. You've offered to help her. You give her low rent and subsidise her bills. Sounds like she's failed to launch. Not your job your job to pay for your middle aged daughter.

Yes, this is probably a good solution for this. I doubt the daughter will see it this way but it would be for the daughters benefit in the long run.

She is deeply selfish and unkind

Her mum is ill and wants to do something for herself. She should be getting support and encouragement from her children

Op has offered £15 grand to help daughter find somewhere else... daughter could afford a flat but that isn't what she wants....tough!

Instead of being grateful at this offer, Daughter is throwing a tantrum, when her mum doesn't need anymore stress.

I also suspect she will guilt trip her sister into letting her remain in the house when it is passed onto the 2 of them

Op, sell the house now and do as you please with the money, for your other daughter's sake if anything

Also the 15k unless she can buy a house will
mean her universal is stopped/cut down a lot anything above 6k I believe.

She could look into shared ownership. £15k would be a nice deposit and then she could potentially get benefits to help with the rented portion (which is a subsidised rent). Sounds like she's throwing her toys out the pram because you've given her an easy ride for years.