Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Oh, don't bother. OP isn't coming back. 🙄

I couldn’t get worked up over this. Yabu.

Are you my MIL?

Honestly, give them a break. They went out and got nice things to meet your demand - that in itself is effort and probably of a better standard.

did u get a gift? A nice card? A nice time spent with loved ones?

Don't pick holes

m&s pre made any day

I think M&S sandwiches are lovely and you’d get a lot more variety this way than buying everything separately.
I would personally be very happy with this, I think it’s a creative and interesting way to have a nice selection.
I do appreciate that home made would probably be nicer and obviously fresher but I would be grateful they had chosen a very nice supermarket to get the bits rather than a cheaper, budget shop.

I think you’re wrong on this one. M&S is a “luxury” shop - most people go there to get nice treats. She’s 13 and probably thought she was doing a nice thing and that they would be a bit more special than a homemade sandwich. You sound like you’re micro managing the whole thing - if you’re going to be so specific and not enjoy what your daughter comes up with you should do it yourself.

I agree. I think a teenager would see M&S food as a bit ‘posh’ and that it was a nice treat for mum to not have to do any cooking or prep, everything already made and no mess.

I think the fact the OP then went out and bought rolls etc herself to ‘correct’ her ff and let her know she’d got it wrong is horrible.

I cook from scratch almost every night but I’d be really pleased with M&S sandwiches and cakes from my young teen.

Seriously?
It's the thought that counts.
Even more than that..
It's just a day. Means nothing compared to everyday health, love, joy and caring...

This really is the biggest problem you have. They didn’t make a sandwich?

@TwistedWondersame here! We always have a homemade dinner and I make sandwiches every day, so think it would be nice to have something different as a treat.
Throwing a baby shower for a friend in a few weeks and was planning to order a few M&S sandwich platters - now I’m worried people will be horrified 😅

This…

You’re absolutely being ungrateful. I can’t believe you’d even post this. Your poor daughter!

Incredibly entitled and ungrateful.
They probably thought it would be more special and bring more variety with it being for just three.
Feel sorry for your husband and daughter. Shame.

I’d be delighted! They used to do a lovely cheese and celery one back in the day. Either that or the coronation chicken for my lunch. Delicious.

In 5 years time the OP will be on Mumsnet asking if anyone can tell her what she's done to make her DD go NC! 🤣

God I hope you didn't let on to your 13 yr old after she:
Asked what you wanted
Got together with her dad to buy it
Did it basically exactly how you wanted
Aged 13!! Honestly, my children are a bit younger and they gave me;
A lego car they made
One of their old cuddly penguins because they thought I liked it
I love the gifts even though (no shit) I didn't in anyway ask for them or really want them. Your dd has tried really hard to deliver what you want, you don't get to say she's made no effort/put in no thought when she clearly has. At 13 I'd have likely grunted at my poor mum and then gone out with my mates. You're lucky to have one so thoughtful.

I get it. Very likely that you do all the cooking usually and make lots of effort, and it probably felt like your husband was taking the lazy option. Some people just think differently. Try not to make it a big deal as your daughter was probably a bit excited.

You’re being a spoilt brat.

I have a proud photo of the time my DC made scones, sandwiches and cake for Mother's Day. I think it's the fact they didn't try to make themselves that is upsetting you. Maybe DH wanted you to have a "luxury" tea so just missed the point of what you wanted.

I'm with you OP. I cook from scratch for family. if I had just asked for some sandwiches in return, and all I got was ready made supermarket ones, I would be disappointed. I wouldn't say anything, but I would still be very disappointed. Home made sandwiches are way better than supermarket ones.

Grossly ungrateful. You sound like a petulant child to be honest.

Why bother asking if you aren’t going to take the replies? Maybe have a word with your husband if he suggested the ready-made sandwiches. Chances are, he thought you’d like it and appreciate the M&S approach.

You are absolutely ridiculous

You are absolutely ridiculous